


Remembering the Forgotten

by ellipsisthegreat



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Adventure, Gen, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-09-13
Updated: 2008-09-13
Packaged: 2017-10-25 15:12:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 69,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/271704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ellipsisthegreat/pseuds/ellipsisthegreat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p><b>Remembering the Forgotten</b></p>
    </blockquote>





	1. Prologue: Vacuus Nomen

**Author's Note:**

> **Remembering the Forgotten**

_"Now you see me, now you don't. First you do but then you won't; watch me vanish right before your eyes. You might think you see me there in a cafe on a street somewhere—yeah, that might be me but I'll be gone. Now you see me, now you don't. If you ever get the feelin' that it feels like déjà vu, because some stranger feels like someone that you know…" –Lee Ann Womack, '(Now You See Me) Now You Don't'_

Sometimes, I thought that I was the only person who remembered him.

Of course, that isn't to say that I remembered everything about him—I didn't know his name, or his voice, for example—but I remembered his face, and a few of his mannerisms. I remembered that he always— _always_ —pissed me the fuck off.

Mostly, I remembered his presence. Like sometimes, when I was fighting Hayner Duncan, he would get a free shot in because I paused for a split second, waiting for someone to step in and break us up. It was an odd feeling, thinking that something should have happened that just…never did. I fucking hated it, but I'd been getting it a lot. And I got the feeling that people (and by 'people' I mean 'Hayner') were starting to catch on.

I tried ignoring it for a while, and then this kid—Sora, his name was—passed through Twilight Town, and I could almost physically _see_ the Boy (that's what I came to call him) standing there instead of Sora. If you replaced the brown hair with blonde and changed the styling, they looked so much alike that could have been twins, or something. It was fucking weird, and not in a good way.

After Sora left (I ended up missing most of his stay because being around him freaked me out so fucking much), I decided that forgetting the Boy was useless. So instead, I learned to deal with it, and also how to get those odd 'feelings' out during times other than those split seconds during my fights with Hayner.

I began putting him in my art.

And yeah, I'm a fucking artist. Don't fucking look at me like that, you judgmental bastard, you don't have to be disgustingly effeminate to be an artist. Nor do you have to be gay (which I actually am), emo (which I actually am not), or insane (also not). But I'm getting off the fucking subject—happy now?

Anyhow, I started sticking him in some of my paintings. It was never _all_ of him, mind you—there was a silhouette of him here, or a person with his eyes there…that sort of thing. I wasn't quite _that_ creepy or obsessive. But we tend to express what we know—and, somehow…for some reason…I knew the Boy.

Does that make _any_ fucking sense whatsoever?

Ah, fuck it. I don't give a damn.

So…I know what you're thinking right now. You're thinking 'why the fuck is this guy rambling about this shit?' and 'why the fuck does he think I care?'

The truth is, I dunno if you care. The truth is, I don't fucking care if you don't care. If you don't give a fuck, what the hell are you still reading this for?

It's because you're curious, right? You want to know the reason behind my little monologue, am I right?

What the fuck am I saying? Of _course_ I'm right.

So I'll get right to the point…

…Well, maybe not exactly right to the point. You'll have to keep reading to find _that_ out.

But I will say this:

The painting that I finally did of the Boy—the one that my art teacher forced me to enter into the school's art competition in spite of the fact that I had _never_ entered it before—is the painting that completely changed my life.

Still curious?

Then read the fuck on, dipshit.

(PAGEBREAK,Y'KNOW?)

"I thought I said I didn't want to enter the damn thing, Miss Astor." I said, scowling at my sweet but surprisingly manipulative art teacher.

Miss Astor (the aforementioned art teacher) sighed and set down whatever it was she was working on in favor of giving me an almost disappointed look. "Seifer…I don't know if it's a macho thing, or if you're just too private for your own good, or what, but…I will never for the life of me understand why you're hiding your talent away like you do. You're really, really good—probably better than me. And I'm not…I _refuse_ to let you keep that talent from everyone anymore. I'm sorry, Seifer, but…I just can't."

"Well _I_ can." I said. "It's not your decision."

"As long as you're in my class it is." She said. "And right now…I feel like we're roping off the Grand Canyon or Niagara Falls or something like that. Those sorts of things—things _that_ beautiful—aren't meant to be hidden. It's practically a _crime_ to hide them, really."

I blushed a little. "You're exaggerating."

"But the point is the same." She said, undeterred. "I'm not letting you hide anymore, Seifer, so you'd better just suck it up."

I glared at her, but she just stared defiantly back at me until finally I sighed and nodded acquiescently. She smiled, victorious, then went back to her sketch without another word. I stood there for a moment more, not entirely sure what to do now that I had agreed to let her enter me into the contest, then decided that the wisest course of action was to go work on my painting.

So, I gathered my things out of my locker and went over to where my painting was being kept. I sat down and took the cover off of it, surveying it for a moment.

It was alright, I suppose. It had been done in oil paints, since those don't dry as fast as pastels. It was also rather dark, with the Boy pressed against one side, hand against the edge of the painting like he was peering out at the audience. The background was all blacks and reds, pressing against him as though he was being trapped to the side by it. Before the paint could dry I had smeared it across his face so that you could no longer make out any of his features, like the darkness was living and trying to erase the Boy.

…Okay, so it was _really_ fucking dark.

I poured out my color palette, my jaw clenching like it always did when I painted, my eyes slightly narrowed, my eyebrows furrowed together in deep concentration. I must have been touching the damn thing up for a good half an hour before I was interrupted.

"I need a name to submit." Miss Astor said.

I jumped a little, whipping around to face her. When had she come up behind me?

"Sorry." She said, not sounding apologetic at all.

I shrugged and turned back to the painting. "It's called ' _The Boy Without a Name_.'"

She put her hands on my shoulders, peering past me at it. "I don't know that it fits."

"It doesn't have to fit—that's what it's fucking called." I said huffily. "Let the critics try to figure it out."

"Let's call it ' _Vacuus Nomen_.'" She said. "It's Latin for 'without name,' but it sounds darker so it fits the piece better."

I nodded slowly as the idea tumbled around in my head a bit. "Alright. _Vacuus Nomen_. I like it." I decided, then gave her a semi-hopeful look. "Can you at least leave my name off of it?"

She pursed her lips at me.

"Please?" I asked. "If my dad finds out…"

Her eyebrows rose, but she nodded. "Alright, fine."

I smiled.

"But!" She said, messing with my beanie. "If you win, I'm telling. Deal?"

I made a face. "Deal."

"Good." She patted my back. "Now go home. It's perfect, okay?"

I snorted. None of my pieces were ever perfect. But I cleaned everything up and left anyhow, hands stuffed in my pockets.

I wondered if the way the wind suddenly picked up as I stepped outside was some sort of a bad fucking omen, or something.


	2. Effluo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Effluo (to vanish, be forgotten, become known)

" _I'm so tired but I can't sleep; standin' on the edge of something much too deep. It's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word. We are screaming inside, but we can't be heard. But I will remember you…will you remember me?" –Sarah McLachlan, 'I Will Remember You'_

I bit my lip as I wandered around the library, where the entries for the contest were being showcased. Stuffing my hands in my pockets, I carefully avoided going anywhere near my own painting, instead observing the rest. Some were actually pretty good—and I'm not _just_ being an arrogant ass, there. My school wasn't exactly known for spitting out the best artists around, if you know what I mean. In fact, most considered us to be progressing backward in the art department. Miss Astor was all the time saying that I was probably the best artist to be in my highschool since…well, ever, actually. And while I was a very confident person, I accepted the fact that she was just happy to have someone around who was even moderately artistically inclined and was probably over-exaggerating quite a bit.

"Slim pickings as usual." I overheard someone sighing as they looked at a _really_ bad painting of…an animal, maybe? Wait, it was supposed to be a moogle…? Jesus Christ son of the Virgin Mary, even a Kindergartner could have painted a better fucking likeness…they're fucking _moogles_. You just draw a fucking stuffed animal and give it an antenna. How do you fuck them up that badly?

Never mind. I probably didn't want to know.

"That painting with the funny Latin name is pretty good." Someone else said.

"Yeah, but it doesn't say who the painter is." The first person replied, then snickered. "I bet Miss Astor entered it so there would be something decent around here!"

"You think Miss Astor could do something that dark?" The second person asked skeptically.

"You think anyone else around here could?" The first person retorted, and then they walked out of my hearing range.

I felt myself scowling. Part of me wanted to just tell the stupid fuckers that it was mine, and of _course_ Miss Astor couldn't draw something that fucking dark. The sensible part of me (which does, in fact, exist—no matter what the lamer and his gang might tell you) reigned that part in by saying that doing so would just alert my father to what I was really up to after school.

See, my dad was one of those judgmental dumb fucks who think all artists are gay, crazy, and/or overly emotional. In other words, he hated them and could never, _ever_ find out that I painted. He thought I was Struggling every afternoon after school instead of painting, and luckily for me I was a fucking natural Struggler, which meant that I seemed to be improving even though I didn't practice much. But if he found out the truth…

That'd be a bad day at the Almasy household. Let's leave it at that, shall we?

The whole thing was over pretty damn quickly, and the results for the competition were to be announced the next day. Sadly, I was completely sure I was going to win. I say 'sadly' because I'm a competitive son of a bitch even when I don't want to be in the competition. To have no opposition at all just rubbed me the wrong fucking way.

Once I was sure everyone was gone, I drifted over to where my painting had been hung…

And nearly tripped over Hayner Duncan, who was sitting in front of it, knees brought up to his chest as he stared at it like a man possessed.

"What the fuck, chickenwuss?" I demanded angrily as I regained my balance.

"Watch where you're fucking going, Seifer." He snapped back, giving me a disgruntled look that was actually almost…endearing?

"Don't sit in the middle of the fucking floor." I said. "Dumbass."

He snorted, rolled his eyes, and looked back at my painting, an odd expression coming to his face.

I looked from the painting, to him, and back again a few times. "What? You got a problem with it?" I asked defensively.

"No, I just…" He cut himself off, looking down and worrying his bottom lip with his teeth. "Never mind. It's stupid."

I closed my eyes and counted to eight. I had been trying to count to ten, but that never really staved off my temper any so I almost always ended early.

"Just tell me what the fuck it is, lamer." I said, crossing my arms over his chest.

"I…I think I know the person in the painting." He said.

"You know him?" I asked incredulously.

"I told you it was stupid." He said, blushing.

I snorted and plopped down beside him. "So? What makes you think you know him?"

"Because I've…been noticing things lately. _Weird_ things." He said, careful not to look at me "Like…something's missing, only I don't remember exactly what." He shook his head. "No, I know _what_. It's a person. Someone who…was really close to me. I don't remember a lot, just little things…like how he liked sea salt ice cream. And I remember his name. But I couldn't remember his face until I looked at this painting."

I arched an eyebrow at him. "The painting's smeared."

"I know that, you ass." He said, scowling at me. "I just…remembered what he looked like when I saw it, okay? I told you it was stupid."

"Right." I said. "So…what's his name, then?"

"His name's Roxas." He said.

It was like I'd been hit with something big, heavy, and hard…like a grand piano. Just like that, things started coming together in my head—who the Boy was…why he pissed me off…all that shit.

"He was…" Hayner began.

"Your best friend." I finished for him, eyes wide.

He jerked a little, looking at me with eyes even wider than mine.

"Did _you_ paint this?" He asked.

I nodded jerkily. "I couldn't remember his name, but I knew his face."

"What a pair we make." He mused almost bitterly, leaning his head on his knees so that he was looking at me. "So what now?"

"What do you mean, what now?" I asked. "Who cares about this Roxas kid, huh? He's gone. He might not even exist, chickenwuss."

"But what if he does?" He asked. "And everyone's forgotten him but us. Doesn't that mean something? Anything?" He shook his head a little. "It's gotta mean something."

"Even if it does…why would _I_ remember him? I hated him." I said.

"Maybe that's why. You hated him, and he was my best friend. We're the ones that felt the strongest for him, so we're the ones that remember him."

"There has to be a reason why everyone else forgot him." I pointed out.

"But that doesn't mean they were _supposed_ to forget him." He counteracted.

"I don't even fucking care!" I exploded, clasping my head in my hands.

"If you didn't care, you would've fucking left already!" He yelled. "We have to go find him, Seifer. Or at least we have to find out what happened to him."

"Why should I?" I asked, jaw tilting up challengingly.

"Because it'll fucking bug you until you do." He said, voice taunting. "Plus, you're the leader of the Disciplinary Committee, right? That means protecting _all_ of Twilight Town's citizens—even the ones you don't like and even the ones no one else remembers."

I made a face, but nodded. "Fine. But how in the fuck are we supposed to find him? He's not gonna be in fucking Twilight Town, obviously."

"The last time I saw him…he was making a big deal about that mansion just outside of town." Hayner said.

"The one that's supposed to be haunted?" I asked doubtfully.

He nodded. "We should start there."

I pursed my lips.

"We have to do _something_ , Seifer." He said insistently.

"Fine. But you're really stupid, just so you know." I said.

"If we find something, you totally have to suck it up and apologize." He decided, standing and offering his hand to me.

I looked from it up to his face, then took it and allowed him to help me stand.

(PAGEBREAK,Y'KNOW?)

"I still think this is really stupid, lamer." I said as we looked up at the 'haunted' mansion. "What if we're having some kind of shared hallucination?"

"You don't even like to share _air_ with me." He said. "You wanna think we're sharing some sort of weird hallucination? About a _boy_ no less?"

"Hmph."

He laughed. "C'mon, Seifer."

He _grabbed my hand_ and started pulling me toward the door, the gate already open. I was really starting to get freaked out, and tapped his head gently (for me, anyhow) with the Struggle Bat I'd brought. He'd brought his, too—'just in case we need them,' he said.

"Oi." He said, frowning at me.

I looked pointedly down at our hands, and he blushed and jerked his away like he thought mine was fucking diseased or something.

I let out a small, dry laugh and brushed past him into the mansion, eyes darting around the place suspiciously.

"This place is a fucking dump." I said as we walked inside.

"It's been abandoned for ages, idiot." He said.

"Watch who you're calling idiot, lamer." I said.

"Then you'd just accuse me of stalking you, idiot." He said.

I started, blinking at him. "Excuse me?"

"If I watched you." He explained. "You would say I was stalking you."

I frowned.

"Well, you would." He said.

I rolled my eyes, suddenly catching sight of the stairs. "Upstairs, then?"

"Alright." He said, following behind me. Upstairs was just as ratty as down, with rooms that might have been even more ill-kept, until we reached the one at the end of the hall.

That room was white— _eerily_ white. The only color came from the crude drawings scattered along the wall, which seemed to be telling a story…

"That's Roxas." Hayner said, pointing.

"And there's the kid that looks like him." I agreed, cocking my head to one side as I studied the pictures. "They're…are they supposed to be one person?"

"Something like that, I think." Hayner mused, suddenly giving me an odd look.

"What?" I asked.

"We aren't fighting yet." He said. "It's fucking weird."

"We're also looking at pictures of a boy who may or may not exist and his…counterpart, I guess?" I said, not entirely sure that that was the best one to describe what the brunette—Sora?—was to Roxas. "And we're apparently searching for that boy. And maybe his counterpart. I think we've officially crossed over into the Twilight Zone."

"Or the X-Files." He said, a smile tugging at the edge of his mouth.

I blinked, then shook my head. "You're right. This is fucking bizarre."

He actually _laughed_ , then. His laugh was deep, from his stomach. My grandmother always said that you could tell a lot about a person by their laugh—she would've liked Hayner's. I did; it was almost a soothing sound, actually. I just didn't like _him_.

"So…what now?" I grumbled, scratching my head awkwardly.

"Let's go back downstairs and check out some of the rooms. Maybe there's something there."

I nodded, and we went back downstairs. We ended up in a library of sorts, and just for shits and giggles started messing around with the books—you know, like in those old horror movies? Where there's a switch hidden among the books and all that? Yeah, that was the excuse we gave ourselves for it. Mostly we were just bored.

Eventually, though, that got boring, too. So we did what all virile young men do when they're bored—we started beating the shit out of each other with our Struggle Bats.

And then things started happening, because I shoved Hayner back into a statue situated in a little niche on the bookshelf.

There was a small shudder of the earth beneath our feet, followed by some nasty grating sounds. We jumped out of the way, pressing ourselves up against the wall and exchanging a wide-eyed, 'holy shit' look.

Slowly, as the floor was replaced by a set of stairs and we realized that nothing was coming after us, we relaxed.

"To the basement?" Hayner suggested, already going downstairs without.

"This is usually the part in the horror flick when the baddie shows up and someone dies." I muttered darkly, feeling the hairs on the back of my neck stand up as I followed warily behind.

"You're really fucking paranoid, you know that?" Hayner snickered.

"Doesn't mean people aren't following me." I said. A split second later, I grabbed Hayner's wrist and jerked him behind me, holding my bat out threateningly at a shadow that had just popped up out of the fucking floor. "Holy _fuck_!"

"What in the hell is that thing?" Hayner asked, fumbling with his own bat.

"I don't fucking know, but I know I'm gonna fucking kill the little bastard!" I said, lunging forward and hitting it hard with my bat.

It burst into a shower of munny, little green balls and bubbles (I fucking kid you not), the latter two of which made me feel a little better for some reason. Hayner seemed to have the same reaction as me, and we looked at each other for a long time before nodding (in fucking unison, as if things weren't spooky enough already) and continuing on. I kept one arm out a bit, stopping Hayner from passing me even though he didn't seem to want to pass. The other arm held my bat, obviously, and I kept jumping at every little noise and swinging it around blindly since the lights were so fucking dim I could hardly see the fucking floor, much less those weird shadow monster things.

"Computers." Hayner said suddenly, finally moving past me to inspect the electronic equipment that practically filled the room.

"No shit, Sherlock." I said.

"We should get Pence down here—he's good with this stuff." He said, ignoring my previous statement.

"Well la-dee-da for him." I said, still eyeing the shadows around us warily.

I heard him press buttons behind me.

"What the fuck are you doing, lamer?" I asked, glancing over my shoulder briefly.

"If I press enough buttons, _something's_ bound to happen sooner or later." He said vaguely, still pushing buttons. "Doncha think?"

I looked up at the heavens like they could help me, then shut my eyes and shook my head with an annoyed sigh. The gods hated me, I was sure.

" _Invalid entry._ " A computer voice said. " _Please try again._ "

"Shit, what'd you do now?" I asked.

" _Defense sequence activated._ "

"Defense—shit!" Hayner yelped when a beam suddenly shot out of the computer and hit him. He froze and seemed to have been covered in a green grid of some sort, and then he fucking disappeared.

"What the fuck?" I yelled, hitting one of the monitors with my bat. "Give him back, you piece of shit machine!"

" _Second intruder sighted. Defense sequence activated._ "

"No fucking—" I began, but was cut off when the beam hit me.

Everything went black.


	3. Universitum Seorsum

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Universitum Seorsum (Worlds Apart)

" _No matter where you choose to be, in my heart I'll always see you everywhere. Now a days when I'm passin' through, the conversation always turns to you. I hear you're doin' fine…" –Tim McGraw, 'Everywhere'_

"–Definitely a user." I heard as I came to.

"Another one? Why are they activating our defense system? Only Heartless are supposed to do that."

"Mfflghmp." I groaned, peeking my eyes open but quickly shut them again when bright, fucking _neon_ lights burned at my corneas.

"What language is that? Where's our user translator?"

"I think he's just tired."

"Hayner?" I managed to get out as I was helped up into a sitting position.

"Careful now, user." Someone said soothingly.

"Where's Hayner?" I asked as I blinked my eyes open blearily, putting my hand to my aching head. "Where the fuck am I?"

"I think Hayner is the other user." Someone said.

"Whaddya mean 'user'?" I demanded, finally taking a look at my surroundings. They were too fucking bright. "Where am I?"

"You're in the computer world." Said a kind looking woman in an outlandish outfit that kind of made me want to gag. "We call it Space Paranoids."

"The computer…world?" I repeated slowly.

"We'll explain once _you_ explain why you set off our defense systems." A stern looking man said, also dressed in a horribly garish outfit.

"I don't know what in the fuck you're talking about." I snapped, leaning forward a bit. "Shit, my head fucking hurts."

"What does fecal matter and fornication have to do with your head?" A younger man asked.

I gave him a dry look, then grimaced as my head pounded again. "Damn it, damn it, damn it."

"The user's ways are still confusing to us." The woman said. "If you'll explain what it is that you need—"

"I need you to fucking shut up for a minute." I spat, and immediately regretted it as she gave me one of the most pitiful looks I'd ever seen. Gay I might have been, but I was still a sucker when girls (and some guys) gave me that damned pouting face. "Look, I'm sorry. My head hurts; it's making me cranky."

"Oh." She said, far more forgiving than any female I'd ever come into contact with before. "What can I do to help?"

"Nothing. It'll pass." I said, waving her off. "Where's Hayner?"

"The other user is still sleeping." The younger man said.

"Is he okay?" I asked.

"Our medical examiners have found nothing wrong with him." He replied.

I let out a relieved sigh, insisting to myself that I was only relieved because as of that moment Hayner was the only normal person I knew. "I'm Seifer, by the way."

"My name is Yori." The woman said. "That is Ram," She pointed at the younger man, then at the older, "And that is Tron."

"And this…this is the Space Paranoids?" I asked. "Another…another world?"

"Yes. Our defense system brought you here, because you are a user. Our defense systems don't allow for us to destroy you as we do most things that activate them." Yori said.

"We didn't mean to activate them. We were…we're looking for someone and kind of stumbled on a computer." I said. "The whole story is…complicated."

"Who are you looking for?" Ram asked curiously.

"Someone named Roxas." I said.

"I've never heard of him." Yori said. "But I could start a search engine for you, if you like."

"Do you know Sora? We think they're related somehow." I said.

"Sora?" Tron asked. "He is my friend. I can't take you to where he is now, but I can take you to the last port he used to get here. That might be a good place to start looking."

"That'd be awesome." I said, standing and wavering just a bit. "Can you take me to Hayner?"

"He's right over here." Ram said, motioning with an arm. I looked over at where Hayner was lying, wearing a very, very strange version of his own outfit. It was like it had been neon-ified (and trust me: neon army camouflage is even more dreadfully ugly than normal camouflage). A glance told me that my clothes had gotten the same treatment. Suppressing a shudder, I walked over to his bed and shook him a little gentler than I usually would have.

"Yo, chickenwuss, wake the fuck up." I said.

"You shouldn't do that." Yori scolded.

I rolled my eyes, but didn't reply since Hayner chose that moment (probably on purpose, the bastard) to moan and stir, eyes fluttering open.

"Where the hell am I?" He asked.

"Long story." I said. "But I think these folks know a way to find Sora. I figure we can ask him about Roxas."

He nodded, standing up and yawning and stretching. His bones cracked so loudly that I thought they might have broken, and I saw the three…computer people?…wince a little.

"So let's go!" He said, and I thought (rather jealously, I'll admit) that he must not have had to deal with a headache.

"Introduce yourself first, dumbass." I said, elbowing him.

He gave me a disgruntled look, then smiled sheepishly at the others. "Sorry about that. I'm Hayner."

"I'm Yori, this is Tron, and that's Ram." Yori said cheerfully. "This way."

We followed them around some very confusing streets—each one flashier than the last—until we reached a small room with a computer screen installed into one of the walls.

"Here it is. I'll tell Leon you're coming, then beam you through." Tron said, typing on some keys expertly.

"It was nice to meet you." Yori said kindly. "I hope you find your friend."

I decided not to bother correcting her about the 'friend' part, instead opting to give her a minute nod that was quickly overshadowed by Hayner's enthusiastic agreement (not that I minded).

"Here you go." Tron said. "Good luck, users."

Ram waved, smiling sweetly at us, and then we were hit by another beam of light (this one far less…painful) and transported back out of Space Paranoids. I realized just as the scenery faded away that at some point we had lost our Struggle bats.

(PAGEBREAK,Y'KNOW?)

There was no blacking out this time, which meant no headache. We just landed a bit roughly, and then I heard someone yell, "YOU!" just before a fist smashed into the side of my face. Okay, never mind—there was a headache after all.

"What the fuck?" I cursed, one hand on my cheek as I looked around wildly and tried to regain my bearings.

"Leon! What are you doing?" A softer voice gasped.

Someone grabbed my collar. "What the hell are you doing here, Seifer?"

"Hey, let go of him you fucking asshole!" Hayner shouted, and punched the man who had been holding me. I was dropped, and quickly stood up and crouched into a fighting stance, glaring down at the man. Hayner had apparently floored him (which meant that, for once, I was cheering for him…in my head, of course).

"Who the fuck are you and what the fuck is your problem?" I demanded.

"Don't play cute with me, Seifer!" The man growled. He had long brown hair, and wore a strange leather and fur outfit that could _not_ have been comfortable. He also had a scar across his forehead that gave me a bit of a start, since it was a perfect mirror to my own.

"I'm not playing cute!" I snapped. "I don't know who the fuck you are _or_ how in the hell you know my fucking name! And if you fucking punch me again I swear to fucking God I'll shove that furry get-up so far up your ass you'll be coughing up hairballs for a week!"

"Leon, I'm surprised at you." Scolded a woman with long, braided brown hair held up by a pink ribbon and a pink dress. "Hitting a child!"

"I'm not a fucking child, lady, I'm seventeen." I snapped.

"Seventeen?" The asshole repeated slowly, giving me a confused look.

"Yeah, as in one year younger than eighteen, and one year older than sixteen." I said slowly, as if explaining it to a child. "Dumbass."

"Please don't curse." The woman winced a little. "My name is Aerith, and that is Leon, who I'm sure is very sorry for punching you. Aren't you, Leon?"

'Leon' snorted, but nodded stiffly for all that he refused to look at me as he stood up.

"I'm Seifer." I said, eyeing both of them suspiciously. "This is Hayner."

"Oh, did Raijin and Fuujin finally wise up and ditch you, so you had to find a new lackey?" Leon sneered.

"Say that again, ass wipe!" Hayner growled, hands balling into fists at his sides.

"You heard me!" Leon said.

"Leon!" Aerith said sternly as she put a hand on his shoulder. "I don't know what's gotten into you, but you need to stop it right now!"

Leon pursed his lips together, then looked at me, arms crossed over his chest. "How'd you get that scar, _Seifer_?" He asked.

"In a sparring match with the chickenwuss, here." I said, mirroring his stance. "Although I don't see as to how it's any of _your_ business."

He gave a low chuckle, which came from his throat. My grandmother would have said to watch him, but that befriending him was a wise course of action. I reckoned he was just an asshole who needed to stay the fuck away from me.

"Right. Just…don't come near me while you're here." He said, turning to leave.

"Somehow I don't think that's going to be a problem, _Squall_." I spat, stiffening when I realized that the name that had come out of my mouth wasn't the name Aerith had used.

Leon stiffened, too. "… _What_ did you call me?" He asked slowly.

"You heard him." Hayner mocked. I'm not sure why he had taken my side on this when we still hated each other. Maybe because I was the only person he knew—and he was the only person _I_ knew, for that matter. The devil you know is better than the devil you don't know, I suppose.

Leon stared at us for a moment, eyebrows drawing together thoughtfully before finally he just shook his head and walked away.

"I'm sorry about him." Aerith sighed. "Leon's been a little on edge for the past few weeks. He isn't always so…"

"…Much of an asshole?" Hayner suggested.

"Crass." She corrected gently.

"Well _that_ makes everything better." I drawled. "Look, can you just tell us where a kid named Sora is? We need to talk to him about something."

"Oh, Sora's on Destiny Islands." She said immediately, giving me a patient smile—like she thought that being nice to me would somehow make me forget what a complete and utter bastard I was.

Fucking _women_.

"How can we get there?" Hayner asked.

She paused for a moment, tapping her chin thoughtfully before she was struck by some thought. "You might be able to borrow a Gummi Ship from Cid." She looked outside. "But you should get some rest first, I think. It's been a long day, I'm sure, and it's almost dark out."

I wrinkled my nose. "I don't think—"

"Sure we'll stay." Hayner interrupted, elbowing me.

"Good!" She said sweetly. "Follow me, please."

"What the fuck, chickenwuss?" I hissed as we followed her out of the control room.

"I'm fucking tired, not to mention hungry." He replied huffily. "You are, too, if you'd take two seconds to think about it. Besides, you're the one against finding Roxas, remember? He's waited this long—he can wait long enough for us to get a good night's rest."

"God, you're a real mother hen, aren't you?" I asked incredulously. "It's no wonder this Roxas kid left."

He ground his teeth together almost audibly, shooting me a glare that made one of my eyebrows arch upward. "Let's try _not_ to fight while we're relying on these peoples' hospitality, okay?"

I shrugged. "Fine."

"But if that dick tries to hit you again I'll help you kick his ass." He added determinedly, not seeming at all phased by the strange look I gave him. He just huffed a little. "Bastard called me your goddamn _lackey_ , for fuck's sake."

I tried to stop the snigger that bubbled up in my throat, but it forced itself out.

Hayner cocked his head to one side, studying me for a moment before returning his gaze to watch ahead of where he was walking. "Fucking Twilight Zone." He muttered in disbelief.

"I know." I said. "I never thought I'd see the day when someone thought we were anything other than fucking _enemies_."

"You aren't friends?" Aerith interrupted before Hayner could say anything else, a curious expression on her face.

"Not even close." I said.

"But why are you traveling together if you don't like each other?" She asked.

"Because…well, it's kind of a long story." Hayner said, rubbing the back of his neck. "But I guess you could say it's out of necessity."

She put a sympathetic hand over her mouth. "Was your world destroyed?"

I frowned. "What? No, of course not. How could an entire world be destroyed?"

"By the Heartless, of course." She said, as if we were supposed to know what in the fuck 'Heartless' were.

We both gave her a blank look, and she blinked.

"You…don't know what Heartless are?" She asked slowly.

"Nope." Hayner said.

"Oh, well…when a person gets too close to the darkness, they lose their heart and become Heartless. The Heartless go around stealing other peoples' hearts and making them Heartless, as well, and eventually they steal the heart of a world, which destroys it." She explained. "Radiant Gardens—that's the world we're on—was once very close to being destroyed. But then Sora came and restored it. He's the Keyblade Master."

"Keyblade…Master?" I repeated.

"Yes. The Keyblade chooses a person with a pure heart, and they wield it and destroy the Heartless. Then the Keyblade Master locks the door to a world's heart away so that the Heartless can't get to it."

Hayner and I looked at each other for a moment before I shrugged.

"Weirder things have happened, I guess." I decided.

"But what does Roxas have to do with all of this?" Hayner asked, sounding more like he was thinking out loud than actually asking a question.

"What do you know about Roxas?" Aerith's voice suddenly lost most of its warmth as she gave us a rather stern look.

Hayner held his hands up. "Look, all we know is that he used to be in Twilight Town, but now he isn't anymore and no one but us remembers him."

Aerith's eyebrows drew together. "You shouldn't remember him, either. That should be impossible—neither of you would have ever actually known him." She said.

"Of course we knew him!" Hayner said angrily. "He was my best friend, Aerith! How could I just…forget him?"

"Roxas never really existed in Twilight Town." She said as she began walking a little faster. "He only existed in an _alternate_ Twilight Town—a virtual world—that was created while Sora was regaining his lost memories."

"Lost memories? Virtual world? What are you talking about?" I asked.

"We have to get you to Cid and Merlin right now." Aerith said. "It shouldn't be possible for you two to remember Roxas at all. Maybe they'll have some idea of what's going on."

"Look, we just want to know what happened to him." I said.

"And we want to see him again and know that he's alright." Hayner added.

Aerith shook her head. "You can't see him again. Roxas is…well, basically Roxas is dead."


	4. Excessum

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Excessum (departure, death, digression)

" _And though I cannot see you—and I can't explain why—such a deep, deep reassurance you've placed in my life…we cannot separate; 'cause you're part of me. And though you're invisible I'll trust the unseen…" –BarlowGirl, 'Never Alone'_

"What do you mean, 'basically he's dead?'" I asked, scowling furiously as Hayner got pale beside me. "He's either dead or he isn't, lady."

"Roxas was never really alive in the first place." Aerith said. "He was a Nobody."

"A…Nobody?" Hayner repeated slowly.

"When a person becomes a Heartless, their souls are left behind. If the person was strong-willed, their soul becomes a Nobody. If the person was _very_ strong-willed, it becomes a humanoid Nobody like Roxas. Roxas was Sora's Nobody."

"So…you're saying that Sora didn't have a soul for as long as Roxas was around?" I asked.

She shook her head. "It was fragmented. It's a rare occurrence for a Nobody and its Other to exist at the same time, but Sora and Kairi are…special."

"Kairi?" Hayner asked.

"Yes, she had a Nobody as well. Her Nobody's name was Naminé. After Sora, Kairi, and Riku defeated Organization XIII—a group of humanoid Nobodies who were trying to get hearts—Roxas and Naminé became one with their Others. They don't exist anymore." Aerith said.

"Basically, they're dead." I repeated her earlier statement, chuckling mirthlessly.

She nodded. "I'm sorry."

"But there still has to be a reason why we remember Roxas ." Hayner insisted. "Maybe they weren't really supposed to rejoin with their Others, or maybe—"

"Hayner…I think the memories you have are just the result of some sort of glitch in Ansem's virtual world." Aerith said. "Cid and Merlin will be able to figure out the particulars, but I don't think your memories mean anything except that something went wrong when the alternate Twilight Town was destroyed."

"Everything happens for a reason." Hayner said. " _Everything_ , Aerith. There's a reason why Seifer and I remember Roxas even though we've technically never met him. There's a reason why we're the only ones this glitch apparently effected. There's a reason for all of it."

"Hayner." I put a hand on his shoulder. "It's probably just a coincidence."

"I don't believe in coincidences." Hayner snapped, jerking away from me. "And I _am_ going to get to the bottom of this, whether you come with me or not. I'm going to find Roxas or Sora or whoever he is and…and I'm going to find out what's going on."

We stared at each other for a while, his gaze indignant and determined while mine was cool and unsure. Finally, I nodded.

"I'll see this thing through with you." I said.

His mouth stretched into a wide smile that made my heart do something funny.

"Thanks, Seifer." He said, without any of the sarcasm or derision that would normally have been in his voice.

I just nodded and looked at Aerith again. She had a strange look on her face.

"Enemies, hm?" She asked, smiling a little. "But I suppose the only thing for it is to help you."

"That's the spirit, Aerith." Hayner said, throwing an arm around her shoulder and grinning widely at her. I quashed the jealousy that roiled in my gut at the sight.

"We should still go see Cid and Merlin, though." She continued.

"We can eat first, can't we?" Hayner asked, giving her the most convincing puppy dog eyes I'd ever seen a person over the age of six manage to produce. "I'm hungry, Aerith."

She laughed at him softly and she pushed open the door to a tidy little flat. "Of course, Hayner. I'll fetch them while you two are eating."

"Thank you!" Hayner practically chirped, plopping into a chair by a table when she gestured for him to do so.

I did the same, though I was far more subdued than my…I suppose the best word for him at that point would have been 'companion.'

Aerith started pulling out some food for us, humming as she moved around the kitchen with the air of someone who spent a lot of time there. To be honest, it was kind of strange for me to see a woman in the kitchen—my mom could have burned a salad. My dad wasn't much better, though, which meant that I had mostly grown up on take out until I taught myself to cook and started fixing meals for us at age ten. Anyhow, she didn't really cook anything, just gave us stuff to make sandwiches with and then left with a cheerful wave and a promise to be back soon with Merlin and Cid (whoever they were).

"So…Roxas is dead." I said after we'd finished making our sandwiches.

"Sort of." Hayner said insistently, frowning at me.

"Are you sure you want to go through with this?" I asked. "I mean, there might be no way for us to ever actually see him again. We might just be visiting Sora, or…"

"I don't _care_ , Seifer." He cut me off. "I'm telling you: there's a reason that all of this happened, and I want to find out what it is. Maybe Roxas wasn't _supposed_ to rejoin his Other. We just don't know, and we _won't_ know until we find Sora."

"Hmm." I frowned, turning the idea over in my head. "What if—"

"Seifer." He said, giving me a look.

I pursed my lips together but didn't try to broach the subject again. The silence became uncomfortable, and just as I was about to break it, Hayner did instead.

"What was it that you called the asshole?" He asked curiously.

"I called him Squall." I said, making a face at the thought of the scarred brunette.

"Why?" He asked.

"Because that's his name." I said softly.

"Aerith said his name is Leon." He pointed out. "No one ever said anything about Squall."

"His name is Squall Leonhart." I said, feeling a little sick upon realizing that I wasn't sure how I was so sure of that fact.

"How do you know?" He asked.

I shrugged. "I don't, I guess. It's just…it's the same feeling I got about Roxas. Only…I had some vague memories of Roxas…but with Squall, I have no memory of knowing him at all. I just know that his name is Squall Leonhart, and he's a fucking asshole."

"That's weird." Hayner decided, taking a thoughtful bite of his sandwich.

"Everything is weird, lately." I scoffed as I shoved the last of my sandwich into my mouth.

He nodded, holding up a finger to indicate that he had something to say once he'd swallowed. He did. "Maybe it's all interconnected, y'know? I mean, he seemed to remember _you_ , right? Maybe all that virtual world stuff made something funny happen in the real world, too."

"I dunno…maybe." I sighed, slipping my beanie off and running a hand through my hair. "I fucking hate all this confusing shit."

"Hmm." Hayner grunted acquiescently, leaning back in his chair.

"—And I'm telling you: magic had absolutely nothing to do with that confounded piece of machinery!" An old, crackling voice practically shrieked as the door opened. It belonged to an ancient gentleman wearing a blue dress (well, probably a robe, but what the fuck ever) and a pointed blue hat, which coupled with his long silver beard and bushy gray eyebrows nearly hid the rest of his wizened face. He was arguing with a grouchy looking, slightly younger than middle-aged man with cropped blonde hair and scowling blue eyes. The second man wore a light blue t-shirt and green army pants, a brown jacket tied around his waist and a pair of goggles strapped across his forehead.

"Of course it had something to do with it!" The second man snapped gruffly. "The only time computers screw up this badly is when some sort of magic is involved!"

"Hrrmph! Computers don't need any help 'screwing up,' as you so crudely put it. They do it just fine themselves, and quite often without any magical interference." The older man said snippily as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Ha!" The other snorted, but was stopped from saying anything more as Aerith entered behind them.

"Gentlemen," She said in that sweet way women say things when they're trying not to sound angry. "Those two sitting over there are Seifer and Hayner. The ones from Twilight Town. Boys, these are my friends Merlin," she motioned to the older man, then at the younger, "and Cid."

"Pleasure." I said, not sure that it was.

"Seifer, Hayner." The old guy, Merlin, nodded jerkily. "Perhaps _you_ can explain. Aerith wasn't very forthcoming."

"I thought _you two_ were the ones explaining shit to _us_." Hayner said with a frown.

"We ain't gonna be able to do that if we don't know what shit we've gotta explain." Cid said. I had the feeling I was going to like him (I tend to get along pretty well with down-to-earth and straightforward people…and quit looking at me like that. Hayner doesn't count).

"We remember this kid named Roxas, but no one else does." I said. "So we're trying to find him, only Aerith says he's dead—or as close to dead as a Nobody can be. And she says we never actually met him since he only existed in an _alternate_ Twilight Town."

"But we _do_ remember him." Hayner piped up. "And we want to know why."

The two newcomers stared at us for a moment.

"Shit." Cid said finally, scratching his head.

"Did Ansem use magic when he created the alternate Twilight Town?" Merlin asked.

"Probably." Cid said, pulling a face at the thought. "He didn't have long to make the damn thing, and most people use magical shortcuts with technology nowadays…stupid bastards…"

"I can't blame them." Merlin sniffed daintily. "Technology is practically useless by itself."

"Why you—" Cid began.

"Cid! Merlin!" Aerith scolded, putting her hands on her hips.

They just snorted at each other like bulls about to charge, then turned away and crossed their arms over their chests.

"I'll have to go talk to Tron to see what Ansem did, exactly." Cid said. "See what magic he used and whatnot. Merlin'll have to tell me what sort of side effects it would have."

"And there are tests that should be done on those two." Merlin added, motioning at Hayner and I.

"Well, save that part for tomorrow." Aerith said, glancing at Hayner as he yawned. "They've had a long, hard day and should get some rest. You can get everything else done so you know what tests to run."

Both men nodded.

"There's something else, too." I said uncertainly. "I don't know if it'll help, or if it has anything to do with what's already going on, but when I met that Leon guy, the name Squall Leonhart popped into my head. It's kind of like what happened with Roxas, only I don't remember anything except his name and the fact that he pisses me off."

"But that's probably just because he punched him." Hayner drawled with a slight scowl.

"Right." I said.

"Interesting." Merlin tapped his chin thoughtfully. "You name wouldn't happen to be Seifer _Almasy_ , would it?"

"Yeah, why?" I asked.

"Very interesting." Merlin said, ignoring me.

"Excuse me, but _what's_ interesting?" Hayner asked.

"I've just remembered something from Ansem's notes." Merlin said. "It might explain why Seifer remembers so much, although I'm afraid it doesn't explain why _you_ do."

Hayner wrinkled his nose.

"I'll have to do some research." Merlin continued, then left with a distracted wave, muttering to himself and wagging a finger at nothing.

"Senile old codger." Cid rolled his eyes, then waved at us. "I'll be back tomorrow with as much as I can figure out tonight." He turned and followed after Merlin at a slow pace. "Stupid old farts and their magic…"

Hayner and I stared at the door for a moment, then looked at each other and burst out laughing.

"What's so funny?" Aerith asked.

Neither of us could answer, our laughter escalating to an almost hysterical pitch. It wasn't really that the two of them had been particularly funny—although they were quite amusing—it was just a…I guess a catharsis. And yeah, I know words like 'catharsis.' I'm a bully, not a fucking idiot, thank you.

Aerith gave us an odd, almost calculating look for a moment, then smiled and shook her head. "Well, if you two are finished with your dinner, I'll show you to your room."

"Room?" I repeated slowly, choking back an errant laugh. "As in, singular? One room?"

"Unless one of you wants to bunk with Leon." She said.

The expressions on our faces must have been answer enough, because she giggled and motioned at us to follow her.

We did, and were led to a small room with a double bed, a rocking chair, and a chest of drawers.

"You can share the bed, or I can get some blankets and extra pillows." Aerith said.

"We'll share." I said before Hayner could answer, causing both of them to give me a funny look. "We don't know where this little 'adventure' is gonna take us, so we should have a _real_ good night's sleep in a bed before we go. Sleeping on the floor would make us tense and shit."

"Just don't kick me off." Hayner said with a short laugh, sliding his vest off his shoulders and tossing it onto the edge of the rocking chair. He plopped heavily down on the bed and kicked off his shoes, yawning and laying down. "Night, Aerith."

"Goodnight, guys. Sleep well." She smiled sweetly as she closed the door and hummed as she walked down the hall.

I sighed a little as I took off my jacket, boots, and socks. After a short debate with myself, I stripped off my shirt, as well, throwing it in the general direction of the chair. I then sat on the bed, cracking my neck and shoulders loudly before I lay down on my back and closed my eyes.

"Did you really paint it?" Hayner asked suddenly. He was on his stomach, arms stuffed under his pillow, and when I opened my eyes to look at him I could just make out his face in the darkness.

"Yeah."

"Didn't know you were such an artist." He said, his voice strangely monotone—like it couldn't decide what emotion to convey.

"That's not an accident." I said. "If my dad found out…" I grimaced, though Hayner couldn't see it. "Let's just say you would probably never see me again."

"But you're _good_." He protested.

"Yeah, but only nancy boys who can't deal with their emotions in a _normal_ way paint." I said, mimicking the mocking tones my father used when he talked about art. "Like drinking yourself to death is a much better way to deal with them."

"Isn't your dad still alive?" He asked.

"I'm just waiting for the day I wake up and find him dead with a bottle in his hand." I said. "Damn drunk son of a bitch."

"Why's he hate it so much?"

I shrugged. "Dunno. He's never _liked_ it, but he used to tolerate it since my mom is the one that taught me. Then when my mom died…" I trailed off for a moment. "I've never been sure if he started getting so bitchy about it because it reminded him of her, or because she just wasn't around to defend me anymore. Maybe a little bit of both."

"Oh." He said. "And…what're you _supposed_ to be doing?"

"Struggling." I spat out. "I enjoy it well enough, don't get me wrong, it just pisses me off that he thinks forcing me to Struggle all the time is gonna change me. Like, at all. Real men Struggle, Seifer, they don't go around painting daisies and calling it a masterpiece."

"What a douche." He said. "No wonder you're such a dick."

I couldn't help but laugh. "That's probably part of it."

"And what's the other part?" He asked.

"I fucking enjoy pissing you off." I taunted.

"Ass." He said, though he didn't sound completely serious about it.

"We've already established that, lamer." I said. "Now go the fuck to sleep or I _will_ kick you out of the damn bed."

He mumbled something that I couldn't make out, and a few moments later I heard light snores coming from his side of the bed. Hayner _would_ be one of those lucky bastards that can fall asleep anywhere, anytime.

I wasn't nearly so lucky, but somehow I managed to drift off a mere half hour or so later, vaguely wondering if this was going to be the last good night's sleep I would get for a while.


	5. Inclino

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inclino (to bend, incline, turn, change; fall back, waver)

" _It's a thief in the night to come and grab you. It can creep up inside you and consume you. A disease of the mind, it can control you—I feel like a monster." –Rihanna, 'Disturbia'_

When I woke up, I was hot.

And no, I'm not bragging (this time) or being perverse (…this time). I mean that I felt like someone had draped at least ten thick blankets overtop of me, and then cranked the heater up to some god-fucking-awful hot temperature. The source of the heat, though, was behind me. My tired mind reasoned that Fran, my old St. Bernard, had probably crawled into bed with me.

And then the fog in my head cleared enough for me to realize that Fran couldn't _possibly_ be lying behind me because she was on an _entirely different fucking world_.

I jerked the rest of the way awake and started to pull away from whatever it was lying behind me. I froze a moment later, though, when it whimpered and moved closer, callused hands curling against my back as if imploring me not to leave.

Slowly, carefully, I rolled over, then sighed with relief.

It was just Hayner.

But as I looked at him, wondering how I should move him away (more like wondering if I wanted to just shove him off and deal with his bitching, or try to do it without waking him up), he began to shiver. His hands fisted between our chests, his lips became tinged with blue, and his cheeks and nose flushed a little as if he had just been plunged into a tub of ice.

"Hayner?" I put a hand on his shoulder, but almost immediately pulled away as I found it so cold that it actually _burned_ my hand.

His eyelids squeezed even tighter together and he groaned, rolling even closer to me. As he did that, I caught sight of one of those weird shadow things huddled over something pink, which it was slowly coaxing out of his back.

I let out a surprised yelp and punched at it, though my hand did little to no damage. "Aerith!" I yelled as I all but fell out of bed. "Aerith, come quick!"

I drew my fist back for a second punch, but hesitated as I felt a new but familiar weight settle into it. Without thinking about it, I brought the new weapon around and stabbed down, the gun-like sword skewering the little monster. It exploded into that strange collection of balls again, and Hayner sighed as the pink shape—a heart, I realized with a sick feeling in my stomach—reentered his back. His eyes fluttered open, glowing a sinister yellow color for a moment before returning to their normal warm cinnamon hue. He shuddered once and then threw himself at me, wrapping his arms around me shakily as he struggled for air.

Aerith and Leon chose this moment to finally burst into the room. Aerith was holding a wooden staff in front of her threateningly, while Leon was wielding a sword similar to the one that was currently sheathed in the bed.

"What happened?" Leon asked.

Hayner let out a relieved, yet still somehow frightened, sob; like a child that had just woken from a nightmare. "It was s-so c-c-cold." He mumbled into my chest, teeth chattering.

"One of those…those _things_ was attacking Hayner!" I said, wrapping my arms around the boy in question. "It was trying to steal his heart!"

"A heartless?" Aerith gasped. "Here?"

"That's what those shadow things are?" I asked. "They're those heartless things you were talking about earlier?"

"If it was trying to steal his heart, yes." Leon said, then caught sight of my sword. "Hyperion?"

"It's mine." I blurted, grabbing it and yanking it out of the bed without letting go of Hayner.

"How did you get that?" He demanded.

"I just wanted to kill that heartless fucker and it came to me." I said defensively. "I dunno how or why."

"Leon, don't." Aerith said, putting a hand on his arm. Then she looked at Hayner. "Are you alright, Hayner?"

Hayner nodded jerkily. "Just a little freaked out." He said with a faint smile, not moving away from me. "I'll be okay."

"You sure, chickenwuss?" I asked.

He nodded again, steadier this time, and stepped out of my embrace. "I'm alright. Thanks."

"Sure." I said, thought I was a little skeptical. He was still very pale. But I didn't push, instead turning to Aerith and asking what time it was.

"It's about eight." She said. "I'm going to go make breakfast. Leon," she looked at the older man, who looked like he was about ready to start firing off more questions about Hyperion. "Why don't you go see where Cid and Merlin are while Seifer and Hayner freshen up?"

Leon pursed his lips together, eying Hyperion for a moment more, then nodded and left without another word.

"What's his problem?" Hayner asked, voicing my thoughts.

"Leon doesn't like being confused." She explained. "And between you two appearing and that heartless popping up out of nowhere…well, things are getting _really_ confusing."

"Basically, he has a stick up his ass." I summed it up, rolling my eyes.

Aerith shook her head, stifling a giggle. "Well, the bathroom is down the hall on the right, and there are extra towels in the closet across the hall from it. Just yell if you need anything." She said, then turned and left.

As soon as the door had closed, Hayner practically collapsed onto the bed and put his head in his hands, looking rather nauseous.

"Chickenwuss?" I put a hand on his back.

He shook his head wordlessly.

"You…want me to get Aerith?" I asked. I didn't know what else to do—I was damn horrible at dealing with people.

"No." He said quickly, looking up at me. His eyes flashed yellow.

I jerked back a little, startled. "Lamer, you—"

"I'm okay." He insisted. "But…but I think I'm starting to figure out what's going on. And I think it goes beyond us and Roxas and Sora."

"Yeah?" I sat next to him warily and rested Hyperion on the edge of the bed beside me.

"When that…that thing…when it was…you know." He said with difficulty. "My heart…I felt…I felt like they do."

"Whaddya mean?" I asked.

"I was becoming one of them." He began shivering again and wrapped his arms around himself. "They have a shared memory. Not a shared conscious—they move separately. They don't have any sort of method to them. But any memories that they have are collected into one central memory bank. It was…overwhelming."

I nodded thoughtfully as I pulled the blanket up and draped it around his shoulders. "Okay, so?"

"They…they remember me." His voice was small as his hands clutched at the blanket. "I…used to be one of them, I think. Before…before everything."

"But you aren't one anymore." I said.

"Right. Only, they're trying to get me to come back again." He said. "I remembered…before you killed it and saved me, I remember seeing the Queen yelling at them to bring me back. I was…I was supposed to do something, but I failed, and they've just now been able to come after me again. I…I think you were stopping them before."

"I don't understand what in the fuck you just said." I said.

He blinked at me.

"Firstly, who's the Queen?" I asked.

He shrugged. "She's the one that controls them. They collect hearts for her—they think she'll let them keep one someday, but she never did until she let me do it. But the only reason she did that was because she needed me to do something. Now she wants it back."

"Okay." I said slowly. "Do you remember what you were supposed to be doing?"

He shook his head. "It had something to do with Roxas. I think I was supposed to get him away from you, but I don't remember why. And I don't remember what I was supposed to do once I'd gotten him away from you, or any of that."

"Well, that might explain why we hate each other." I joked weakly.

"I guess." He murmured.

"Okay, so…what did you mean, I was stopping them?"

"I…I don't remember." He squeezed his eyes shut, as if that would help him think. "You're important, I think, but…but I can't remember…I can't…"

"Hey, don't worry about it." I said. "It's not a big deal. Look, maybe something Cid or Merlin says will help you remember. And besides that…" I paused for a moment, not sure if I wanted to continue. "I'll…I'll keep you safe, okay? That heart is yours now, and that Queen bitch can't have it back. You aren't her slave. If you were, you wouldn't have told me any of this stuff and you would remember everything."

He nodded.

"I'm gonna go take a shower, okay?" I stood, grabbing my vest and jacket. "Will you be alright by yourself, lamer?"

He gave me a dry look. "I don't need you to take care of me, you know."

"Wouldn't know it from the way you were holding onto me earlier." I said, inwardly relieved that he was returning to normal. "You're a regular damsel in distress."

"You fucking wish." He said, our banter coming easily to him.

"You _do_ make a pretty girl." I mused, eyeing him.

"Fuck you, Seifer." He said, flipping me off.

I smirked at him. "Trust me, chickenwuss: if it ever came to _that_ , I would be the one fucking _you_." I said.

He started, eyes wide, and flushed as the full implications of my statement came clear to him.

Actually, I think I was blushing a little, too. Why in the hell had I said that…?

Too embarrassed to wait around for his reply, I ducked out of the room and into the bathroom, quickly stripping down and climbing into the shower.

Once I had gotten over being mortified by my sudden and unprecedented flirtatiousness (with my _rival_ , for fuck's sake…shit, bad wording), my thoughts turned to the conversation before that.

Turning the new information over in my head a few times, I came to this conclusion:

What.

The.

 _Fuck?_


	6. Expositum

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Expositum (to set forth, explain, expose)

" _When my head is strong, but my heart is weak…I'm full of arrogance and uncertainty, but I can find the words, you teach my heart to speak—you make it real for me." –James Morrison, 'You Make it Real'_

Once both of us had finished getting ready, we went downstairs to the kitchen. Cid and Merlin were already there, arguing vehemently in technical terms that I doubted even _they_ understood. Aerith was sighing and rolling her eyes at them while simultaneously serving them breakfast, apparently knowing that trying to break them up would do no good. (Kind of like when Hayner and I fought, probably.)

Aerith smiled at us when she saw us in the doorway.

"Good morning, boys." She said, interrupting the argument. "Are you feeling better?"

"Maybe after I eat something." I grumbled, still a little groggy in spite of my shower. My stomach growled its agreement, causing Aerith to giggle.

"Alright, then, sit down. There's bacon and toast already made, and I'm finishing up another batch of scrambled eggs now. I can make something else if you want it, though."

"Sounds good to me." I said, sinking into a seat and piling some food onto the nearest clean-ish looking plate.

"Hayner?"

"…Do you have pancakes?" Hayner asked hesitantly. Though he seemed to have recovered from his episode earlier, it sounded like he still wasn't comfortable with anything just yet.

Aerith's face filled with a sort of apologetic sympathy. "We just ran out of pancake mix yesterday, and I haven't had time to buy anymore."

"You just make the eggs." I stood back up. "Pancakes happen to be one of my many specialties; you have all-purpose flour?"

"Seifer, you don't have to—" Hayner began.

"Chickenwuss, sit the fuck down, shut the fuck up, and get the fuck over it before I shove this griddle up your ass and burn the lame out of you." I said. "If I didn't want to make the goddamn pancakes, I sure as hell wouldn't have volunteered."

That was apparently the right thing to say, because Hayner puffed up into his 'pissed off mode,' which looked something like an angry kitten (in other words: he looked cuter than he did threatening). "Yeah? Well who said I even wanted your lousy pancakes anyhow, dick face?"

"I did, and you'll eat 'em and like 'em." I snapped, simultaneously waving a spatula at him and mixing all of the ingredients together (because, yeah, I'm that damn good).

"You gonna make me?" He asked, chin tilted up into a challenging look.

"You think I won't?" I asked.

"I think you _can't_." He corrected.

"And you think _you're_ gonna stop me?" I sneered. "You couldn't stop a sleeping chocobo, lamer."

"Boys." Aerith finally broke in, giving us a stern look.

"Yeah, yeah." I said, not really minding (for once) that someone had stopped our argument. Instead of continuing, I turned to Cid and Merlin. "So what'd you find out?"

"The codger thinks you shouldn't exist." Cid said without missing a beat.

Hayner blanched.

Merlin glared. "I do not think they shouldn't exist." He said, obviously raring to go for a fight.

"Don't argue, or I'll throw bacon grease on you." I said.

They gave me a look as if to say 'like you're one to talk,' but seemed to realize that I was only halfway joking.

"Just tell me what in the fuck you know." I added when they stayed quiet for a moment longer, stuck between actually answering or trying to test my patience.

"Hmph." Merlin said with the air of someone unimpressed with the younger generations. "I don't think either of you are supposed to exist _as you are_." He explained, giving Cid a sharp look. "I'm not entirely sure about Hayner, but I am almost completely sure that you," he pointed at me, "were working for Ansem."

"Which means…what exactly?" Hayner asked.

"It means that the Seifer you see isn't the real Seifer." The jackass—I mean Leon said as he entered the house, a hand on his hip. "Or rather, that he's a very much changed Seifer." He looked me over and snorted. "Well, maybe not all that changed."

"Fuck off." I snapped, then looked back at Merlin. "You were saying?"

"Well…hm." Merlin frowned. "It's a bit difficult to explain."

"Just gimme the basic facts." I said.

"Alright." Merlin shrugged. "When your world was destroyed—"

"Not that basic." I interrupted. "What world was my world?"

"Balamb Gardens." Leon said. "Same as me."

"In that case, to hell with it." I decided immediately, more out of spite than what I actually felt about it.

"Ahem." Merlin cleared his throat loudly before Leon could start yelling, which he looked two hops and a skip away from doing. "When your world was destroyed by the darkness, the survivors were scattered."

"Who survived?" Angry that he was probably the only person present who could answer me, I looked at Leon.

"As far as I know, only us." Leon said, almost (almost) apologetically. "I don't know about anyone else…Rinoa, Zell, Raijin, Fuujin…I didn't even know _you_ were still alive to piss people off until you popped out of the computer."

"Rai and Fuu are in Twilight Town." I said. "But they don't seem to remember anything."

"They aren't the Raijin and Fuujin from your world." Merlin said. "Ansem created them to be with you."

"Because no one in Twilight Town's stupid enough to befriend a prick like you." Hayner said.

I threw an unopened stick of margarine at him. "Shut the fuck up, lamer."

"You're just pissed because it's true." Hayner retorted, blowing a raspberry at me as he rubbed the side of his head where the margarine hit.

"I could have made friends if I'd wanted to." I said petulantly.

"Actually, you couldn't." Merlin said.

Hayner let out a barking laugh, and I half wished I hadn't already thrown the margarine at him (anything else was either being used or too dangerous to throw with Aerith around to force me to clean up the bloodstains).

"You were under specific orders to befriend no one except for Rai and Fuu." Merlin continued, ignoring us. "The spells Ansem used were rather fragile, and close contact—emotional contact in particular—with any of the true citizens of Twilight Town would have disrupted them. He was very lucky that Roxas' friendship with Olette and Pence didn't disrupt them."

"But…but why?" Hayner asked before Merlin could continue.

"Why, what, my boy?" Merlin asked.

"Why'd Seifer agree to do it?" He asked. "I mean, he's an asshole, so he sure as hell didn't do it out of the goodness of his heart."

"Fuck you, too, lamer." I grumbled as I flipped the pancakes—which I was making out of the goodness of my goddamn heart, thank you very fucking much!

Merlin hesitated, then pulled a stack of papers out of his sleeve. After staring at him oddly for a moment, I remembered he was a _wizard_.

"I have Ansem's notes on the subject—the man was very meticulous in his note taking." Merlin said as he thumbed through the stack thoughtfully. He finally pulled a small pile of papers out, scanning them quickly. "Ah, here it is. It says…oh. Oh, my, how sad."

"What's sad?" Hayner and I asked in unison.

Merlin began reading aloud. " _While looking for recruits to assist me in my project today, I came upon a young man. He was laughing and crying at the same time—a bit hysterical, I think—and when I asked him why, he said that it must have been cosmic irony. He spent all of his life trying to be strong, but he was too weak to do anything useful when his strength had finally been called upon. In the end, he said, it had been his friends that he'd really needed, and he had just realized that he didn't have any. And any that he might once have had…were gone._ "

No one spoke for a long time, though I could feel them looking at me.

Finally, Merlin interrupted the silence, clearing his throat. He continued reading, " _I told him about the project, and that his memories would be heavily suppressed in the process. When he agreed, I warned him that he would not be allowed any true human contact while working for me. But all he said was—_ "

"There's no point in having friends if you can't even protect them." I said, nearly choking on the words as they sprang into my head and out of my mouth. I rubbed at one of my eyes with my free hand viciously, willing away the headache that was forming. "Shit." Hoping to overcome the awkwardness I was feeling as quickly as possible—I've never dealt well with emotions of any sort—I pushed forward. "And what, exactly, was I supposed to be doing?"

Merlin shrugged, seeming relieved that we had moved back into more comfortable topics of discussion. "I'm not entirely sure. I believe that mostly you were there to ensure that Roxas had as normal an experience as possible. Also, Hyperion," He nodded at my gunblade, which was propped up against the wall, "was charmed to ward the heartless away from Twilight Town. I suppose that when you and Hayner left, the charm was broken, which enabled it to come to you when you needed it this morning."

"No, the charm must have broken before that." Hayner said with a slight frown. "We ran into a heartless in the Mansion."

"The charm was probably _weak_ , since the alternate Twilight Town was destroyed and Ansem died." Merlin said. "But I think there would have been far more than just one heartless if it had been completely broken before you left."

Hayner sucked in a sharp breath of air. "You don't think they—"

"They're after you, remember, chickenwuss?" I cut him off. "Twilight's fine for now."

"What do you mean: they're after him?" Leon asked.

I scowled at him. "None of your fucking business."

"It _is_ my business if heartless start showing up here again." The older man growled.

"They won't stay once we've left, dumbass." I snapped.

"You don't know that; they're heartless." He said.

"Look, _Leon_ , or Squall, or whatever in the hell your name is," I said as I shoved the pancakes onto a plate. "Even if I knew what in the hell was going on, it wouldn't stop any of this shit from happening. Those…sons of bitches would still be going after Hayner, and there's jack shit you can do about it, alright? All we want to do right now is figure out what in the hell is up with all the shit that's happening right now, and then we'll be on our merry little fucking way. And consequently, all _you_ can do is hope I'm right and beat the fuckers back if I'm not. So please, _please_ , just shut your goddamn annoying mouth, would you?"

"Seifer, would you just calm down? We _really_ don't need this right now." Hayner said.

"I can't calm down! I don't even know why I'm fucking angry!" I said, ripping my beanie off and running a hand through my hair.

"I can give you two good reasons." He said with a smirk, holding up two fingers. "One, you just found out you're not you. Second," he pointed at Leon before continuing, "he's an asshole and could try even Olette's patience." His smirk widened. "And gods know you don't have any patience at all."

I deflated, muttering darkly as I slipped into a chair and slid the plate of pancakes across to him. "Just eat, chickenwuss."

He didn't eat them, instead picking at them with his fork as he suddenly sobered up. "At least you know you're supposed to exist, even if you, y'know, got changed around a little."

"And what happened to believing that everything has a purpose, huh?" I demanded. "You're supposed to exist, too, lamer—"

"Not like _this_." He said, waving a hand at himself. "I'm not _real_ , Seifer. I'm not…" He trailed off and stood, looking a little green. "Shit, I think I'm gonna be sick."

"You just don't get it, do you?" I asked, grabbing his arm as he tried to run past me to the bathroom.

"Get what?" He asked. He really did sound like he was about to blow chunks.

"Right now…right now, you're the only thing that's real to me." I said, standing.

"I'm _not_ real!" He said. "Once the Queen…"

"You're real because I damn well say you are." I snapped, shoving him up against the wall. "Get me, chickenwuss? _You're all I have._ My world is gone and whatever existence I had in Twilight Town is _bullshit_ —I don't have _anyone_ but you! I mean, maybe I've got that little shit," I jerked a thumb at Leon, "but not only do we _obviously_ not get along, he's already fucking moved past me! He has a new life and I'm not in the damn thing! And _my_ new life is _nothing_. It's a goddamn _farce_. Right now you're the only thing I've got, and I'll be damned if some bitch with a crown and a God complex is taking that away from me."

"Well then you're probably damned." He said, looking like he was about to cry. "Because I get the feeling nobody's gonna get a choice in this."

"Oh, fuck you." I said, releasing him roughly. "You spout all this shit about how you don't believe in coincidences, and then one little bump comes along and you give up. Shit, maybe you're just not the real Hayner, because the Hayner I know wouldn't let anyone rule his life, Queen or not."

"One little bump?" He asked incredulously.

"Yeah. One little fucking bump. Think about it: we were basically programmed to hate each other, right? And then, somehow, this weird _thing_ we're involved in fucks up, and we're the only ones effected? We have to travel together all of a sudden, and we end up going to exactly the right place to get where we are now, so we can find out what's going on? Shit, lamer, something really fucking huge is going on here, and we're part of it. Hell, we're frigging _central_ to the whole thing. And now you wanna back out of it because some narcissistic bitch is trying to…to…do whatever in the fuck she's trying to do to you?"

"We don't know that I was supposed to do anything but help you get here." He said. "Maybe that's the only part I'm supposed to play in this."

"Yeah, well you don't know that. All you can do is keep trying your damn hardest."

"But I—"

I threw my hands up with an annoyed sound. "Fuck it. Just fuck it." I snapped, grabbing Hyperion and heading for the door. "I'm going for a fucking walk."

"Seifer—" He began.

"No. Forget it. You're too much of a goddamn pussy to deal with this, so fuck you. I don't need you any fucking way." I said, throwing open the door.

"I…"

"Why don't you just go back that to Queen bitch and leave me the fuck alone?" I asked, then stepped out and slammed the door shut behind me.

I scowled at the door for a moment, wondering if it would be worth it to go back in and beat some damn sense into Hayner, but decided against it and turned, freezing immediately.

A veritable sea of those creepy yellow eyes blinked up at me.


	7. Tentatio onis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tentatio-onis (trial, attack, duration, temptation, judgment)

" _This may never start, tearing out my heart; I'd be your memory. Lost your sense of fear (I'd be your memory), feelings disappear…can I be your memory? So get back, back, back to where we lasted, just like I imagine, I could never feel this way. So get back, back, back to the disaster, my heart's beating faster, holding on to feel the same." –Sugarcult, 'Memory'_

"Shit." I said as a heartless—a gigantic fucker that looked far more human than a heartless should—brought itself up to its full height. Not eager to find out what it planned to do, I turned around and wrenched the door open. I found myself face-to-face with a surprised Hayner, who blinked at me before his eyes widened, seeing what was behind me. I started to push him back inside, but could only cry out as the giant heartless grabbed me, startling me into dropping Hyperion. "Shi-i-it!"

"Oh my goodness!" Aerith exclaimed behind Hayner.

I tried to yell at my gunblade, in hopes that it would come when summoned, but instead yelled, "Hayner, run!"

He looked like he wanted to, but the little chickenwuss was too stubborn or proud or something to listen to whatever common sense there was in this sort of situation. Instead, he grabbed Hyperion from where I had dropped it, obviously intending to fight as the others surged out of the house behind him.

"I said run, you fucking idi-oh!" I yelped as this huge-ass sword flew out of nowhere and cut off the heartless' arm, sending me and it to the ground. The arm dissipated; I bruised my ass.

"Here." Hayner grabbed one of my hands and yanked me to my feet, pushing Hyperion into the hand he had helped me up with and crouching into a fighting stance. "Let's kick some heartless ass, shall we?"

"You're a dumbass, you know that?" I rolled my eyes as we went back to back, facing the circle of heartless that had surrounded us.

"And you're a smart ass." He retorted. "We make a good pair, yeah?"

Before I could answer, he threw himself into the heartless, pummeling them. Now, don't tell the lamer I told you so, but he can fight damn well with his fists. He's shit with a Struggle Bat, mind you, and I could always beat him when I had one, but when it was a hand-to-hand battle I'll admit that he was better than me. Mostly. Whenever I won those, it was due to sheer brute force or the fact that he lost his head when he got pissed. I was better at channeling my anger than him.

In any case, the point of all that is to let you know that he kicked the shit out of those heartless bastards without needing any sort of weapon to help. The rest of us did, however…though I'm not sure if Merlin's magic could be considered a weapon, technically.

But that's not important.

What's important, though it rather pains me to recall it, is what happened a few minutes after the battle began.

As I was fighting one of the more humanoid heartless—not one of the big ones, but the ones Aerith called 'Neoshadows'—I heard Hayner yell for me to look out. As I whipped around, ready to take out whatever was attacking me, a blur appeared out of nowhere. A giant fucking key buried itself in the attacking Neoshadow's head, and it exploded like the heartless did whenever you destroyed them with a cloud of smoke and a disappearing heart.

I looked at the person who had thrown it, but the spiky cinnamon locks and friendly smile were almost immediately replaced by windswept blonde hair and an angry scowl. The sight of the person who had set this whole mess into motion struck me immobile for a moment, and that moment was all it took for a heartless to skewer me from behind.

I screamed, my back arching as the area surrounding the heartless' hand burned with a cold that spread throughout the rest of my body so quickly as to seem instantaneous. I half-blacked out, disoriented as memories began to impose themselves on me; things I had most definitely never seen before, in this life or the life I had led pre-Ansem.

Through the pain of the attack, I could see one of the Neoshadows shifting and morphing into Hayner, accepting a heart with a greedy smile on his face before it melted into the easy smirk I knew so well. Along with some instructions that I couldn't hear (as it turns out, the heartless are deaf), he was given a small blue marble, which I realized with a start was one of the crystals from the Struggle Trophy. Then Hayner disappeared, and the memories shifted into broken ones of the kid who was and wasn't Roxas attacking countless heartless with that giant key weapon of his, then to an angry boy with silver hair, and—

Then, suddenly, I gasped as the memories were abruptly pushed out of my mind. I coughed and choked as my body struggled to reorient, shivering so uncontrollably that I couldn't breathe. I felt someone put a blanket around me, followed by a set of arms, and I practically threw myself into the soothing warmth the embrace provided. People talked around me, the voices sounding borderline frantic, but I couldn't make out the words. I was shaking too hard, my teeth chattering and causing a steady, noisy commotion in my head.

"Shit." I finally said, stuttering a bit since I still hadn't managed to warm up.

"He's talking!" Someone said.

"You think?" Hayner's voice drawled. "You okay, Seifer?"

I muttered something, burrowing further into the warm grip of whoever was holding me. Later, the fact that I had done something so vulnerable would rankle, but at the time I was too focused on getting warm to care.

"Yeah…how about repeating that so that humans can hear? Goofy isn't around, so that whole 'talking so softly only dogs can understand you' thing isn't gonna work, dumbass."

"I said: no I'm not damn well okay, because I feel like someone dumped me in a fucking pool of goddamn ice, you shit headed son of a bitch. 'M fucking _cold_."

"Does he always curse this much?" Someone asked. This is a different someone from the first someone, mind you—I got the feeling there were several of them.

"Only when he's pissed off." Hayner said. "Which, admittedly, is most of the time."

"Shut the fuck up." I finally pulled away from whoever it was holding me, shaking my head and blinking my eyes open and closed rapidly to try and clear them. "Inconsiderate bastards."

"Better now?"

I glanced at Hayner, who was the one who had been hugging me. His head was cocked to one side as he regarded me worriedly, and I stifled my instinct to burrow myself in his arms again.

"I," I drew myself up huffily, "fucking _hate_ being cold."

Hayner snorted. "If that's all you have to say, you're fine. Idiot." He shoved Hyperion at me. "Here's your damn sword."

I frowned at the gunblade. There was something niggling at the corner of my mind. A sword? No, but something similar to it. A…a bat? A Struggle bat?

"The Struggle Trophy!" I blurted as the heartless memory rushed back into my head.

"Excuse me?" Aerith asked, since I had been facing her when I remembered.

"The fucking Trophy!" I said, like she was supposed to know what in the hell I was talking about. I looked around wildly for a moment before I saw who I was looking for—the boy who wasn't Roxas (and whose name I kept forgetting). "You! What's your name?"

"…What?" He asked, blinking, obviously startled.

"Your name, you stupid shit!" I said. "What the fuck is it?"

"Sora!" He said, still looking stuck between confused and flabbergasted.

"Yeah, Sora." I said. "You still have that crystal from the Struggle Trophy I gave you?"

"…Yeah, why?" He asked suspiciously.

"Do you have it with you?" I demanded.

"Yes." He said slowly.

"Do you have the one from the alternate Twilight Town, too?"

"How do you know about—?"

"Don't ask me fucking questions! Do you have the damn crystal what-the-fuck, or don't you?"

"Yes, yes, here!" He said, pulling a pouch out of his pocket and fishing around in it for a moment. He pulled out the crystal (how he knew it was the one I was talking about when it was a perfect replica of the other, I don't know) and threw it at me.

"Seifer? The fuck?" Hayner asked.

I ignored him, standing and tossing the crystal up into the air before slicing it in half with Hyperion. The two halves glowed for a moment, then turned black and fell to the ground, shattering upon impact.

No one spoke for a moment.

"Yeah, that? That was weird." A girl with red hair, wearing a pink dress with a god awful amount of zippers, broke the silence. "Like… _really_ weird."

"What exactly was that?" Asked a guy with long silvery hair.

"That…was me, destroying a crystal that may or may not have been cursed." I said evasively.

"Seifer." Hayner said. "How did you know to destroy it?"

"It…when that thing…when it…y'know." Damn, it really was hard to talk about that shit—Hayner hadn't just been acting like his usual lame self. "I saw it. Up here." I tapped my head, none too articulate. "The Queen gave it to you after she gave you a heart, so I figured it was bad, right?"

Hayner shrugged. "Probably. I don't really remember anything about…about _before_."

"Before what?" A guy with spiky blonde hair not unlike Sora's (well, besides the fact that it was blonde, of course) asked.

I stared at him. "Maybe…introductions, first?" I asked, waving a hand at him and the other two newcomers.

"Oh! I'm sorry, how rude of us not to introduce anyone." Aerith said. "They already met Hayner. Seifer, you know Sora, of course, so these are his best friends, Kairi and Riku. And this is one of my dearest friends, Cloud."

"Right, okay. You came to Twilight Town for a while, right?" I asked Kairi.

She nodded, frowning a little. "Not by choice, but…yeah."

"Enough distractions." Leon said. "What, exactly, is going on with you two? I know what's up with you, mostly." He pointed at me. "But the rest of it…"

"We don't know, exactly." I said. "I mean, neither of us remembers a lot from before we were in Twilight Town. We remember some from the other Twilight Town, but…" I shrugged.

"You already told us where Seifer came from." Hayner said, twiddling his fingers together the way he always did when he was nervous (don't ask why I know that). "But we…we found out where I'm from this morning. When I…when that heartless attacked me."

"You want me to tell it?" I asked. He was trembling again; not as bad as either of us had been at first, but still trembling.

He nodded jerkily, wrapping his arms around himself.

"Hayner…Hayner's a heartless." I said.

"What?" Everyone around me yelled.

" _Was_ a heartless." I corrected myself. "He doesn't remember it, not really, but when those things start stealing your heart…they have a shared memory, and you start sharing it, too. I don't know what he saw, but it was enough for him to know what he is. I saw him getting a heart from the Queen and then she gave him that crystal to give to Roxas."

"But he didn't give it to Roxas." The silver haired kid, Riku, pointed out. "He put it on the Struggle Trophy. Right?"

I gave him a dry look. "Roxas is—was—the Keyblade Master's Nobody, right? So of course he would win the Tournament, dumbass. All Hayner had to do was make sure Roxas _entered_ the Tournament and took the crystal off of the Trophy."

"That's why I got so upset when it seemed like he forgot." Hayner said, blanching.

"It's not your fault, chickenwuss. It—"

"How isn't it my fault, Seifer?" He asked. "I chose to be this…this… _whatever_ I am!" He squeezed his eyes shut, tears streaking down his face. "Shit, I don't even know what I _am_."

"You're a _person_." I said.

"No, I'm not!" He said. "I'm a heartless!" He laughed bitterly. "I'm not even one of those, am I? I mean, I didn't know what I was doing to Roxas the whole time I was doing it! I could still be working for her and I wouldn't have any idea! I could be trying to kill you, or—or something else and I wouldn't know until it was too late!" He jerked suddenly and clamped a hand over his mouth. "I…I think I'm gonna be sick."

He stumbled to the sink and vomited, coughing and crying as he continued to gag, dry heaving when what little breakfast he'd been able to eat was gone.

No one said anything as I walked over to him and put a hand on his back.

"Lamer."

He hiccuped loudly.

"Hayner, look at me." I said, moving my hand up to his shoulder and squeezing it when he didn't look.

Finally, he glanced at me, hiccuping again. "What?"

"D'you want to kill me?" I asked.

He balked. "No! Of course I don't! I don't want to kill _anyone_!" He insisted.

"Then you won't." I said. "You don't have to do anything you don't want to do, okay?"

"I'm not gonna have a choice, Seifer!" He said.

"You _always_ have a choice." I snapped. "And I have the scars to prove that you have _never_ done anything you didn't want to do, no matter who told you to do it."

"I got Roxas into the Struggle Tournament, didn't I?" He asked sullenly.

"Yeah, because you love Struggling even if you suck at it. _I_ could have told you to enter that tournament and you'd have done it, because when you _want_ to do something you'll do it no matter what. And when you _don't_ want to do something you don't do it no matter what." I said. "You made Roxas enter the tournament because he's your best friend, which is also why you got upset when he forgot. It had nothing to do with you being an ex-heartless."

"But I—"

"Nothing. To do. With. It." I repeated. "So suck it the fuck up, lamer, because I am _not_ wiping your damn nose every time you decide to wallow in self-pity, got me?"

He hiccuped again, sniffled, and nodded, strangely subdued in spite of my barbed words.

I opened my mouth to say something else, hoping to get him out of this sudden (though not surprising) funk he had gone into, when my stomach let out a loud, demanding growl. My mouth snapped shut again as I blushed ever so slightly.

"I'll make brunch!" Aerith said with forced cheerfulness, gathering up the still food-laden plates. "I don't think anyone got much breakfast, and this food's already cold."

I reached forward and turned on the water, wrinkling my nose at the remaining bile in the sink.

"I have a question." Riku asked as Hayner and I sat down. "Who is this 'Queen' person you were talking about? The one that gave Hayner a heart and all?"

We exchanged a glance, then shrugged.

"All I know is that she apparently controls the heartless, somehow." I said. "They call her the Queen."

"The only person I know of who controls the heartless was Maleficent." Sora said, frowning. "But I don't think she actually _controlled_ them, just…directed them, I guess. Guided them."

"The Queen _definitely_ controls them." Hayner said.

"What'd that Maleficent woman look like?" I asked.

"Well…she had green skin and horns, and—"

"That's not the Queen." Hayner and I cut Sora off in unison.

"Here, lemme have a piece of paper and a pencil." I said, accepting them from Cloud when he brought them. I did a quick sketch of the Queen as well as I could remember her: the spiked golden crown, the long cloak with a ridiculously tall collar, the purple dress with exaggerated, fur-lined sleeves, and the statuesque expression that made me feel cold just remembering it. " _This_ is the Queen."

"She's pretty." Kairi said.

"The only thing that's pretty about her is her face." Hayner practically spat, surprising all of us with the acidic tone in his voice. "Even the _heartless_ hate her as much as they can when they don't have hearts. I…I would rip my own heart out and give it to a heartless rather than spend one second near her. She's a monster and I _hate_ her!"

"Don't you think you're overreacting a little?" Leon asked.

"I am _not_ overreacting!" Hayner yelled, his eyes flickering to yellow and then back again. "You have no idea what she's like!"

"And you do?" Leon asked. "I thought you didn't remember anything?"

Hayner let out a frustrated sigh and gave me a helpless look.

"The memories are there." I said. "Just…muffled and scrambled, and you can't…can't just bring them to the forefront of your mind whenever you want to, like with normal memories. You just know…I mean, they're just _there_. And maybe they…maybe they spring forward sometimes, or maybe you know something that you don't remember knowing, or feel something for reasons you don't remember, but that doesn't mean they aren't real. Or there. Or…whatever."

Hayner nodded, drawing his legs up into his chair and wrapping his arms around them. "Can we talk about something else, now? My head's starting to hurt."

Leon snorted, but Aerith took pity on us and changed the subject, asking Sora what he and the other two were doing in Radiant Gardens. I probably should have been listening to the conversation, but I was too busy wondering how long these memories would tumble around in Hayner and my heads before we both went insane.


	8. Fabula

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fabula (fable, story, tale, play)

_"You don't know about my past, and I don't have a future figured out. And maybe this is going too fast; and maybe it's not meant to last—but what do you say to taking chances? What do you say to jumping off the edge? Never knowing if there's solid ground below, or a hand to hold, or hell to pay…what do you say?" –Celine Dion, 'Taking Chances'_

I think it took Hayner and I all of brunch to realize that Sora was the person we had been looking for from the start of our impromptu—and apparently _damned_ —little mission. That is to say, he was Roxas, and Roxas is the person who had started all of this shit.

I also think that we both realized it at the same time, when Aerith offered people ice cream and Sora requested sea salt flavor. Riku said something about him only liking that flavor since he had merged with his Nobody, but Hayner and I had already given each other a wide-eyed look. Basically, these were our thoughts:

' _Holy shit, we are fucking idiots._ '

"You…you're Roxas, right?" Hayner asked, interrupting whatever conversation was going on.

"We aren't the same person." Sora said obstinately, with the air of someone who had had the same conversation several times over and was tiring of it. "He's my Nobody, but…we're not the same at all."

"Obviously." I muttered, but I think Hayner was the only one who heard me judging by the disapproving look that he (and only he) shot my way. I spoke louder next time. "So we found him, lamer. What now?"

"I don't know." Hayner snapped, annoyed. "I didn't…didn't think this far ahead."

"Oh, that's just _great_ , chickenwuss." I said, feeling my infamously short temper begin to rise. "You drag me around to God-knows-where to find some kid who, by all accounts, doesn't even fucking exist, and now you don't know what you wanna fucking _do_? You realize all the trouble you've gotten us into, and for what? Was it all just some sort of weird-ass coincidence after all? I mean, what in the hell did you expect to happen? We would find the little blond shit and go home and live happily ever goddamn after? This isn't a fairy tale, lamer!"

I froze at my own words, something coming together in my mind.

"I know that!" He snapped, but I wasn't listening and he realized that a split second later, his head tilting to one side curiously. "You look like you did when you thought about that crystal."

I opened my mouth to say something, but it just hung there uselessly as my eyes widened.

"Seifer? What is it?" Aerith asked, putting a hand on my shoulder.

"I…" A hand came up to my mouth. "Holy _shit_ , I think I just figured out who the Queen is." I stood, grabbing Hayner's hand and yanking him up out of his seat. "C'mon, we need to go back to Twilight Town."

"What? Why?" He asked, trying to jerk his hand away from mine (and failing, I might add).

"We have to talk to Miss Astor."

"The _art teacher_?" He asked incredulously. "What does she have to do with you figuring out who the Queen is?"

"She knows what's going on. I don't know _how_ she knows, but she does." I said, starting to pull him toward the door.

"No, no, slow the fuck down." He said, digging his heels stubbornly. "Tell me what in the fuck you've apparently figured out _before_ you drag me around, okay?"

I glared at him, impatiently wondering if it would be more trouble to actually explain, or to just throw him over my shoulder and carry him back to Twilight Town (via Space Paranoids, since I didn't know any other way to get there).

"Fine." I spat finally, releasing him and leaning over my drawing, sketching more onto it as I spoke. "D'you remember last semester, when Miss Astor had her painting class do that study on fairytales?"

"Yeah." He said slowly, the statement coming out as more of a question as he stood beside me and peered over my shoulder. "They had to do a series of pieces telling a fairytale, right? My history of art class had to look at the finished work. They mostly sucked."

"Yeah, but you stayed afterward to help Miss Astor put everything away, and saw a set that she hadn't let the class see." I said, still sketching.

"Right. It was…Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, I think?" He said uncertainly. "And it was damn good, too…and then you came in and went all ape shit about something."

I looked up at him with a dry expression.

He blinked as his brain made the connections. "Oooh…those were yours, weren't they?"

"You think, lamer?" I asked, returning to the drawing.

"That whole scene makes so much more sense now…" He mused. "But what's that got to do with anything?"

"Do you remember the…third one in the series?" I asked.

"Umm…" He paused thoughtfully, worrying his bottom lip with his teeth. "The first one was of Snow White's mom dying…and the second one was Snow White, so the third one was…her evil stepmother, right?"

"No, no, what's the bad guy in Snow White called, Hayner?" I asked, giving him a significant look.

"She's called the Queen, why—oh my God." He said as he _finally_ figured out what I meant.

I nodded, straightening and showing him the finished picture. I hadn't changed the Queen at all except to put an apple in her hand, but in the background I had added a mirror with an eerie face reflected in it.

"Holy shit." He said, reiterating my earlier statement as he grabbed the picture out of my hands. "Seifer…you did a painting of the Queen before you knew who she was. I mean…that was before you knew _any_ of this shit."

"That's not even the weirdest part." I said.

"How is that not the weirdest part?" Sora asked disbelievingly.

"Because the weirdest part is that one, Miss Astor requested that I be the one to do the Snow White fairytale." I said. "And two, she _specifically_ asked me to do a painting of the Queen by herself like this, with the magic mirror in the background and everything."

"She knows something." Riku said.

I nodded, already having drawn that conclusion (which is why I wanted to go to Twilight Town, obviously). " _And_ , if you replace the apple with a blue crystal, this is exactly what she looked like in the memory I saw."

Hayner's eyes met mine. "No such thing as coincidence?" He asked—more like said—with a grin tugging at his mouth.

"Exactly what I was thinking." I said, allowing my trademark smirk to come to my face.

"So let's go to Twilight Town!" He said, eager now.

"See? I told you." I said. "If we leave now and go back through Space Paranoids—"

"Why would you do that?" Sora asked.

"That's how we got here, so we should be able to get back the same way." Hayner explained.

"But why? We can get you there in our Gummi Ship!" Sora said, throwing his arms around Kairi and Riku's shoulders.

"If we have to deal with _your_ driving again, I think I'd rather go through Space Paranoids." Riku drawled, easily blocking Sora's playful slap.

"I'm a good flier!" Sora huffed.

"If 'good' means you haven't killed us yet." Kairi giggled.

"Don't be mean!" Sora said, pouting.

"I'll go with you, then." Cid spoke up suddenly, standing. "God knows you little idiots could use some damn adult supervision."

"You won't be of much help, then." Merlin sniffed disdainfully.

"Ah, shut the fuck up, geezer." Cid snapped. "At least _I_ won't destroy the damn ship using that godforsaken magic of yours!"

"Godfor—don't you talk to me like that, young man!" Merlin said. "I'm old enough to be your grandfather; you should treat me with the respect I deserve!"

"I _am_ treating you with the respect you deserve, after you blew up my computer!" Cid said.

"Oh, both of you stop it!" Aerith said, putting her hands on her hips. "Honestly, you're as bad as Hayner and Seifer! And even though _all_ of you are old enough to know better, you two are most certainly too old to carry on like this."

The two men turned their backs on each other again.

"I don't know if this many people will fit in the ship." Sora piped up. "Especially since I think Donald and Goofy are supposed to be meeting up with us later."

"Can we use one of your ships, Cid?" Kairi asked.

Cid shook his head. "None of them are ready to fly yet, especially not if we run into trouble—which we're bound to do. There ain't enough time to make yours bigger, either, or I'd do that."

I saw Riku's jaw clench, and knew what he was about to say almost before he said it.

"Kairi and I can…can stay here." He said with some difficulty.

"No!" Kairi exclaimed immediately.

"Kairi, we have to stay." Riku said.

"No we don't! I'm not leaving Sora! Not again!" She said. "I'd rather put up with his bad flying than stay here without him!"

"Kairi, I get the feeling that they're going to _need_ a good driver with them for this." Riku said. "And we take up more room than Donald and Goofy—"

"Maybe _you_ take up more room than Goofy, but I most certainly don't!" She said. "Let _him_ stay here with you!"

"Goofy will be more useful than you, Kairi." Riku said.

She jerked back like he had slapped her. "I'm useful!"

"I didn't say you weren't, I just said Goofy's _more_ useful. And I don't know how being around the Queen would affect me, since I…well." He shrugged, but apparently everyone but Hayner and I knew what in the hell he was talking about. At least, I assumed Hayner was as confused as I was. "So I don't know that I would be very useful, either. We're the best people to stay here."

"That…that isn't fair!" She said, though the anguished expression on her face told everyone that she knew he was right. Then, her bottom lip trembling, she shook her head and ran deeper into the house with a soft, brokenhearted sob.

Riku sighed, but didn't go after her. Instead, he turned to Sora, pulling it out of his pocket and pressing it into the smaller boy's hand. "Look, Sora…if you ever need anything…I mean, _anything_ …"

"I'll Summon you." Sora assured him with a smile, and then threw his arms around the taller boy's neck. "I'll be back."

"You'd better be." Riku said, ruffling his hair, then turned in the direction Kairi had taken. "I'd better go talk to her."

"Yeah." Sora said. "Tell her…"

"I will." Riku said with a distracted wave of his hand, and then he had disappeared into another room.

"So!" Sora turned to us, all smiles once again (he definitely, _definitely_ wasn't the same person as Roxas). "Let's get going, yeah?"

"Where are we meeting up with Goofy and Donald?" Cid asked as the two of them filed out, Hayner and I following fairly closely behind.

At least, I was following close behind before a hand suddenly grabbed my arm. I looked back in surprise at Leon, who wouldn't quite meet my gaze as he slipped something into my hand.

I looked down, finding a small pendant shaped like a lion's head with a cross underneath it.

"Griever?" The word popped out of my mouth at the same time as it popped into my mind.

"We're the…the last ones left from our world." He said with some difficulty. "Maybe we hate each other, and maybe we've both moved on, but…if you need me…I'll come help you out."

I blinked at him.

"Sora will show you how to Summon." He added awkwardly, pulling away.

My first, unexplainable instinct was to hug him, but I suppressed it violently, giving him a curt nod instead. He returned it (he looked relieved that that was my only response), and for just a moment there was a silent understanding between us. And then he scowled at me, and I smirked at him before turning to catch up with the others, waving at Aerith, Cloud, and Merlin just before I was out the door.

"What was that?" Hayner asked curiously, having apparently slowed so I could catch up. The other two were a little ways ahead—they hadn't noticed us lagging behind, probably too caught up in whatever they were talking about.

I shrugged wordlessly, moving to slip Griever into my pocket. Then I paused, glancing down at the token for a moment, and clipped it to a belt loop instead.

"Just…just getting a little help from a friend." I said, hefting Hyperion onto my shoulder the same way I would a Struggle Bat—Hyperion was noticeably heavier, but not unmanageable.

"You need a sheath for that thing." Hayner remarked.

"I'll be fine." I said, then gave him a sly look. "What about you, lamer? You don't have any weapon at all, and even if you get a Struggle Bat when we get back to Twilight Town you suck with them."

He made a face at me, then grinned that stupid grin of his and flexed his biceps at me. "As long as I have _these_ guns, I don't need any other weapons."

I choked on air, putting a hand over my heart. "Oh, God—I know I call you 'lamer,' but I think that might have been _physically_ painful."

He sighed dramatically. "All that time I spent actually kicking your ass, and all I had to do was tell a lame joke?"

"That didn't even constitute as a _lame_ joke. It was _terrible_." I said.

"Now you're just being mean." He said.

"'S what I do best, chickenwuss." I replied easily. "Besides, what do you mean 'actually kicking your ass'? Even _with_ Roxas around you never stood a fucking chance of beating me."

He rolled his eyes, not making the comment I expected as he frowned suddenly. "D'you think…everyone will have forgotten about us?" He asked.

"We've only been gone for, like, a day." I said.

"They forgot about Roxas." He pointed out. "I mean, yeah, technically they didn't know him, but…technically they didn't know us, either."

I pursed my lips together. "I dunno, lamer. Maybe." A sinking feeling settled deep in my stomach. "If they've forgotten us…do you think Rai and Fuu will…will be…gone? Merlin said they're like doppelgangers or something, right?"

Hayner gave me a sympathetic look that would've made me want to punch him if not for the overwhelming sadness I was feeling at the prospect of losing my only—if, admittedly, fake—friends.

"Shit, that would suck." He said finally.

I took a deep breath, then let it out along with a low growl. "I'm beginning to wish I'd just decked you yesterday instead of letting you run your damn mouth."

We were quiet for a moment.

"You know what, Seifer?" Our eyes met, reflecting the same emotions back at each other. "I'm beginning to wish the same thing."


	9. Spiritus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spiritus (breath, breathing; life; spirit)

" _You had a choice it was your world to make it. My offer was there you just had to take it." –After U, 'Decisions'_

I had curled myself up in one of the chairs as soon as we had taken off and no longer had to wear seatbelts, knees pulled up so as to keep the spare paper I'd found at about eye level. My jaw was set as it always was when I was working on something, and my eyes flickered as unobtrusively as possible from my impromptu sketchpad to the surprisingly thoughtful pose of one Hayner Duncan. He was brooding about something in the seat across from me, leaning back in what would have been a relaxed position if not for the way his eyebrows had drawn together. He almost looked angry; and like I said before: 'angry Hayner' is like an angry kitten, so he actually looked—

"Whatcha drawin'?"

I let out a sharp yelp and instinctively punched at the source of my surprise, causing Sora to fall flat on his ass.

"Don't fucking scare me like that, dipshit!" I said, though I was more upset that the fracas had jolted Hayner out of position than anything else.

"What'd you have to punch me for?" Sora asked, words slightly slurred as he clutched his broken nose and glared at me.

I rolled my eyes at him. "Lemme see."

"No, I—ow!" He screeched when I jerked his hands away from his nose and popped it back into place. "That _hurt_ , Seifer!"

"That's what you get for sneaking up on me." I snapped. "And punching you is an automatic reaction—just ask the chickenwuss, here; it's _his_ fault I do it."

Hayner laughed awkwardly. "Yeah, it kinda is. And he does it to pretty much anyone who doesn't announce themselves before they get within arm's reach of him. He gets jumpy."

"Hmph." Sora said, but his curiosity overcame his pain (he's fucking ADHD, I was quickly discovering) when he saw my sketchpad. "So? What _were_ you drawing?"

I shrugged, picking up the paper and handing it to him. "Just sketching. I don't have to worry about anything here, so I can draw as much as I want."

"What would you have to worry about? Rabid fangirls?" Sora asked as he looked at the sketch. "This is _really_ good!"

"Can I see?" Hayner asked, peeking over Sora's shoulder. Sora held the drawing so he could see it, too. "Hey, that's me! The fuck are you drawing me for?"

"Drawing the ship gets boring after a while, but I needed a reference." I said, blushing a little. It was one of my only big foibles—when in the sketching stage of an artwork, I had to have a reference of some sort. Once the sketch was done I could do whatever in the hell I liked with it and end up with a fine—if not more than fine—finished product. For some reason, though, I had to have a reference at first if I didn't want the piece to come out looking like shit.

Which, naturally, I never did.

"Oh." Hayner said, blinking at me. "Well…well."

I rolled my eyes, took the sketch back, and flopped into my seat. "Whatever. How much longer to Twilight Town, Cid?"

"Oh, I'd say we got—shit!"

Everyone let out a surprised yell as the ship dipped violently to one side, a loud boom sounding from outside.

"We got trouble!" Cid said rather uselessly. "You kids buckle the fuck up—Sora! Get up here and man the guns while I try to dodge these bitches!"

"Right!" Sora said, stumbling to the front as Hayner sat down and the two of us buckles our seatbelts.

I won't even _attempt_ to explain all of what happened next, except to say that the more shit that got thrown at us, the further into his element Cid seemed to be. He swerved and ducked expertly, even taking over for Sora at a few points before returning to the wheel, whooping and hollering like an excited kid the entire time. Whatever doubts I might have had about him were swept away, and whatever respect he hadn't already garnered by being who he was, was awarded to him just by watching him work. Even though he had only flown the odd Gummi ship for a few hours, he had mastered it. Like Miss Astor often said: a master painter makes art with any brush. Cid…no, _Captain_ Cid could dominate the skies in any ship.

Sadly, even the best pilot can be overwhelmed, which is exactly what happened moments later when another legion of battleships basically appeared out of thin air.

"Ah, shit." I heard Cid mutter (I was sitting right behind him). "Hayner, check the screen to your left, it should be a map. What's the nearest world to our current position?"

"Umm…it's the Olympus Coliseum, sir!" Hayner said.

"Alright, enter the coordinates into the computer, and everybody hold on tight! We're about to make one hell of a crash landing!"

I clamped my mouth shut to keep out any errant noises that might have escaped, and hung on as tightly as I could to my armrests. I decided that I didn't particularly enjoy flying, and if Cid was a master pilot I was sure as hell never flying with Sora at the wheel.

With a jolt, we burst free of the cluster fuck of ships, which tried to keep up but only managed to hit us once more before we were out of range and out of sight. The thrumming of the ship became almost frantic, then, as the Coliseum came into view, as if the ship itself knew it was on its last legs. I drew in a deep breath and held it as the ship began shaking.

"Put your head between your legs and kiss your ass goodbye, kids!" Cid called back—he still sounded like he was having the time of his life—then went into a sharp dive that made me squeeze my eyes shut.

My stomach flew up into my throat due to the sudden falling sensation, but I couldn't even attempt to gulp so the lump would go away. Finally, we made impact, bouncing a few times before we finally skidded to a halt.

All you could hear was settling dust, crackling bits of metal and electricity, and our heavy, adrenaline-induced breathing.

"Everyone alright?" Cid called back, coughing as dust tried to get in his mouth and throat.

"'M fine!" Sora said.

"Been better." Hayner muttered as he sat up, shaking his head as if to clear it of something.

"Agreed." I groaned, clearing my throat loudly. "Let's get the fuck out of here."

There were mumbled responses as we made our ways out of our seats and then out of the door, which I had to shoulder open.

"And Riku called _me_ a bad driver." Sora giggled, obviously trying to lighten everyone's mood.

"Sora, that's the first time I can ever remember being in a Gummi ship, and I can already tell you that there's no way you could do what Cid just did and come out of it alive." Hayner said.

Sora pouted a little, blowing a raspberry at him before catching sight of a small group of people approaching us. "Hercules! Phil and Meg, too! Hey, guys!"

"Sora!" A huge, bulky guy exclaimed. And by bulky, I mean ridiculously fucking buff—this guy had biceps the size of my _head_. "Is that you?"

"Yeah." Sora laughed, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. "We ran into a bunch of ships and crashed. Sorry about that!"

"No problem! We haven't seen you in a while, little buddy!" Hercules said, scooping Sora up and hugging him—if the pained expression on Sora's face was anything to go by, it was quite literally a 'bone-crushing' hug. Sora let out a relieved sigh when Hercules set him down. "How you been? Where are Donald and Goofy?"

"We're meeting them in Twilight Town." Sora explained. "That's where we were going before we crashed. And I've been fine. Oh! And these are my friends Cid, Hayner, and Seifer. Guys, this is Hercules, and those two are Megara and Philoctetes—Meg and Phil for short."

"Pleasure." I said with a nod, Hayner and Cid doing basically the same thing. None of us wanted to shake hands with Hercules if we could help it, which meant not shaking hands with the others, either.

Then, a friggin' winged horse trotted up behind them and snorted, sounding a bit put out.

"And who could forget you, Pegasus?" Sora asked, throwing his arms around the now appeased horse. "Sorry I don't have an apple or something for you, buddy, but we weren't really expecting to stop here!"

The horse whinnied, as if begrudgingly forgiving him for the oversight. I couldn't help but chuckle at its antics.

"Well, would you like to enter the tournament while you're here?" Hercules asked eagerly.

"They probably just want to get their ship fixed and go on their way, Wonder Boy." Meg giggled as she patted his arm sympathetically. His face fell, making him look like a kid who'd just been refused a visit to the toy store, and Meg rolled her eyes.

"You kids would just get in my way." Cid said, already assessing the damage that the ship had taken. "It'll take me at least a day to fix this junk heap, so you might as well go fight if you want to. I ain't got a problem with it."

"I could call Hephaestus, if you like." Hercules offered. "He's the god of technology, so he would probably be really interested in this machine of yours."

"Do whatever you like." Cid waved him off.

"That means 'thank you, I'd love the help.'" Hayner snickered. "C'mon, guys, let's go kick some ass, shall we?"

I rolled my eyes, matching my steps with Phil. "So, how's this tournament bullshit work?"

Phil gave me a disapproving look—it was one I'd gotten used to receiving from adults—and snorted lightly. "Three words, kid: team. Work."

I couldn't stop my eyebrow from arching up.

"He always does that." Sora whispered, tittering. "No one else understands it, either."

" _Right_."

"The three of you fight your way to the top," Phil continued, either not hearing or ignoring our short exchange. "Then, you choose one of you to go up against Herc."

"Is he automatically at the top?" Hayner asked.

"No. But do you really think he'd lose before the last fight?" Phil asked with a rather wicked laugh. "And I doubt he'll lose then, either."

"I've beat him before!" Sora said.

"And I'm looking forward to a rematch." Hercules piped up.

"Who says Sora's gonna be the one in the final battle?" I asked, scowling. "If he's already beat you, Hayner or I should get a shot. Besides, he's the fucking Keyblade Master—he'll probably come back here before it's all said and done. Hayner and I aren't gonna be traveling around saving the worlds all the time like he does."

"That's a good point, kid." Phil said. "But I doubt that anyone but the Keyblade Master could beat Herc, even on one of his bad days—and today ain't one of them!"

I eyed Hercules appraisingly. "I think I could give him a run for his money, at least."

Phil let out another one of those laughs. Fucking annoying bastard. "It's your funeral, kid."

"Seifer, are you sure…" Sora began.

"Either of you mind if I take the last fight?" I cut him off, addressing him and Hayner.

"I-I'm not sure if that's such a good idea." Sora said uncertainly. "I mean, he's—"

"If you lose, I'll fucking kill you." Hayner said, flicking my nose.

"Alright, then, we're decided." I said before Sora could talk anymore. "I'll take the last battle."

"If you get that far." Phil said darkly.

"We'll get there, goat boy." I said.

"Goat—I'm a satyr! A _satyr_!" Phil shrieked, outraged.

"Don't worry, Phil, that's just how he shows he cares." Hayner said, nodding sagely.

"Shut up, lamer." I said, swatting his head.

He laughed.

(PAGEBREAK,Y'KNOW?)

Our first battle fucking _sucked_ , even if we won.

We weren't used to fighting together, yet, so we ended up fumbling through it and nearly killing each other instead of the bad guys half the time.

Phil gave us a smug look. I flipped the asshole off.

The second fight wasn't much better, but by the third fight we got a good momentum going. We let Hayner take out the first wave, since they were usually foot soldiers, while Sora cast spells at some of the ones behind them to weaken them. Once the first wave was gone, I attacked and Hayner fell back to take out any stragglers and Sora continued casting and healing. If and when Sora's magic ran out, he either started helping me, or used an ether to get it back up. Usually he just attacked, since he only had so many ethers and didn't want to waste them before we went up against the big guys.

We were all sweaty and out-of-breath by the semifinals, and luckily were given a five-minute break to heal ourselves up and take a piss or whatever else we needed to do. I went to a fairly secluded room and put a wet towel over my head, which was something of a ritual for me during tournaments. Not really interesting or weird as far as rituals go, I know, but the quiet helped me calm my nerves and the towel cooled me off.

"So, you're the one going up against Herc in the finals?" A voice said in my ear.

Just like I had with Sora, I punched the speaker, jumping out of my chair and whipping the towel off my head.

"Hey, hey, no need to get violent." I blinked at the man, a blue-skinned guy in a black toga and with flaming blue hair (I'll refrain from making the comment _that_ one's begging for). "The name's Hades, kid, Lord of the—"

"Underworld. I know who you are." I said. I used to be something of a Greek Mythology nut when I was younger…although it looked like it wasn't as much of a myth as I'd thought. "God of Death and all that. What do you want?"

"You're a bit rude, kid." Hades said, frowning at me.

"I don't like it when people sneak up on me." I said. "So what do you want? I've got a fight in a few minutes."

"And after that you've got a fight with Hercules." He said with a nasty grin.

"Yeah, so?"

"Wanna beat him?" He asked.

I gave him a dry look. "No, I was hoping I could just give him a cheap fruit basket and sing 'Kumbayah.'" I said. "Of course I want to fucking beat him."

"Okay, okay, okay, you need to watch that mouth of yours, kid." He said, obviously beginning to lose his temper.

"And you need to make your fucking point before I'm late to my next fight."

"I want you to _kill_ Hercules."

I frowned. "And why, exactly, would I do that?"

"Because I want him dead." Hades said.

"What do I get if I kill him?" I asked.

This time, the smile he gave me actually sent a shiver down my spine. "You want your friends back? Raijin and Fuujin, right?" His smile widened. "I _am_ the God of the Dead, after all. I could bring them back…and probably get you your memories, too."

I stayed quiet, turning the idea over in my head.

"Not to mention that I could get your original body back."

"My…original body?" I asked.

"Didn't anyone tell you? Ansem got rid of your real body and gave you that one when he stuck you in Twilight Town. And anything dead or destroyed passes into _my_ domain."

I stared at him for a moment, then shook my head. "Not interested." I said, turning away.

"No, no, no, wait." He said, grabbing my arm. "What if I gave you Hayner's soul?"

I froze. "Hayner's…soul?"

"He was a heartless, remember? heartless don't have souls." He said. "But I can find the soul he used to have and give it to him. He's got his original heart already. And once he's got his soul back, he won't be in anymore danger of losing himself to the Queen again." He grinned toothily. "Or at least, he won't be in as much danger."

I clenched my teeth together, turning this information over in my head a few times. The other offers had been easy to refuse—I didn't like the idea of bringing my past friends back to life, because I was starting to believe Hayner's thing about there being no coincidences, and I liked my body the way it was, thank you very fucking much. As for my old memories, who fucking needed them? I obviously had a reason for giving them up in the first place, so getting them back would probably prove to be a waste of time and energy. Plus, I was skeptical about thinking Hades could get them back. Dead bodies and friends, maybe, but memories weren't in his power at all. That would be Mnemosyne (and don't fucking look at me like that, I told you I used to be really into mythology).

"Whaddya say, kid?" Hades asked, offering me his hand.

I paused for a moment, my hands balling into fists. "I say—"

Sora chose this time to burst into the room. "Hey, Seifer! It's time for—Hades!"

"Sora." Hades spat.

Sora looked between us, eyes wide. "Seifer, what're you doing with Hades?"

I drew myself up. "I was actually just about to tell him to fuck off." I pinned Hades with a fierce glare. "Assuming you aren't lying, I'll find Hayner's soul if I'm meant to— _without_ killing anyone who doesn't deserve to die." I said, stuffing my hands into my pockets. "So fuck you _and_ your deal."

"Why you little—"

"Back off, Hades!" Sora growled, summoning his Keyblade. "Seifer said no!"

Hades snarled at us and disappeared in a ball of flames.

"What was that about?" Sora asked, turning on me suspiciously. "Were you going to make a deal with him?"

"No, I—"

"He's a liar! I can't believe you would even _consider_ it! Hades can't be trusted." Sora said.

"I said I wasn't gonna do it, didn't I?" I snapped. "So you can fuck off, too, Sora."

Sora narrowed his eyes at me for a moment, then nodded. "Fine. C'mon, our next match is about to start."

I nodded and followed him out of the room, trying to ignore the sinking feeling in my gut meant that I had just made a terrible, terrible mistake.


	10. Inducare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inducare (to lead)

" _I don't care what tomorrow brings; I won't back down for anything. I want to think that I was made for something else. I can't wait anymore, I'm ready to reach, so I'm closing the door behind me. All that I can do is hold onto you and follow where you lead—where you're leading me." –Bethany Dillon, 'All That I Can Do'_

The semi-final round, predictably, was a bitch. It was against some guy with blue eyes, spiky black hair, and a sword like Cloud's, but together the three of us managed to take him down. And then, thank God, there was another five minute break before the last battle. Sora and Hayner restocked my potion supply before wishing me luck and going to take seats beside Meg and Phil while I tried to psyche myself up. My grip on Hyperion was so tight that my knuckles had lost their color, one leg jumping nervously.

"You're Seifer?"

I looked up—it was the guy from the semi-finals. He sat beside me.

"Good fight, by the way." He said, as if trying to start up a conversation.

I eyed him suspiciously, and he sighed.

"Hades talked to you, right?" He asked.

"Yeah." I snapped, already on edge because of the upcoming fight. I really didn't need this guy bringing up Hades' offer—not when I was still ignoring the niggling feeling I had that I'd made the wrong choice.

"Don't do it." He said. "Whatever he offered you…don't do it. Hades can't be trusted."

"I know." I said. "Now would you fuck off?"

He laughed and handed me something—a small medallion shaped like a flame.

"It's a fire spell." He explained when I gave him a confused look. Then he stood and saluted me cheerfully. "Good luck, Seifer Almasy."

I snorted, then did a slight double take when his eyes glowed green—the color of the Lifestream, I knew without knowing how I knew—and then he faded away.

I glared at the spot he'd been standing in.

"I don't need any more confusing shit, you bastard." I spat, then stood when the bell signaling the end of the break sounded.

"May the best man win." Hercules said blithely, shaking my hand with surprising gentleness. I guess after dealing with Meg, who looked like she'd snap in half by bumping into a leaf, he'd gotten used to not squeezing people to death.

"Yeah, sure." I muttered, Hades' offer still echoing in my head. I glanced at Hayner, who grinned and gave me two thumbs up. Then my eyes flickered up, seeing Hades standing in the shadows and smirking at me. I scowled and faced Hercules, both of us crouching into our fighting stances.

"Four words, boys: Ready? Set? Go!" Phil yelled from the stands, another bell chiming.

It was hard to stop from rolling my eyes—apparently, the goat guy really _did_ do that a lot. But I didn't have time to react to Phil because I was already reacting to Hercules, who threw himself at me the moment the bell rang.

Just so you know: Hercules is fucking strong. _Really_ fucking strong, which is what I found out when I tried to block his punch with Hyperion. Luckily for me, Hyperion was made of a metal that didn't immediately shatter under the force of the blow. My arms, however, were just normal arms, and I was thrown back into one of the pillars.

I recovered quickly (ignoring the knowing laugh from Phil) and leapt up in time to dodge his charge, turning around in midair and slicing down his back. It was a finishing move I had just about perfected while fighting the heartless in Radiant Gardens, but of course a demigod isn't nearly so easy to kill as a heartless, so I kept attacking until he finally threw me off.

This went on for some time—he would attack, and if he connected I'd fly back a little ways and then counter before he could strike another blow. If I got out of the way in time, I followed up with a few quick strokes of Hyperion. Surprisingly, we were pretty evenly matched, and by the time he was low on health so was I. That's when my body took over.

You know how when you're desperate and running on adrenaline, you're supposed to be able to do shit you normally can't? Like when mothers can lift up cars to get their babies from under them—that sort of crazy shit. I think that's sort of what happened, except it was more like my body was remembering something that my brain had forgotten.

I threw a fire spell at Hercules with my left hand, stunning him. Then, I spun Hyperion around faster and faster, pouring energy into it until I made an upward slashing motion with it, launching spiraling energy blades at Hercules and sending him flying backwards.

"No Mercy." I whispered, breathing hard and wiping an arm across my brow. I stepped forward, stopping once I was standing over Hercules, who was obviously not going to be able to fight any more.

"Good job." He wheezed, starting to sit up. I put a foot on his chest and pushed him back down, looking up at Hades so I wouldn't have to see the surprised and slightly fearful expression on the brawny man's face.

"All I have to do is kill him, right?" I asked.

The audience gasped and looked back to see Hades, who stepped out of the shadows with that foul smile of his.

"That's right." He said, tapping his fingers together eagerly.

"Seifer, what're you doing?" Sora asked. "You said you weren't gonna make a deal with him!"

"Seifer?"

I looked down at Hercules, whose eyes were wide more with shock than fright.

"Whatever he promised you, he won't go through with it." He said in a calm voice. "Or he will, just not in the way you expect. Think about this before you make a decision."

"I have." I said softly, lifting Hyperion up. Part of me knew it was stupid, but…what if Hades _wasn't_ lying? Hayner not having a soul made a twisted sort of sense—when a person lost their heart, their body became a heartless and their soul became a Nobody, right? So…assuming that Hayner's Nobody had been destroyed, Hayner's soul would have gone to the Underworld. So Hades could give it back to him.

And what would happen to Hayner if he had to keep functioning without a soul? Surely whatever support the Queen had been giving him during the mission would be gone soon, when she found out we were trying to stop her. Was I willing to let him just…just fade away, or whatever in the hell else happened to a person without a soul? Could I live knowing I could have stopped whatever was happening or would happen soon?

I wasn't lying when I told him he was the only thing that was real to me at that point. And, all teasing rivalry aside, once I basically pledged my loyalty to someone they had it pretty much until I died. There wasn't much that could turn me against that person before then.

"Seifer, no!" Hayner screamed.

If it had been anyone else, I don't think I would've stopped. But it _was_ him, so I let out an angry, frustrated snarl before I brought Hyperion down, stabbing the ground beside Hercules' head. I rested my hand against the gunblade's hilt for a moment, breathing hard and squeezing my eyes shut for a moment to keep the tears at bay.

"Shit." I muttered, feeling helpless—it was a terrible feeling. Then I straightened and removed my foot, offering Hercules a hand.

"Good fight." I murmured as I helped him up.

"You, too." He said, smiling like I hadn't just almost killed him.

"No! Kill him! Kill him!" Hades screeched, hair flaring up.

"You want him dead? Fucking kill him yourself." I said.

"I _will_!" He said as his hair burned even brighter. He made to come toward us, but froze as a woman wearing a rich gold and burgundy dress appeared a few feet away from Hercules and me. She had long brown hair decorated with odd little orange flowers, and looked like she was about to bitch slap someone.

"Hades!" She snarled, hands balled into fists at her side.

"P-Persephone, darling…" Hades began, his entire visage changing.

"Don't you 'darling' me!" She said. "I send you out for _one_ little thing—it should only have taken you five minutes, at most!—and suddenly I get a call from Iris to say you've gone and started a plot to kill Hercules! Again!"

"I was just—"

"Just _what_?" She shrieked. "All you had to do was bring Seifer and Hayner to the Underworld! That was _all_! No plots, no schemes, just extend the invitation and bring them!"

"I _was_!" He said defensively. "But…but as long as they were already going, I thought…"

"You thought you'd strike a deal with one of them to kill Hercules?" She asked. "It's an invitation, you useless sod! They don't have to work for it! Honestly, Hades, what were you thinking? Let's just forget the fact that you've _never_ been able to kill Hercules—you know very well that Seifer and Hayner are in no way, shape, or form under your jurisdiction! You have no right to trap either of them in one of your inane deals!"

"I wasn't—"

"You _were_!" She said. "And shame on you for trying, even if they _were_ under your jurisdiction. They aren't Orpheus and Euridice!"

"But—"

"But nothing! You are in _so_ much trouble when we get home! So _go_!"

"But dear…"

"I said _go_!" She said, jabbing one finger toward the ground.

He grumbled a bit, but disappeared in a spiral of flames.

" _Men_! Bah!" Persephone huffed angrily, rolling her eyes. Then she turned to Hercules and me, her face softening. "Seifer."

"Y-yes ma'am." I sputtered. Now, normally I wouldn't have been bothered by some random woman appearing out of nowhere and what-the-fuck-not, but this wasn't some random woman. This was _Persephone_. A _goddess_. And yeah, I know, Hades was a god—god of the underworld, no less. But he was also an asshole, and god or not I only reacted to assholes in one way: by reciprocating the attitude.

"Come walk with me, pet." She said, holding an arm out toward me.

I glanced at Hercules, who shrugged, then went over to where she was standing and allowed her to thread her arm through mine.

"Now, why don't you tell me what my silly husband promised that would make you consider killing that darling Hercules." She said. "Was it your friends? Raijin and Fuujin, right? If so, I'll see if I can—"

"No, ma'am." I cut her off hesitantly. "I mean, he…he offered, but I didn't take it."

"Then what was it?" She asked.

I paused for a moment. "Ma'am, is…is it true that Hayner doesn't have a soul?" I finally blurted.

Her face fell. "Oh, sweetie…" She shook her head. "Yes it's true, but…Hades doesn't have his soul. I don't know what he was planning to do about it, because as wily as he is he never goes back on a deal, but he isn't in possession of Hayner's soul."

I nodded wordlessly, clenching my teeth and gulping so I wouldn't vomit.

She sighed and then made a determined noise. "Well, that just won't do. Let's see…oh! I've got it." She snapped her fingers, and a silver ring appeared in her hand. She offered it to me. "Here. That ring will point the way to Hayner's soul, so long as you want to find it."

I took it carefully, sliding it onto my thumb.

"But you mustn't tell Hayner about any of this." She said, wagging a finger at me. "His ignorance is the only thing keeping him safe right now—once he finds out that he doesn't have a soul, he'll start fading away."

"Thank you, ma'am. I won't tell him." I said.

She smiled and patted my back. "Don't worry about it, Seifer. You and Hayner—you're both going to be just fine, I think. Just keep doing what you're doing, and it will all work out fine in the end."

I nodded again. "So we're on the right track so far? I mean, going to see Miss Astor and all?"

"It's a good place to start." She said. "Oh! And don't worry about Miss Astor—she's a good person, especially for one of her kind."

"One of…her kind?" I asked, frowning.

She giggled. "I've said too much, I think. But I can give you two hints: First, her last name is Greek. It means 'a star.' And second, one of the people traveling with you knows her."

"O…kay." I said slowly.

"Chin up, tough guy." She said, winking at me. Then she gave me a stern look. "And don't fall for any more tricks like my husband's. If something is meant to happen, it will. If you waver like you did here…you're bound to do something you'll regret later, and someone's going to take advantage of that."

I flushed. "Alright. I'll be careful."

"Good." She said. "Now let's go back—Hayner looks very worried."

I glanced at the lamer, who wasn't even pretending to listen to the conversation the rest of the group was having. Instead, he was watching us nervously, biting his lip and tapping his fingers against his leg at sporadic intervals.

"He's a sweet boy." Persephone said as she pulled me toward the group.

"Yeah, I know." I sighed.

She laughed and stepped in front of me when several accusing glares were turned on us—or, to be more specific, on me. Hercules and Hayner seemed to be the only ones not glaring.

"I can't believe you would do that, Seifer!" Sora hissed.

"Keyblade Master, hold your tongue." Persephone said, giving him a disapproving look. "I've forbidden Seifer to talk about the deal he nearly entered into with my husband, but believe me when I say it was a selfless and commendable act."

"Yeah, right." Sora said.

"Hercules and Meg have made deals with him, too. They know the nature of them." She said.

Hercules blinked, while Meg's eyes widened as if she had been struck. They glanced at Hayner in unison, as if that small piece of information—whatever it meant—told them exactly what deal I had almost made.

"I've also asked him to go on a personal errand for me once you've conducted your business in Twilight Town; you should be able to conduct it while you continue your quest." I looked at her—this side-quest was news to me. "Let's just say I'm making up for Hades' petty trick. Right, Seifer?" She winked at me.

I looked down at the ring on my thumb, then back up at her, nodding. "Yeah. Thanks again."

She patted my head like a dog, and a stifled a scowl. "It's not a problem, pet. You and Hayner are two of my favorite heroes."

"Heroes? Those two?" Phil scoffed skeptically.

Persephone giggled. "Well, maybe not just yet, but they will be." She hugged me. "Remember what I told you, Seifer."

I just gave her a wavering half-smile, unused to physical contact unless it was some sort of fight. My mother (well, the mother Ansem put in my memories) had been more the type to express her love by doing things for me than by hugging and kissing me. And my dad…I actually don't even know how they conceived me, as few times as I'd seen him touch someone without any malice behind it. So, yeah, definitely no hugs or anything from _him_.

"Bye!" She said, and disappeared without any of her husband's theatrics.

No one spoke.

"Shit!" I said, before the awkward silence could completely settle over us. "I forgot to ask her how this fucking ring works!"

As if in response to my outburst, a piece of paper suddenly floated down in front of me. I caught it easily as it fluttered around.

 _Follow the leader. –Persephone_

I frowned. "The fuck's that supposed to mean?" I asked, but she didn't deign to answer.

"What's it say?" Sora asked, peeking over my shoulder.

I put a hand on his forehead and shoved him away. "None of your damn business, pipsqueak."

He jutted his bottom lip out, but surprisingly didn't push it. Instead, he decided to get annoying about something else. "I know what _is_ my business—what were you thinking, almost accepting Hades' deal? You said you weren't going to!"

"And I didn't." I pointed out.

"Only because Hayner stopped you!" He retorted.

I shrugged. "Yeah, well." I muttered, trying to brush past him.

"Yeah, well, what?" He demanded. "I know that goddess said you had a good reason, but I don't believe it!"

I grabbed his shirt and jerked him up, glaring at him. "If I wanted you to know, I'd damn well tell you, so until I decide to change my mind: fuck off." I growled, dropping him roughly.

"I won't!" He said. "Hercules is my friend, and I'm not just going to stand by and let you off the hook when you just tried to kill him!"

"That's _great_ Sora!" I snapped. "That's just _wonderful_ for you—you have _friends_ to defend. But guess what? I _don't_. I don't have _anyone_ except for Hayner. So I'll defend _him_ the only way I damn well know how, and anyone who tries to get in my way can get fucked. That includes _you_ , Keyblade Master."

He jerked back, giving me a surprised look. "Defend Hayner? From what?" He asked.

"The Queen, the world, you, himself—I don't fucking know, but I'm going to do it." I said, then gritted my teeth together when I realized that I had probably said too much. I wondered if my cheeks were as hot as they felt.

Hayner laughed, stopping Sora from saying anything else as he patted my arm. "You're a real idiot, Seifer, you know that?" He asked. "Defend me; yeah, right."

"Fuck you, chickenwuss." I said, swatting the back of his head.

"From defending me to attacking me in as many minutes? Nice to know you're on my side." He chuckled sarcastically.

"Yeah, yeah." I said.

"C'mon." He grabbed my hand—as was quickly becoming his habit, it seemed. "Let's go see how Cid's doing with the ship."

I nodded and let him lead me away.


	11. Metus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Metus (fear, dread, anxiety)

" _How long before I get in? Before it starts, before I begin? How long before you decide? Before I know what it feels like?…How long do I have to climb, up on the side of this mountain of mine?…every chance that you get is a chance you seize. How long am I gonna stand with my head stuck under the sand?" –Coldplay, 'Speed of Sound'_

"Cid? Oi, Cid, where the fuck are you?" I asked. Hayner had gone off to search the surrounding area for the suspiciously absent pilot, leaving me to search the ship.

"I can't find him, Seifer!" Hayner's voice yelled from the entrance to the ship.

"Neither can—holy shit!" I screeched, backpedaling out of the room I had just entering and slamming the door closed behind me.

"What happened? Heartless?" Hayner asked as he hurried to where I was standing.

I shook my head vigorously, eyes wide as I blocked his way into the cabin.

"Then wha—whoa." Hayner blinked as the door opened.

Out tumbled a disheveled but unabashed Cid, shirtless but with hastily pulled on pants. Behind him was an exceedingly pale (and by exceedingly pale, I mean this guy made Riku look _black_ ) guy who apparently dressed faster than anyone I'd ever met before, since he had been naked a few short seconds before but was now wearing a multi-belted black outfit covered by a long, slightly ragged red cloak. Though the cloak had a high collar, I could still see the light blush on the man's otherwise colorless cheeks.

"Boys, this is Vincent Valentine, an old…friend." Cid said. "Vincent, the one that walked in on us is Seifer Almasy, and the other one is Hayner Duncan."

Vincent nodded wordlessly, not even bothering to wave at us.

"Erm…hi." Hayner said awkwardly.

"Yeah, hi." I said. "So…um…what're you doing here?"

"Besides Cid." Hayner blurted, then flushed and ducked his head when both men arched an eyebrow at him.

"He needs a ride." Cid said. "And we're gonna have to make a pit stop in Traverse Town for some parts, so I figured we could take him."

"Sure." I said.

"I don't have a problem with it." Hayner said uncertainly, though the glance he cast over the two men told me that he was thinking of several problems. "Sora might, though."

"Sora might what?" The brunette in question asked as he ducked into the ship.

"Cid wants this guy to tag along with us to Traverse Town." I said, jerking a thumb at Vincent.

"Oh. Hi!" Sora said cheerfully. "I'm Sora!"

"Vincent." The stoic man replied.

Sora beamed at him for a moment before looking at Cid. "So are we good to go? Roxas is getting restless."

"Roxas?" Hayner asked. I got the feeling that if he was a cat, his ears would have just perked up.

"I can…feel him, sometimes." Sora said carefully. "But anyhow…we ready to leave?"

"We have to stop in Traverse Town for parts, but we're in the clear to leave this rock." Cid said with a nod.

"Sweet! Let's go!" He said, practically thrumming with excitement.

"Right." Cid nodded, reaching into the room and grabbing his shirt, which he yanked over his head as he made his way to the front of the ship. "Sit the fuck down and buckle your damn seatbelts, ladies, we're outta here!"

We hurried to our seats, readying ourselves for takeoff. Still remembering our last flight all-too-vividly, I clutched the armrests tightly, though I forced my eyes to stay open. Cynical as the thought was, I had subconsciously decided that I didn't want to die with my eyes closed, should we crash during or just after takeoff. Thankfully, my cynicism was completely unfounded, and soon we were sailing through the skies as smoothly as if we had never crashed at all.

"What're you going to Traverse Town for?" Sora asked Vincent once we were in the clear to remove our seatbelts.

"Phone." He said.

"You don't have a phone?" I asked.

"Didn't you just get one?" Cid called back.

"Yuffie got a hold of the number." Vincent explained with a slight grimace.

Cid laughed.

"That's a little harsh." Sora said. "Yuffie's really nice!"

"Exactly." Vincent said.

"He just doesn't like her because she's calls him 'Vinny' and is always sugar high." Cid teased.

Vincent snorted, obviously of the belief that that was enough reason for anyone, but said nothing.

"So, um, you and Cid?" Hayner asked, breaking the silence that fell over us.

"Sometimes." Vincent shrugged, but there was this _look_ in his eyes as he glanced up toward where Cid was that…I don't know how to describe it. The words 'want' and 'desire' are too weak to even begin, but it was something akin to those emotions. I…kind of wished someone would look at me like that.

Not that I'd have ever fucking admitted it.

"Got a problem with that?" Cid asked.

"No, no!" Hayner said hurriedly, holding his hands up defensively. "I just…I've never actually met anyone who's gay before, much less…you know."

I blinked and tried not to be too obvious as I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. I had more or less accepted that I was gay, but I had never come out to anyone even if I was fairly sure that Fuu had guessed. I couldn't really come out, back in Twilight Town—not as long as my dad was around. I knew it was irrational to be afraid of what some homophobic drunk thought or would do if he found out, but it was my _dad_. That sort of thing changes all of the usual rules. And there hadn't been any reason to come out to anyone so far on this little 'adventure.'

"It's not really a big deal." Sora said with a nonchalant shrug.

"I didn't say it was." Hayner said. "I just said I've never met anyone who's gay before."

"And now you have." I said. "So?"

"So, what? It's not like I meant anything by it!" He snapped irritably. "I was just wondering!"

"Why?" Sora asked.

"Because I was curious. Is that a fucking crime?" He asked. "It's not really talked about in Twilight Town—like, at all—so…I haven't really been exposed to any of it. I don't even know how it _works_."

"You like penis instead of vagina." Cid said bluntly.

"I'm not _stupid_." He growled. "I meant…I meant the…the _mechanics_ of it."

"Sex." I supplied. "You don't know how gay sex works."

He blushed and shook his head.

"It's the same as hetero sex, except there's lube and a prostate gland and an ass instead of a cooch." Cid said, not at all embarrassed by the subject. "Well, sometimes there's lube in hetero sex, too, but there's more in gay sex."

"Okay, okay, I get it!" Hayner said, his entire face red (if you must know, Sora and I were blushing a little, too). "God…I can't believe we're having this conversation."

"You started it." Sora pointed out.

"I just asked if Cid and Vincent were together! I didn't ask for a friggin' 'birds and the birds' lecture!" Hayner said.

"I think it's 'bees and the bees,' actually." I said helpfully.

"Oh, fuck off." He turned his back on all of us, huffily crossing his arms over his chest.

I chuckled and pulled out the pad of paper I'd filched earlier, sketching him.

"You sure do draw Hayner a lot." Sora said, giving me a curious look.

"He's expressive." I said. "So are you, actually, but you're mostly just ridiculously cheerful and that gets old real fast. I…well, I mostly suck at drawing expressions, and I want to get better."

"Why?" Vincent asked.

"Because I want to do nude art." I said.

"You…what?" Hayner jolted out of his funk.

"I want to draw naked people." I said, frowning at the loss of my model. "And with that sort of stuff you have to be really good at expressions and poses or else it either sucks or looks like something out of a porn mag, which isn't what nude art is about."

"Oh?" Cid sounded amused.

"It's…shit, this is going to sound so fucking stupid out loud." I groaned, tugging agitatedly at my beanie. "Nude art is a study of the body. It's not about sex, really, it's about…raw expression. Like…ah, I can't really explain it. It's like…when you have on clothes, it's easy to get your point across. You can use them to help you show what you're trying to feel. Dark clothes are more melancholy or angry, and bright clothes are happy, and this cut does that and another style shows something else. But with nude art you have to express yourself without the help of any sort of prop, _plus_ you have to work so that people don't think you're drawing porn or whatever. So…" I trailed off, realizing that everyone was staring at me, and ducked my head a little, finishing quickly with, "So you have to be good with expressions and poses."

No one said anything for a moment.

"I can tell you're passionate about it." Cid said finally.

I rolled my shoulders up in a dismissive shrug. "Your passion is flying. Mine's art. We all have _something_ , right? Something we put our heart and soul into?" Inwardly, I winced. Could I have possibly sounded more like some goddamn woman?

At the same time, though, it gave me a little food for thought. Hayner didn't have a soul, right? So could he be passionate about something? Had he been passionate about something before he lost his heart and, consequently, his soul? If I found that, would I find his soul, as well?

"Right." Vincent agreed, directing an almost imperceptible smile at Cid.

Hmm…there was a thought. What if Hayner had been passionate about a _person_ in his past life?

"I think it's pretty cool." Hayner said, giving me a strange look. It was kind of like Vincent's earlier look in that I couldn't tell you exactly what it meant, but completely different in that it didn't have anything to do with desire.

"Yeah. You're lucky to have found something to be passionate about." Sora said. "I…don't know what I'm passionate about, yet."

"What about your friends?" Cid asked. "You seemed passionate about them back when you were looking for them, and now, too."

"Can a person be passionate about more than one thing? Or person?" Sora asked.

Oh, God, could they? Had Hayner?

I looked down at the ring Persephone had given me, tuning out of the conversation. Was this thing going to lead me on some wild goose chase all over the worlds to find the things Hayner used to be passionate about?

And what if it _had_ been a person? Or several persons? Friends? A lover? Would he return to them? Would he…would he leave me alone?

Because that's where I would be, if he left. Alone, I mean.

Someone laughing at me pulled me out of my thoughts, and I found Hayner looking at me.

"You should draw yourself, sometime." Hayner said. "To practice expressions."

I gave him a dry look. "And how, exactly, do you propose I do that? Keep a mirror in front of my face all the time? I'm not Narcissus, lamer."

"Could've fooled me." He said cheekily.

"I'm arrogant, not narcissistic, thank you very much." I said indignantly. "There's a difference."

"And what, pray tell, is that?" He asked.

"An arrogant person is obsessed with their abilities. A narcissistic person is obsessed with their looks." I said. "I know very well that I'm nothing special to look at, but I am also quite sure and proud of the fact that I'm _damn_ good at the things I do well—art and fighting."

"So why had I never seen any art of yours until the contest two days ago?" He asked.

"Two words, chickenwuss: my dad." I said. "I already told you he's an asshole."

"Yeah, so? If you're as passionate about art as you seem to be, why should you let your dad stop you?" He asked. "And you're a good fighter, too, so it's not like you couldn't defend yourself against him at the very least."

"It's different with him, okay?" I said, clenching my teeth together. "I can't…against him, I just…I can't do anything. It's easier to just…pretend I don't paint anymore."

"Since when have you let _anyone_ get in your way before?" He demanded. "You're not a fucking coward, Seifer! Why should one guy—"

"Because he's my dad, alright?" I cut him off. "I don't fucking _know_ why I can't stand up to him. Hell, maybe the only reason I'm not a fucking coward usually is because I'm compensating for not being able to stand up to him. I just don't know, okay? So just fucking drop it."

"But—"

"Have you ever tried standing up to _your_ dad?" I asked. "Seriously, have you? Maybe your dad doesn't care if you break away from whatever 'plan' he has for you, if he has one for you, but my dad does. He expects me to become a professional Struggler or…or to go off and work in a mill or some bullshit like that, and marry some okay looking bitch and have some god awful number of kids." I said. "And even if he _wouldn't_ beat my ass black and blue for doing anything else, how am I supposed to disappoint him by doing something else? Am I just supposed to go up to him and say 'oh, hey dad, sorry but I can't fulfil your dreams of having a successful son because I would rather be a goddamn starving artist. Oh, and by the way, I won't be getting married or any of that bullshit either because, hey, guess what? I'd rather suck cock than go within twenty fucking miles of a cunt.' And then what? Do you expect him to just say, 'oh, sure, Seifer, I don't mind if you ruin my plans of a comfy retirement bouncing grandbabies on my knee! Go ahead and throw your fucking life away! And of _course_ I don't mind if you take it up the ass, because you're my son and I love you.'" I sneered at the very thought. "And then we'll just live happily fucking after? That's not the way the world fucking _works_ , lamer. My dad would rather see me wasting away in a fucking cubicle getting a steady paycheck than doing what I love making fucking pennies. He'd fucking disown me—at the very _least_ —if he knew I'd so much as _thought_ about touching a paintbrush again! And god for-fucking-bid he _ever_ finds out I'm gay, because I can fucking assure you he'd rather see me _dead_. Hell, he'd prefer to see me in some loveless marriage impregnating the bitch that married me with a goddamn _turkey baster_ than for me to be gay."

Hayner's mouth hung open dumbly.

"And the fact of the matter is: my dad's an abusive fuck already _without_ knowing any of that shit. And I won't…I _can't_ fight back against him because he's my _father_ , and no matter what he does or how wrong I know it is I can't get past that. It's stupid and fucked up and I _know_ that—I _do_ —but I just can't do it. I can't disappoint him and…and crush his dreams for me. And maybe that makes me a coward, or a lamer, or what the fuck ever, but that's the way it damn well is. So please, _please_ , Hayner, tell me what in the hell you think I can do about it, because I don't fucking see anything."

No one said anything, and finally—after turning my fierce glare on each of them in turn—I sighed and leaned back in my chair.

"It doesn't even fucking matter, I guess." I said. "He already knows I paint, by now."

"…Why?" Hayner asked hesitantly.

"Miss Astor said that if I won the contest she'd tell everyone it's my painting. And _you_ saw the other shit that was up. What're the chances that I lost?" I asked, a lump forming in my throat as I buried my head in my hands. "Shit, my dad's gonna _crucify_ me."

"We aren't gonna let him hurt you, Seifer." Sora said soothingly.

I laughed bitterly. "Sure."

"We aren't." Cid insisted. " _You_ might be scared of the drunk fuck, but I sure as hell ain't."

I just grunted, suddenly feeling sick to my stomach.

"There's Traverse Town." Cid said, seeming to realize that I wasn't going to suddenly grow a pair just because they thought they could or would help.

"Let's stay the night." Hayner said. "We're all tired after…after everything, and it's getting kind of late anyhow, so we might as well."

Cid and Sora mumbled their agreement. Vincent, predictably enough, stayed quiet. He was staying in Traverse Town, after all, so he didn't really have any right to agree or disagree. Plus, he was probably hoping we _would_ stay the night, so that he and Cid could…spend it together.

As for me…I was dreading our eventual return to Twilight Town too much to care whether or not it was that day or the next or another week later.

Suddenly, I wished everyone _would_ forget Hayner and I.


	12. Subolescare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Subolescare (to grow up, mature)

" _With open arms, I am crying. With open arms, I'm going down. Wind blows my joy away, help me out of these mournful days…starlight from the sky—lead my heart and tell me why. Too many days I had no faith. I wish I had someone to blame." –Caliban, 'Another Cold Day'_

I'm going to skip over our little detour in Traverse Town, because mostly nothing happened. Cid may or may not have gotten laid (and by 'may or may not' I mean 'most definitely did.' Several times. And in case you were wondering, Vincent isn't nearly as quiet in bed as he is the rest of the time), and Sora, Hayner and I may or may not have rough housed with a hundred and one dalmatians. (Sadly, I'm only joking a little. There were a ridiculous amount of the little spotted bastards.) In regards to our mission, I had told them Persephone's 'hints' about Miss Astor's true identity, but none of them had been able to make any more sense out of them than I had. They didn't know anyone by that name, and the meaning for it didn't hold any significance to them, either.

I was beginning to think that Persephone was more like her husband than I had thought.

Right. So since nothing of any particular interest happened (that is to say, nothing that would fail to embarrass or scar me), I'm skipping all the way to when we arrived in Twilight Town.

It was quiet when we arrived. That was probably because we were in the fucking woods next to the mansion, and everything is quiet out there, but that isn't the point. The point is that it was goddamn quiet. And the point to _that_ point is that when things get quiet, our group was set on edge. And when our group gets set on edge, Sora decides to try and make things better.

That, of course, means that he started talking about anything and everything with no regard to his dignity or our sanity.

"…So then when I was eight years old I got my lips stuck in the gate behind my house, and Riku and Kairi laughed at me, and I just stood there until the fire department came and broke the lock with a crowbar and I had to spend the next six weeks in lip rehab with this kid named Oscar who got stung by a bee right on the lip and we couldn't even talk to each other until the fifth week because both our lips were _so_ swollen, and when he _did_ start speaking he just spoke polish and I only knew like three words in polish except now I know four because Oscar taught me the word for lip: 'Usta!'" Sora gave us a sunny smile, as if to deny the fact that he was putting us through the worst verbal torture I had ever been subjected to in my entire life—including high school.

"If someone doesn't shut him up, I'm gonna send him back to the fucking hospital." I gritted out, gnashing my teeth and shoving my hands as deep into my pockets as they would go in hopes that that would stop me from carrying out my threat.

"Calm down, twerp." Cid murmured to me, though he looked like he might have been as annoyed as I felt. He put a hand on my shoulder and squeezed.

Ah! _There's_ something that had happened at Traverse Town. Or, rather, that had been happening ever since we picked Cid up in Radiant Gardens. He had started calling us all odd, but strangely touching (shit, that sounded really goddamn girly), nicknames. I was 'twerp (obviously), Hayner had become 'kid,' and Sora turned into 'sky-boy.' Sora's was both practically and literally true, and made me smirk a little every time I heard it; especially when he got upset about it.

It was weird, because I accepted the name as easily as if I had always been called that, whereas usually I'd have tried to kick his ass for it. (Actually, scratch that. I _would have_ kicked his ass for it.) And not just because nicknames are one of the most annoying goddamn inventions anyone had ever thought up. It was also because my dad always called me 'boy,' so nicknames like those really rankled on my nerves. They made me feel like the person was talking down to me, which is one of my biggest pet peeves.

Perhaps even more bizarre than my uncharacteristic acceptance of the name, was the fact that his hand on my shoulder actually fucking calmed me down. And to clarify a bit: Fuu was the only person who had ever been able to do that. Well, and sometimes Rai, but only once in a blue moon. When anyone else even tried, I generally turned on them instead.

"Hmph." I grunted, trying to salvage whatever I could from the strange occurrence.

"Where should we go first?" Hayner asked, looking at me. "School?"

I nodded. "Sounds good to me."

The great thing about that decision, of course, was that Twilight High was situated just outside of the woods. So we only had to go traipsing a short way before we had reached our destination.

"Where to?" Sora asked as we walked in.

"Let's check out the art room first. If she isn't there, she's probably—" I began, but stopped at the unmistakable sound of flesh hitting flesh, followed shortly by a shocked and frightened and hurt scream. "The fuck…?"

"You conniving _bitch_!"

My blood turned to ice water in my veins.

It was my father's voice.

Not caring what the others did or said or thought or what the fuck ever, I took off down the hall toward the library, where the noises had come from. To recap a little, it was also where the art exhibit was.

"Dad!" I exclaimed as I ran into the room.

He turned on me—the imposing figure that starred in nearly every single one of my nightmares. He had blond hair, like mine, short and neater than hair had any right to be. His eyes, though, were such a dark brown that they almost looked black—a fitting color for him, even if they were glazed over in a drunken haze more often than not. His face was sharper than mine, if slightly gaunt from years of work and stress, and he was burlier even than Rai. But he was damn fast, for a drunk. Hardly seeming to move, he suddenly stood before me, hand shooting forward and grabbing my neck, lifting me up as easily as if I was Miss Astor.

"You lying bastard." He growled in my face. His breath smelled strongly of liquor, as it usually did, though I could have sworn that I smelled his anger, too, it was that palpable.

"D-Dad, I—"

"Gave up on that artsy-fartsy bullshit, did you?" He asked, striding over to where my painting was with me still firmly in his grasp. "Explain this, then, you pansy-assed mother fucker!"

He slammed me into the canvas, and I saw stars as my head broke through it and hit the wall it was hung on. He held me there, like I was supposed to be able to see the picture better when I was quite literally inside the thing.

"Now, doesn't that look like art to you?" He asked, his voice deceptively calm. " _Doesn't it_?"

"Y-yessir." I choked out. Spots were appearing in my vision, from both my recently incurred concussion and the fact that he was suffocating me.

He jerked me away from the wall and threw me down onto the floor. I rolled a little and stood up, inching my way away from where Miss Astor lay, watching us with wide, terrified eyes. I was hoping to get her out of trouble by letting myself take on all of his anger. I was used to it, after all.

Before I could really get my bearings straight, though, his fist smashed into my nose, sending me careening backward into the wall. My beanie fell off.

This is the scene Hayner, Cid, and Sora walked into a scant moment later, just as Dad kicked me in the stomach.

"What the hell?" Hayner exclaimed furiously. "Get the fuck away from him, you asshole!"

"Stay out of this, Hayner." I forced myself to say, wishing that my voice didn't sound quite as desperate as it did. I didn't want any of them to see it (especially Hayner, and not just because he was my rival), but I definitely didn't want them getting involved.

"And who's this?"

I gasped as Dad grabbed my hair and jerked on it, standing on my tiptoes to try and lessen the strain on my scalp.

"This your fuck buddy?" He asked. "I should have known you were an art-loving cock-sucker all along!"

"Dad, please." I said, fighting back the pained tears in my eyes as his grip on my hair tightened.

"I _said_ get the fuck away from him!" Hayner said, stepping forward.

"Hayner, don't—"

"Shut up, boy!" Dad said, tossing me to the floor again. Running purely on self-preservation instincts, now, I started to curl up into the fetal position. Dad brought his foot down cruelly, standing on my side with no apparent intentions to move.

"Dad, stop it." Shit, I was seriously _crying_. In front of everyone—in front of _Hayner_. And I know you're wondering why I wasn't fucking doing something about it. Hell, sometimes _I_ wonder why I didn't do anything. And yeah, it was stupid and irrational, but like I had told the others: this man was my father. He was an asshole and a drunk, but he was still my flesh and blood; half of him had made me. Besides, he hadn't always been like this. Before Mom died…well, everything was different before Mom died. And part of me still hoped beyond all hope that he would go back to that someday. It was that part that kept me from retaliating; the part of me that was still a naïve little kid that thought that parents could do no wrong, and that, consequently, I must have deserved every punishment he dished out.

"Don't you call me 'dad,' boy. I didn't raise no faggot." He said, leaning on his foot. "Enjoy taking it up the ass, do you? You must be a good hole—you sure as hell ain't good for anything else! There's no other reason for anyone to want you, you useless bitch!"

Hayner made a furious noise somewhere between a snarl and a roar, but Cid sprang forward before he could, pinning my father to the wall with his spear.

"Listen up, you no good son of a bitch." Cid said in a voice I had never heard anyone use before. "If you _ever_ lay a hand on him again, I swear on the Lifestream I'll pull your intestines out of your ass and feed them to you."

"What do you care about that little shit?" Dad wheezed, having had the breath knocked out of him when Cid attacked him.

Cid leaned in, looking for all the world like a wolf closing in on its prey. "I care because that 'little shit' has done more in the past three days than you've done in your entire worthless goddamn life. I care because _Seifer_ is a good kid, and I don't want you to fucking ruin that by beating it out of him. And I care because homophobic jackasses like you piss me the fuck off." Cid said, and released him roughly. "So why don't you run back home to your booze like the coward you are?"

Dad snorted and brushed himself off, sneering down at me as he passed.

"Dad…Dad, I'm sorry." I said as I pushed myself up off the floor and stood, reaching toward him. Because part of me was _still_ wishing he would go back to the way he was before Mom died. "I didn't mean—"

He slapped my hand away. "Don't fucking call me that. You're no son of mine."

I flinched.

"If you don't want him, I'll take him. He's too fucking good for you." Cid said, pushing him none-too-gently toward the door. "Now piss off, ass wipe."

Snorting, he left. He didn't look back.

"You okay, Seifer?" Sora asked, turning concerned eyes on me.

I grabbed my beanie, wiping my eyes almost violently. "'M fine." I said, turning to where Miss Astor still sat. "Miss Astor?"

She moved even faster than my father had, and I stiffened as I found her arms suddenly wrapped surprisingly tight around me.

"I am so, so sorry." She said, bursting into tears. "I had no idea he was—it's no wonder you never wanted to show anyone your art!"

"It's not a big deal, Miss Astor." I said, shrugging her off. I hated being around crying chicks—it always made me feel guilty and awkward. I smirked at her when she looked up at me. "Seriously, it isn't. Are you alright?"

She frowned at me for a moment, then sighed disappointedly. "I'm fine." She said almost snappily (almost, because Miss Astor never got angry at anyone, it seemed). Then she looked at our ragtag little group with a pensive expression on her face. "You're here about the Queen."

"I thought you might know something, because of that art project we had last semester." I said.

She nodded. "She's using the heartless to gather hearts." She said. "And she's using the hearts to keep herself young and beautiful." She shuddered. "I much preferred the Organization, or even Xehanort and Maleficent. The Queen is a thoroughly despicable human being—if she can be considered a human anymore."

"Yeah, well, she's what we're dealing with now." I said. "So what do we have to do to beat the stupid bitch?"

She let out a tinkling laugh, shaking her head at me. "I can't help but wonder, sometimes, why I like you so much." She said, patting my shoulder gently. "No matter, I suppose."

"Miss Astor, we really do need to know how to beat her." Sora said.

"I can't tell you that." She said apologetically. "All I can tell you is that when Seifer has found what he's looking for, he'll know what he needs to do."

"Oh, great." Hayner snorted. "Let's leave the fate of the universe in _Seifer's_ hands. This bodes well."

"Better my hands than _yours_ , chickenwuss." I retorted.

"Oh yeah? Well fuck you, jerk off. Fuck. You." He said.

"Well aren't _we_ original today?"

"Boys." Miss Astor said sternly.

"Isn't there anything else you can tell us, ma'am?" Sora asked.

She hesitated. "Well…I'm not really supposed to do any more." She said. She looked at me. "Did Persephone tell you how the ring works?"

"All she said was 'follow the leader.' Whatever in the hell _that's_ supposed to mean." I said.

She giggled. "You haven't been able to figure it out, then?"

"No, I enjoy being as vague as women apparently do." I said, annoyed.

"Think about what you're trying to find, Seifer." She said.

I frowned, then looked at Hayner, who blinked at me and cocked his head to one side.

She giggled again, then shoved me gently, causing me to stumble forward a little, grabbing Hayner's arm to help regain my balance.

The ring burned on my thumb suddenly. Startled, I looked down at it just in time to see it glow. A small beam of light burst from it, pointing straight up.

"You're kidding, right?" I deadpanned, eyes following the light.

"I'm afraid not, dear heart." She said, not seeming at all apologetic. "He's been leading you from the beginning, you know."

Hell yeah, I knew, and didn't like it one goddamn bit. Hayner _had_ been doing the leading—he was the one who made me fully remember Roxas, the one who dragged me to the mansion, the one who got me sucked into Space Paranoids…hell, _he_ (his soul, at least) was the reason I was _on_ this half-baked 'quest.'

"What're you talking about?" Hayner asked. "Seifer doesn't let _anyone_ lead him; he never has!"

I rolled my eyes. "Shut up and let's go, lamer."

"I rest my fucking case." He muttered, making a face at me, but looked at Miss Astor instead of following me. "Say…who are you? Persephone told Seifer that one of us knows you, and that your name means 'a star,' but we can't figure it out."

She smiled impishly. "I believe that what she said was 'someone traveling with you knows me.'" She said. "And you haven't thought of everyone, yet."

"Donald or Goofy?" Sora asked hesitantly.

She shook her head. "Someone else, Sora. He's been traveling with you the entire time." She pointed down at Sora's pants.

"She's talking about me!"

And from one of Sora's pockets hopped a fucking _cricket_. A _talking_ cricket. That wore _clothes_.

"Jiminy Cricket." Miss Astor said with another smile. "It's been a long time."

"I…I suppose it has, ma'am. But I'm afraid I don't know who you are." Jiminy looked sheepish. A sheepish cricket looks almost as ridiculous as an angry Hayner. Not nearly as cute, though, but you didn't hear that from me.

She put her hands on her hips. "You've forgotten me, have you?" She asked, sounding more amused than angry. "And have you lost the medal I gave you, as well? I'm disappointed in you, Jiminy."

Jiminy blinked rather owlishly. "The…you're the Blue Fairy?"

"The Blue Fairy?" I asked. "My art teacher is the goddamn _Blue Fairy_? As in: 'I'll make you a real boy' Blue Fairy?"

She nodded. "That's right."

Hayner wrinkled his nose. "I'm going to go back to the ship and sleep. Wake me up when things make sense again." He said.

"Agreed." I said, following when he started toward the door.

"Hayner really _is_ leading him." Cid mused.

I shot him a glare that would have made a lesser man burst into tears. Cid, that asshole, just grinned at me.

"Oh, but before I forget." Miss Astor—the Blue _fucking_ Fairy—said. "Donald and Goofy have been delayed. You'll meet up with them eventually, I'm sure, but it'll be a while, yet."

Sora sighed sadly. "Oh, well."

"Don't give up hope." She said, but she seemed to be talking to me now instead of Sora. When she continued, she was definitely talking to me. "And don't stop dreaming, Seifer."

I shook my head. "Why? I've gotta grow up sometime, Miss Astor."

She looked brokenhearted. "You're growing up too fast."

"Shit happens." I said.

"Okay, okay, stow the sad talk you guys. Jesus." Hayner said, impatient. "And let's _go_ before something _else_ happens!"

Miss Astor started to say something else, reaching toward me, but stopped and shook her head. "Follow the leader, Seifer."

"Fuck off, Miss Astor." I gritted out as Cid laughed.

Dealing with women like her made me glad I was gay.


	13. Desiderium

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Desiderium (wish, longing; regret, grief; want, need)

" _I'm back in town and everything has changed. I feel let down, the faces stay the same. I see shadows of who we used to be. When I drive so slow through this memory." –Yellowcard, 'Shadows and Regrets'_

"Seifer!"

We all turned to Fuu, who had called after me, followed by Rai and Vivi. Even though I had mostly resigned myself to the idea that they had probably disappeared, I still felt a burst of relief go through my chest at the sight of them.

"You're still here." I said when they reached me, trying not to let that relief show in my voice.

She slapped me.

I jerked back a little, surprised, as she pointed a finger at me. She opened her mouth a little as if to say something, then closed it again and shook her head.

"You didn't tell us you were leaving, y'know?" Rai translated her silence. "We didn't know what happened to you, y'know?"

"We were afraid your dad did something again." Vivi piped up. "And then when we heard him yelling…"

"Nothing hap…" I trailed off, seeing Hayner frown at me. "Well, I'm fine."

Fuu snorted, then rather viciously jabbed my sides with her fingers. I couldn't help the pained yelp that escaped my lips as she hit almost the exact spot where my dad had kicked and stomped on my side.

"Dammit, Fuu!" I cursed, rubbing my side.

"Off." She said, putting her hands on her hips.

Sighing and rolling my eyes, I slipped my coat off, followed closely by my vest. I heard a few gasps from Hayner, Cid, and Sora as the huge, still not completely formed bruise on my side and back was revealed. Rai shook his head disappointedly.

"The less hurt he acts, the more hurt he is, y'know?" He said, handing Fuu some sort of cream that was supposed to be good for bruises. They kept a pretty steady supply of the stuff on hand at all times.

"Idiot." Fuu added in that monotonous voice of hers that made you wonder if she was being serious or was just teasing. Maybe both.

"That much is obvious." Hayner said. "Goddammit, Seifer, why didn't you tell us you were this fucking hurt, you friggin'…ugh!"

"I have a high tolerance for pain, so I don't think about it, okay?" I said irritably. My head was starting to hurt.

Another snort from Fuu. " _Stubborn_."

"I'm— _oww_ , stop fucking doing that, woman!—not stubborn." I said, hissing when she poked me again.

"You need to _start_ thinking about it, then, stubborn or not." Hayner scolded.

"Of course, _mother_ , I'll get right the fuck on it." I said tersely.

His jaw clenched. "Look, Seifer, you keep talking about defending me or what the fuck ever, right? Now, how in the hell are you gonna do that if you don't look after yourself, first? And for that goddamn matter, you need to let other people— _us_ —look after you, too. We're in this shit _together_ , remember? We give and damn well _get_ ; that's how it's always been even when we fucking hated each other."

"Fuu, that's all you're gonna fucking get done, so back the fuck off." I snapped, standing jerkily as she sighed and did what she was told. Then I turned on Hayner. "As for _you_ —I've been taking good care of myself so damn far, so I sure as hell don't need a chickenwuss like you to fucking 'look after me,' alright?"

" _That's_ taking good care of yourself?" He practically screeched, pointing at the bruise on my side. "That's _bullshit_ and you _know_ it! You're such a goddamn—"

"Why do you even fucking _care_ , lamer?" I demanded. "We hate each other, remember?"

"Oh, come off it!" He scoffed. "We haven't hated each other practically since this stupid goddamn _adventure_ or whatever in the hell it is started—if we hadn't already stopped before that! And _I_ care for the same reason that _you_ apparently care, alright?"

"And what reason is that?" I sneered.

"Because…because you're real." He seemed unsure of himself for a moment, but quickly picked up his momentum again. "And if you're so fucking _stupid_ that you can't even stand up to your dad when you _know_ that what he's doing is wrong…I mean, Jesus Christ, Seifer! You know it's all wrong and you're not even _trying_ to stop it!"

"I _can't_." I said.

"Bullshit." He said. "You're Seifer friggin' Almasy. And I refuse to believe that a guy who can kick my ass seven ways from Wednesday can't even stand up to a fucking drunk."

"He's my _father_ , Hayner."

"Is he?"

We stopped glaring at each other in favor of looking over at a (surprisingly) thoughtful Sora, who was frowning and tapping his chin with a finger.

"Is who, what?" I asked.

"Is that guy really your dad?" He asked.

"…The fuck are you talking about?" Hayner asked, wrinkling his nose.

"Well…I mean, you guys aren't really from Twilight Town, right?" He asked. As he tried to relate his thoughts to us, I could almost physically see the gears grinding in his head. "So…like, I know Rai and Fuu don't really exist here. So I was just wondering if that guy is really your dad, or just some Twilight citizen with his memory twisted around…or something like that. Because you keep saying you can't stand up to him because he's your dad, right? But if he isn't really your dad…then that wouldn't be a problem anymore, would it?"

Everyone stared at him.

"That…actually makes sense." Hayner said, gobsmacked.

Sora made a face at him.

"If I can get to a computer, I can find out." Cid offered.

"He could use the one in the mansion." Hayner added as they all looked at me expectantly.

I shook my head. "You don't have to find out anything. He really is my dad."

"You don't know that." Hayner insisted.

"Yes, I do, just like I know that Sora is also Roxas and Leon is also Squall Leonhart." I said. "As much as I wish Sora was right, he really is my dad. I don't know how, but he is. Maybe Ansem made him out of my memories or something, but it's the same damn thing either way." Agitated suddenly, I waved my arms around, half-heartedly motioning at everything. "I mean, maybe all of _this_ just…just repeated my former life but with a different rival and a different setting or what the fuck ever. Either way…either way, it doesn't fucking matter, because we're leaving now, right? And there'll probably never be any reason for me to come back and see him again, whether he's my real dad or my fake dad or…both."

"So you're just gonna fucking _run away_?" Hayner asked incredulously.

"I…don't know. I guess so. I really just…don't give a fuck anymore."

"You can't. Seifer, you _can't_." He said.

"Yeah, I can. And I will." I said. "Maybe someday I'll come back, after all of this is over and I've had time to…to adjust to everything that's going on, but for right now…I'm _tired_ , Hayner."

"No. _No_." He said. "You can't…I mean, you're too strong to just…just _give up_."

I scowled. "Yeah? Well maybe I'm fucking _sick_ of being strong. Of fighting and struggling and going through all of this _bullshit_. I'm just…I'm so… _tired_ …" And suddenly, I really _was_ tired—physically as well as mentally and emotionally. I guess all of the adrenaline from before was finally wearing off, or something. With a sigh, I put a hand to my head. "Look, lamer…I'll have to face him someday. Probably. Maybe. But for now…for now we've got enough shit to deal with without throwing my fucked up home life into the mix."

He opened his mouth to argue some more, but for some reason seemed to think better of it and instead let out a low, frustrated growl and shook his head. "Fine. Whatever." He said finally. "I…I'd like to go say goodbye to my folks, and Olette and Pence. You want to come, Sora?" He asked, very carefully avoiding my gaze.

"Yeah, sure." Sora said quietly, oddly subdued. He gave me an apprehensive look, then he and Hayner walked off.

"It'll be okay, y'know?" Rai asked, putting a hand on my arm.

"You think I need you to tell me that?" I huffed, looking at Vivi so I wouldn't have to see Rai and Fuu's sympathetic looks. Those two drove me fucking barmy sometimes. "Go back to class, shrimp."

Vivi giggled, having long since grown used to my gruff ways of showing I cared. "You got it!" He said in that ridiculously high-pitched voice of his (I mean, what the hell? He was in _high school_ and sounded like a fucking first grader), then turned and scampered back into the school building.

I turned to Rai and Fuu. "You guys…will you disappear?"

They exchanged a glance.

"Eventually." Fuu said.

"Once we're not useful anymore, y'know?" Rai said.

"Well, make yourselves useful, then." I snapped. "Make sure Vivi doesn't fuck anything up, alright? Watch out for the little brat."

They nodded. A corner of Cid's mouth quirked upward. I ignored the bastard.

"And look after the chickenwuss's lame friends, while you're at it." I added. "He'll get bitchy if something happens to them, and he's bitchy enough as it is."

Fuu rolled her eyes.

"And…" I hesitated, rubbing the back of my neck. "Watch out for my old man, too, okay?"

"Seifer." Fuu scowled at me.

"I know he's an asshole and all, but he's still my dad." I said, just like I always did when he came up in conversation. Why couldn't I just…let him go? "And I'm not asking you to go out of your way or anything, just…if you see that he's in trouble, and you can help him…then help him. Please."

They looked at each other again, and nodded, though neither of them were happy about it. Then, with a short wave, they went back inside. I sighed as they disappeared from sight.

"C'mon, twerp." Cid said. "If you don't have anything else to do, we might as well go back to the ship to wait for the other two."

I shook my head. "Let's go to the cemetery first."

(PAGEBREAK,Y'KNOW?)

"This…is my mom." I said, putting a hand on the gravestone.

"Mrs. Almasy." Cid said with a respectful nod of his head.

"Edea." I said. "Her name was Edea."

He didn't say anything, but nodded again.

"I don't…think she was ever really my mom." I added. I wasn't sure if I was talking to Cid, still, or just myself. He stayed quiet either way. "So I guess she only exists in my memories now, huh?"

"Maybe she existed before." Cid suggested. "And she was like your mother, or some shit like that. It would explain why you remember her."

I shrugged, kneeling next to the stone and leaning against it. "I'd like to think that…she existed somewhere. If my memories aren't all complete bullshit, I mean. She was a good person."

"I'm sure she was, twerp." He said.

I laughed bitterly. "I wonder what she'd think of me now."

He snorted. "If she had half a brain she'd be fucking proud of you. You're a good kid, even if you're a fucking idiot half the time."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence." I sneered.

"'S what I'm here for." He said, then stretched a little. "I'm gonna go on back to the ship."

I nodded wordlessly, closing my eyes and listening to his footsteps growing farther and farther away.

For a while after the sound of his footfalls faded away, everything was quiet.

"I'm sorry, Matron." I at last broke the silence as I stood up. I took my beanie off and hung it off the side of the gravestone. I straightened my back with a new sort of resolve and stuffed my hands in my pockets.

"Now." I said, forcing myself to smirk. "It's time to go blow some shit up."


	14. Unus Peregrinus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unus Peregrinus (Unparalleled Stranger)

" _I'm confident, but I can't pretend I wasn't terrified to meet you; I knew you could see right through me…" –Secondhand Serenade, 'Stranger'  
_

"Let me _go_! I've never even _heard_ of anyone named 'Riku,' and you have no right to keep me tied up like this!"

I scowled and picked my pace up a bit, turning the corner to the Sandlot—where the Gummi ship was—in time to see Hayner and Sora running in from a few alleyways down.

Another Gummi ship had joined ours, and sitting in front of it was a boy who really did look like that Riku kid Sora had left behind in Radiant Gardens. The only difference was that his hair was shorter, his vest zipped up and with inverted colors, and his pants were tighter (not tight, but tighter). Standing behind him were that walking and talking dog and duck Sora used to travel with, and off to the side Cid was shaking his head.

"The fuck's going on here?" I asked as I approached, Sora and Hayner close behind.

The boy looked at us with a relieved expression on his face. "Finally, _normal_ people! Tell these _things_ to let me go!"

Sora cocked his head to one side. "Riku?"

"I'm _not_ Riku!" The boy practically snarled, struggling so forcefully in his seat that it tipped over, sending him crashing sideways to the ground, still tied to the chair. "Dammit!"

"Careful, kid." Cid said, picking the boy up by the arms of the chair and setting him back upright.

"My name isn't 'kid,' either." The boy growled. "It's _René_."

"Okay, fine, René." I said. "Calm the fuck down, man." I looked at the animals. "Why in the hell is he tied up?"

The duck scowled at me…somehow. Could beaks really fucking bend like that? "He showed up at Disney Castle before we left, so we had to bring him with us. He looks like Riku, but says he isn't."

"And he kept tryin' to get away, hyuk." The dog said. "We thought he seemed a bit suspicious, but we didn't wanna hurt the little fella, so we tied him up."

I rolled my eyes (who the fuck refers to people as 'little fella' these days?), crouching in front of the Riku-doppelganger. "Look, René, we've got a lot of shit going on right now, so we can't fucking baby-sit you. But we can't let you go, either, so will you fucking stay put if I untie you?"

"The only reason I was trying to get away is because they kept calling me 'Riku' and acting like I was some kind of criminal or something." René said. "Would _you_ have stuck around?"

I chuckled and untied the knot in the rope, straightening as René stood up, rubbing his arms a little. Once the rope marks on his arms had started fading a bit (the rope had apparently been a little tighter than it was probably meant it to be), I offered him a hand. "Name's Seifer."

He shook my hand. "You're the first person to introduce yourself, too…except for that mouse."

"Don't talk about the king like that." The duck said, putting his hands on his hips (do ducks have hips? Or hands?).

"He isn't _my_ king." René snorted.

"Hey, hey!" Sora said, putting himself in between the two as the duck waved his magician's staff threateningly. "No fighting, you guys!" Then he gave René that far-too-cheerful smile of his. "I'm Sora! It's a pleasure to meet you, René!"

"You, too." René said, looking confused by the veritable ball of sunshine that made up Sora. I made a mental note to welcome him to the club sometime.

"And I'm Hayner." Hayner said with a short wave, earning a nod from the other.

"And those three are Donald, Goofy, and Cid." Sora added, motioning at the duck, the dog, and man, respectively.

René didn't even spare them a nod, instead crossing his arms over his chest. "So who's this 'Riku' guy? Is he, like, a criminal or something?"

"No, he's my best friend." Sora said. "I don't think they meant to treat you like that, it's just that…you _do_ look an awful lot like him. And since you acted so strangely…or would have been if you were actually him…well…" He trailed off with a shrug.

René nodded again, then unfolded his arms and put his hands on his hips. "Right. Well, I've been through enough weird crap so far." He said. He almost sounded borderline hysterical. "I mean, we've got talking animals, intergalactic airships, and people whose hair defies gravity with no sort of product that I can see, so why not? I'm some guy's random twin. I can accept that. Sure."

"Just wait until you see the heart;ess! Then you'll be _really_ confused!" Sora piped in helpfully. Optimistic little bastard.

René made a funny noise in the back of his throat, somewhere in between a snort and a whimper, and looked like he was about to faint.

"Sora, you aren't helping." I said, rolling my eyes at the boy in question.

"If you need a ride back to your world, you can hitch one with us." Hayner said.

René immediately snapped out of his near-hyperventilating stupor and shook his head violently. "I am _not_ riding in anything if either of those two," he pointed at Donald and Goofy, "are driving. The duck is insane and the thought of that dog behind the wheel scares the ever-loving shit out of me."

"Hey!" Donald squawked (no, seriously, he did—his feathers puffed up and everything. And just when I was starting to think of him as more human than duck…).

"Don't worry about it!" Sora said. "We're all riding together, now, so Cid's driving!"

René turned a suspicious look on Cid, but after a moment seemed to come to the conclusion that he was safe to ride with, since he just shrugged in response.

For some reason, standing there like that made me feel uncomfortable. I scowled.

"Let's get going." Hayner said before I could, tucking his arms behind his back. "Which ship are we taking?"

"Theirs is bigger." Cid said, pointing at the one Donald and Goofy had brought. "Let's go."

"Seifer!"

"Wait up, y'know!"

I turned just in time for Fuu to barrel into me, nearly sending us both to the ground.

"The hell, Fuu?" I asked, then pretty much had the damn breath knocked out of me as Rai wrapped his gargantuan arms around the both of us and lifted us up.

"You can't leave without saying goodbye this time, y'know?" He said as he set us back down.

Fuu nodded.

"You guys are such fucking saps, I swear." I scoffed, even though the smirk on my face was softer than it usually was.

Fuu fixed me with a determined look. "We…aren't real." She said, putting a hand over her heart. The words were a struggle for her to get out clearly—she usually only said one or two at a time because she had this weird speech impediment. She didn't like for people to know about it, so she only spoke a little bit so there was less chance of anyone finding out. And when she actually did say more then a few words, you knew it was important. "But…our feelings…are, Seifer."

"Yeah, I know." I said, even though I hadn't. "Thanks."

"Take…care of yourself." She said sternly, even as her eyes welled up with tears. "Come back to us…someday. Promise?"

For probably the first time since my mother had died, I willingly hugged someone. And fuck you if you think I was acting weird—Fuu more than anyone else had always been my best friend, in my fake memories and in those weird feelings I got, like the ones about Roxas and my dad and Squall. You have no fucking idea how important it was to me that she was actually talking so much to me, and saying the things she was saying.

A sniffle from Rai interrupted our little rot-your-fucking-teeth-with-sweetness moment, and Fuu and I grinned at him.

"Crybaby." Fuu said.

"I'm not crying, y'know?" He snapped, letting out another loud sniffle and wiping his eyes furiously on his forearm.

"Ah, jeez." Hayner snorted.

"Fuck off, lamer." I said, not even sparing him a glance as I gave my friends…or, well, pseudo-friends…a dry look. "I'll come back, you guys. I swear." A pause. "Unless I die, in which case I guess I—"

"If you die, Fuu will eat your soul, y'know?" Rai said.

I laughed. "Yeah, yeah."

"Devour it." Fuu confirmed with a grim nod.

"It hasn't happened yet." I said, ruffling her hair. "See you guys around, alright? I seriously have to get going now before the wuss blows a gasket." I jerked a thumb at Hayner.

Fuu grinned.

"Follow the leader, y'know?" Rai snickered.

I let out a sound that might have been a squawk but most definitely wasn't (I left that to the damn duck, thanks). "How do you know about that?" I looked at Hayner, demanding, "How do they know about that?"

"How the hell should I know?" He asked.

"We aren't real, y'know?" Rai said. "So we know stuff that real people don't, y'know?"

"No, I _don't_ fucking know!" I snarled. "Goddammit, why does everyone else but us know what in the fuck is going on?"

"Divine comedy." Fuu deadpanned.

"Oh, yeah, very fucking funny." I spat, then threw my hands up. "You know what? Whatever. What-the-fuck-ever. I don't even fucking care. Let's go, lamer."

"Hey, now, _I'm_ the leader, remember?" Hayner taunted, sauntering up into the ship ahead of me.

I muttered darkly, words I won't write down here lest some poor unsuspecting kid accidentally stumbles upon them. Let's just say I know some sailors and I live with a fucking drunkard. That's enough to give you a fucking idea, I'm sure.

"Do I want to know?" René asked hesitantly as he and the rest of us followed Hayner—the little snit—onto the ship.

"No." I bit out, flipping off Rai and Fuu when they laughed at me. (Okay, Rai laughed. But once you've known Fuu for as long as I have, you can tell when she's laughing even if she doesn't let out so much as a squeak. Which she doesn't. Ever. Trust me.)

"Where to?" Cid asked while we strapped ourselves on.

"Oh, yes, where to Oh Fearless Leader?" I sneered at Hayner.

He just grinned at me. Fucker. "We should probably take René home first, right?" We looked expectantly at the boy in question.

"I'd kind of like to stick around if you guys don't mind." René said.

"I don't know if that's such a good idea." Sora said. "We're on a mission, and it'll probably be really dangerous…"

René crossed his arms over his chest and smirked confidently. "I can take care of myself."

A strange look flashed across Sora's face, but it had come and gone so quickly that I thought I must have imagined it.

"Look, kid, I'm sure you can take care of yourself, but this isn't some sort of goddamn game." Cid said, regarding René and Sora with an odd expression. "We aren't gonna have time to baby-sit—"

"I can look after myself, too." René said. "Look, how about this: the minute I start getting in your way rather than making it easier, you can dump me back on my world and forget about me, no questions asked. Okay?"

The six of us—Hayner, Cid, Sora, Donald, Goofy, and me—exchanged a long glance before Cid nodded.

"Alright, kid. But the _second_ you slow us down…"

"You got it, captain." René saluted mockingly, plopping down in one of the chairs.

"That's _Cid_." Cid said, though I'm not sure why he didn't want to be called 'captain.' Maybe it was just the way René had said it.

"And I'm René." René retorted haughtily.

"Fine. René." Cid snapped, then directed his next statement at all of us. "Where are we going, before I just point at some random shit on the map and hope we don't implode?"

"Let's go back to Radiant Gardens." Sora piped up immediately. "We can…y'know, regroup and restock and all. Maybe find out why René looks like Riku or…I dunno, something."

"Good." Cid was already pressing buttons, looking distracted and mildly pissed. "But we'll have to take it slow and pray nothing attacks—this heap won't take much. I'll work on it when we get back home and I have all my shit handy."

"So we'll stay in Radiant Gardens for a while?" Hayner asked.

"You got a problem with that, kid?"

"Just curious." Hayner shrugged.

"Well, stop it." Cid said. "As a matter of fact, everyone might as well fuck off and take a nap for now; it's going to be a while before we get there." Without waiting for any of us to reply, he hit a switch, then leaned back in his chair and pulled his goggles down over his eyes.

"What a geezer." I murmured, though I followed suit. I reached up to cover my eyes with my beanie, then remembered that I had left the hat back in Twilight Town. With a sigh and a frown, I compensated by throwing an arm over my eyes.


	15. Commoveo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Commoveo (to move violently, disturb, shake, upset)

" _Fear is only in our minds but it's taking over all the time. You poor sweet innocent thing, dry your eyes and testify. You know you live to break me. Don't deny. Sweet sacrifice." –Evanescence, 'Sweet Sacrifice'_

"Seifer! Seifer, wake up!"

I muttered something sleepily, swatting at the hand that was shaking my shoulder as I sat up.

"Fuck's happenin'?" I slurred, yawning and scratching my head.

"Unfortunately, no." I heard Cid's amused voice say. "We're here."

"And we can't get Hayner to wake up." Sora added.

I gave him a disgruntled look. "What has _that_ got to do with anything?"

"Well, you've known him the longest." Sora said. "And…and I think he's having a nightmare, so he should wake up."

"Right." I said. I wasn't exactly the most articulate person in the mornings. I stood, shaking my head a little to clear it. (Not that that did anything but make me dizzy.) "Yo, lamer, wake up."

From his seat across the aisle from mine, Hayner made this funny half-groan, half-whimper of a sound. I sighed, exasperated.

"Lamer. Earth to lamer, wake the fuck up." I smacked his head. "Christ, and here I thought I was hard to wake up." I grabbed his shoulders and shook him lightly. "Oi, chickenwuss, get off your fat lazy ass and wake up before I fucking pour a bucket of cold water on you."

And then I saw something I really didn't need to see: a tear rolled down his face. Now, I know it's lame and weird and whatever else, but I cannot _stand_ to see anyone cry. Seriously, if I saw that Squall bastard or even that stupid bitch the Queen start crying, I'd fucking bend over backwards trying to get them to stop. It's one of the very few weaknesses I possess—which means that if you tell anyone and I find out about it (which I will, mind you), you are fucked. And not in the good way, either.

"Oh, hell." I cursed under my breath. I leaned over him, putting a hand on his cheek to wipe the tear off but leaving it there for some reason best left unnamed. "Chi—Hayner. Wake up, man, you're kind of freaking me out now." I slapped his cheek lightly. "I said wake up, Hayner."

Hayner's nose scrunched up and he took a deep breath the way people do when they've just woken up. His eyes fluttered open, blinking for a moment before focusing on me. That's about the time I realized how fucking close our faces were. One of his eyebrows arched upward.

"I hate to break it to you, but I'm not Sleeping Beauty and kissing me won't wake me up." He said as apologetically as he probably could with the way his damn mouth was trying to suppress a smile. "I know I've just crushed all of your dreams, Seifer. I'm sorry."

Asshole.

"I've met Sleeping Beauty!" Sora spoke up cheerfully. "She's really nice!"

"Shut up, Sora." I said, straightening (And yeah, I know—bad gay joke just waiting to happen). "And you," I pointed at Hayner, "Are nowhere _near_ cute enough to be Sleeping Beauty."

"And you're nowhere near hot enough to be my Prince Charming." Hayner shrugged. "That's the way of things, I guess."

I closed my eyes, trying really hard not to punch him like my fist was itching to do. And somehow, I managed to suppress the urge. For once. "Right, whatever. You have a nightmare or something?"

Hayner flinched and paled suddenly, though I don't think it had anything to do with me wanting to punch him. "Or…something." He murmured.

"Yeah? What about?"

"Nothing." He said, and changed the subject rather lamely. "Hey, are we at Radiant Gardens, yet?"

"Yes." I said irritably. "If it was nothing, why were you fucking crying, huh?"

"It's none of your business. Can I go, now, Mom? I need to talk to Aerith."

"You're the leader, remember? Do what you fucking want." I sneered.

"Don't tell me I hurt your feelings." He said, mimicking my tone.

"At least I _have_ feelings." I said, letting my eyes drop to his chest.

He followed my gaze, face contorting as he realized what I was talking about. "You…you know what? Fuck you, you prick!" He took a swing at me.

"Not even on a good day, lamer." I retorted as I dodged his fist and turned to leave. "I'm going to go see if Tron has any information about the Queen. You go cry your fucking heart out to Aerith, and let me know when you're finished, oh captain my goddamned captain."

"Go to hell!" He said.

"As long as you aren't there, it'd be my pleasure!" I said, and stormed out of the ship.

And don't give me that look. I know it was childish. I knew that even back then. The thing is, I didn't fucking care. I was too pissed off and vindictive and just plain filled-with-teenage-angst to care. Just call me Harry fucking Potter—I even have a scar on my forehead.

I stomped—yeah, _stomped_ , like a petulant five-year-old—all the way to that stupid damn castle where the computer was. And luckily for me, the Asshole (a.k.a. Squall) was nowhere in sight. I didn't want to deal with that son of a bitch on top of everything else.

"Hey, Tron, you there?" I asked, plopping into the seat in front of the keyboard.

"Seifer? You're still in Radiant Gardens?" Tron's mechanical voice asked.

"Just got back." I said vaguely. "Look, could you run a search engine for me?"

"I'm a defense program." His voice somehow managed to sound even more deadpan than usual.

"…That's a no, then?" I asked.

"Yes."

"Yes that's a no, or yes you can do it?"

"I'll get Yori."

I rolled my eyes and waited.

"Hello again, user Seifer."

"Hi, Yori. I need to run a search engine."

"That's what Tron said. What do you need to search?"

"The Queen."

"What Queen do you mean? That's a very broad search subject."

"Okay, fine, um…Snow White's stepmother. That Queen. I dunno her real name." I said.

"Alright, let's see…beginning search now…search finished. I'll put up an image—is this the Queen you meant?" She asked sweetly as a picture of the Queen showed up.

"Yeah, that's her." I muttered irritably, leaning forward in my seat. "Show me what you found."

Several windows appeared on the screen.

"Her real name is Queen Agariste. She truly is a princess, but secured her title as 'queen' through deception and dark magycks. About a year after her marriage to Snow White's father, she poisoned him and framed his most loyal advisor, executing him before any sort of defense could be raised. Then she attempted to have Snow White killed by a woodcutter…"

"I know _that_ story well enough." I cut her off. "What happened after the dwarves chased her over the cliff?"

"She died."

I started to say something biting in response, but stopped myself. She wasn't being a smart ass; she was just answering my question. After all, no matter how real she had seemed when I was in that weird neon-world, she was still technically just a computer program.

"That can't be true, Yori." I said. "She's the one causing all of this mess right now."

"Her body was found later by the dwarves and burned. The ashes were sealed in the glass coffin Snow White had been kept in during her enchanted sleep and dropped into an ocean, weighted by rocks." Yori said.

"…Damn." I let out a low whistle. "Those dwarves don't fuck around."

"Of course they don't. Dwarves are asexual." Yori said.

I opened my mouth to say something, then thought better of it. There are some things I just don't need or want to know about. Instead, I redirected my attention at figuring out how the Queen could still be around if her body had been burned and sunk.

"What about her soul? And her heart?" I asked. "I mean, she was deeply involved in dark magyck, right? So she could have found a way to…y'know, stick around even after she'd kicked it. Is there some dark spell or ritual she could have used to keep herself from dying even after her physical body was gone?"

The computer made a loud whirring noise.

"I think I found something, but…it's so terrible…" Yori said, aghast.

"What is it?" I asked. If it was terrible, the Queen would probably know about it. And perform it.

"There's a ritual a person can do to…to _relocate_ their heart and soul. But you have to…you have to use…another person's body. The spell involves… _removing_ that person's heart and soul and replacing it with your own. And…oh, please don't make me read any more!"

"No, no, you don't have to read any more." I assured her. "Just put the window up on the screen and I'll read it myself, okay? And you can…go, if you want. I'll call you if I need anything else."

"Thank you, Seifer." She said as another window appeared on the screen.

"Mm." I grunted, already immersed in the article.

But I already knew all that I needed to know:

The Queen was one sick bitch.

(PAGEBREAK,Y'KNOW?)

"I know who the Queen is." I gasped out as I burst into the kitchen to Aerith's house a few hours later. Somewhat unsurprisingly, everyone (and by 'everyone' I mean Hayner, Cid, Aerith, Sora, René, Riku, Cloud, Merlin, Kairi, Goofy, Donald, and the Asshole) was crowded around the room, eating. Well, everyone except Aerith was eating. She was feeding them.

"Snmfrh?" Sora said through a mouthful of food.

"Chew and swallow, Sora." Aerith reminded him with a far too patient smile.

"Here, look." I said, slapping a piece of paper down on the table in front of Hayner even though I was still mostly out of breath.

"Breathe, Twerp." Cid said, clapping me on the back. "It makes life a _lot_ easier, trust me."

"'S not important." I said. "Look, I found out who the Queen is. _And_ I know why she's still alive even though the dwarves pushed her over that cliff."

"She used dark magyck to move herself into another body." The Asshole said.

"The fuck…? How do _you_ know that?" I asked.

Everyone turned to look at Hayner, who suddenly seemed to try and shrink into his chair.

"Chickenwuss?"

"Remember that nightmare I had?" He asked softly.

"Do I look like Sora? I have a longer attention span _and_ memory than that, lamer." I said.

"Hey!" Sora protested, though everyone else laughed forcedly.

"I…remembered more stuff." Hayner continued. "About my life… _before_. The Queen…made me help her with the spell."

"Then you already know how to beat her, too, huh?" I asked.

He blinked. "…Beat her?"

"Yeah. Do you?"

"No, I…must not have remembered that part." He said.

"Okay, well I figured it all out. Yori, Tron, and Ram helped—mostly Yori—but I know what in the hell is going on, now." I said, pointing at the papers I'd brought. "That spell she used? It was only temporary."

"Temporary." He echoed.

"It wears off over time, because the original soul can't be completely gotten rid of, especially if you do the spell as quickly as the Queen probably had to since she was going over a cliff at the time. So the original soul fights against the intruding soul. And eventually, since it's more attuned to the body, it'll take the body back. In order to stay alive, the Queen either has to keep switching bodies, or she has to do another ritual to make the spell permanent."

"Another ritual." His voice was tiny, that time; little more than a squeak.

"Quit repeating everything I fucking say, lamer. See there?" I shifted the papers. "The Queen needs fourteen souls. They're all marked down on this paper, see? Twelve of them are in a pattern like the face of a clock, only instead of hands in the middle, that's the Queen and the fourteenth soul. Now, I dunno about the first twelve souls, but I think that Sora's soul—Roxas—is supposed to be the thirteenth. It has to be a pure soul, see? And what soul is purer than the Keyblade Master's, right?"

"Right." He agreed weakly.

"Right! That's where _you_ come in—that blue gem she gave you? It was sucking Roxas out of Sora really damn slowly, so he probably hadn't even fucking noticed yet when I destroyed it and broke the spell. That's why they never fully merged. And I think it's disrupted them so much now that they'll never be able to completely fuse back together. But that's not important right now. Roxas, the thirteenth soul, is depicted here." I pointed to another area on the page, a small dot below the circle. "This one acts as a sort of…barrier. It keeps the other souls from breaking free during the spell, since their magycks will be haywire during transit to the Queen."

"How does she keep this soul from breaking free?" Sora asked, looking a little pale.

"I…don't really know." I said. "I think it doesn't have a choice, for some reason. Maybe she uses another spell or a potion, or maybe something in the bead would do it or something. The point of the matter is that it keeps the other souls in line. Now, the thing is that we disrupted her spell by destroying the bead, but we didn't totally stop it. See, it won't be fully stopped until after the Blood Moon—that's the night she's gotta do it, the night of the Blood Moon. After that, all of the souls will be released from whatever hold she's got over them and she'll have to start all over again."

"Why does it have to be during the Blood Moon?" Merlin asked, peering at the papers curiously.

"I don't fucking know, because it sounds cool?" I shrugged. "You're the magician, Merlin, not me. All I know is that this symbol here," I pointed at the bottom corner of the page, "is a symbol for the Hunter's Moon—the moon directly following the autumn equinox, which was last month. That means that this bitch has gotta get the last two souls within the next week, or she'll have to start over like I said before."

"Who…or what…or, for that matter, _where_ is the fourteenth soul?" René asked.

"I'm getting to that." I said impatiently. "Okay, so we have the thirteenth soul for now—"

"What do you mean _for now_?" Riku demanded.

"We aren't going to let her have Sora." Donald added determinedly.

"No fucking duh." I said. "But she's not just gonna roll over and let us keep him, is she? She's gonna fucking fight for him, dumbasses."

"I can protect myself." Sora said.

"Of course you can, Sky-boy." Cid said. "And we're gonna protect you, too, but that doesn't mean she won't find a way to get her grubby little hands on Roxas. She's a greedy bitch, but she's a _smart_ greedy bitch."

"What about the last soul?" René asked again.

"I'm _trying_ to tell you, if everyone would fucking shut up and let me talk." I yelled.

Everyone shut up.

"Thank you." I drawled. "The last soul is kinda tricky. It's this one here." I pointed to the marker in the middle of the circle. "As far as I can figure, it's like this: the spell takes a hell of a lot of magyck. That's what all of the souls are for—they're kind of like batteries that she's gonna sap of all of their life-force to feed her own magyck. The fourteenth soul is a sacrifice. She turns it into a kind of…essence of soul, or some bullshit like that, using a potion that she'll put in this cauldron. And then she drinks it, and that's what anchors her heart and soul into the body of her victim."

"That is so gross." Kairi groaned.

"All dark magyck involves this sort of thing, I'm afraid." Merlin said. "That's why it's dark."

"Right. And the thing is, the final soul's magyck has to be in perfect synch with the Queen's."

"Gawrsh…what does _that_ mean?" Goofy asked.

"Basically, it means the soul has to belong to someone who's related to her by blood. A parent, a sibling, a cousin…even a kid, if she found someone stupid enough to impregnate her." I said, wrinkling my nose at the thought before turning serious again. "And there's one more thing."

"What?" Hayner asked, sounding sick.

"The fourteenth soul…it has to be a _willing_ sacrifice." I said.

"Willing? Why would anyone be _willing_ to…?" Kairi trailed off.

"If she was…the only thing that person knew." Hayner said. "I mean, the unconditional love of a child or something…"

"What do you mean, Hayner?" Aerith asked, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"A kid would do anything for its parent, wouldn't it? I mean, in most cases. And I'll bet…I'll bet she's been planning this for a long time, so…she made sure that she's the only thing that kid knows or loves or cares about."

"Well, we'll just have to find that poor child and save it." Aerith said determinedly.

"You don't have to look too far." Hayner said, his voice a little choked up.

"Why not?" The Asshole asked.

"Because…I remembered something else during my nightmare." He said, looking at me with the same wide, frightened eyes he'd had after the Heartless tried to steal his heart. "Remember when I was crying?"

"Yeah." I said, my heart filling with fear as I realized what he was about to say.

"I'm the fourteenth soul." He said brokenly. "The Queen is…is my _mother_."

And then I remembered and realized something:

I remembered that Hayner didn't have a soul.

And I realized that the Queen had it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _A/N: Ironic that this is the fourteenth chapter, huh? Huh? Oh, yeah, I'm good. (It was totally unintentional, lol.) God, this story is getting so dramatic…:makes popcorn:_
> 
>  _And to give credit where credit is due: the idea for the 'relocation' of the Queen's soul comes from a book called 'Golem in the Gears' by Piers Anthony. And the idea for the ritual the Queen is going to do is some sort of weird merger of my own ideas with ideas from the movies 'The Brothers Grimm' and 'Thirteen Ghosts.'_
> 
>  _Also, for whoever cares to know: 'Agariste,' the Queen's name, means 'best woman by far.' I thought it was fitting, lol. XD My God, I put way too much thought into this…_


	16. Credo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Credo (to believe; trust, commit; trust in, rely on)

" _If I say who I know it just goes to show: you need me less than I need you. Take it from me, we don't give sympathy—you can trust me…trust nobody." –Fray, 'Trust Me'_

"So all we have to do is keep Sora and Hayner safe for the next week, right?" Riku broke the tense silence that had settled over us as we tried to grasp all of the new information being shoved on us. "Then we can go defeat the Queen, after the danger of the Blood Moon is over."

I thought about answering, but…I couldn't. He should have been right—he probably was right—but something about his 'theory' struck a false chord in my heart. They didn't know that Hayner's soul was already gone, but… that still shouldn't have mattered. Without Sora…and even then, something about the fact that she had Hayner's soul just…unnerved me. There was something wrong with all of this…something I hadn't though of yet…

"Hey, Merlin." I said quietly, hardly audible over the argument Sora and Riku had gotten into over whether or not Sora needed to be protected.

"Yes, my boy?" Merlin asked.

"How long can a body go without its soul?" I asked, in the same low tone voice that had made everyone go quiet and look at me.

"I'm not sure. Does it matter?" Merlin asked.

"It might. What would happen to a person if they don't have their soul?"

"Nothing." Sora said. "I didn't have Roxas for almost a year, and I'm fine!"

"Nothing? Are you sure?" I asked. "You didn't feel empty or something?"

Sora shook his head, shrugging. "Not that I can remember."

"Sora, you were asleep for nearly the whole time you didn't have Roxas." Riku said, then looked back at me. "What're you thinking?"

"Well…assuming that the Queen already has the first twelve souls…" I said, hoping that none of this would let on to them that she actually had thirteen souls. "What's happening to the people those souls belong to?"

"They're probably all heartless. Or dead already." Squall said.

"But what if they aren't? And what if there is some sort of…I dunno, expiration date to how long you can go without your soul? What if the person _and_ the soul disappear or something once that date has passed?" I asked. "I mean, the Queen has to have the souls up until the Blood Moon, but after that…who would put it past her to time it so that they disappear the day after?"

Everyone got very quiet at that.

"So we're going on a rescue mission, now?" Donald asked.

"I don't like it." Cloud said.

"Yeah. If she gets Sora or Hayner…" Kairi began.

"No! No, don't you _get_ it?" René broke in. "No offense, Sora, but you don't matter. The Queen doesn't need _Roxas_ , she needs a _pure soul_. Sora's soul isn't the only pure soul in the universe."

"Who else is there?" Cid asked.

"The princesses." Sora gasped suddenly. "The seven princesses of heart! Kairi and Jasmine and the others…their souls are probably pure, too, aren't they?"

"Oh my God." Kairi squeaked, her hands flying up to cover her mouth.

"Don't worry. As long as she doesn't get my soul, we can get the rest back." Hayner said with a determined look on his face.

"The Queen always has a backup plan." René said. "That's how she got this far, isn't it? It was her original plan for the woodcutter to kill Snow White, and when that didn't work she tried to poison her. When that plan didn't work and she got pushed over the cliff, she moved her soul _as she was falling_. She doesn't need Sora's soul _or_ your soul. She just _wants_ them…though I don't know why."

"Because I'm her kid. She's been raising me for this very purpose the whole time; of _course_ she would prefer my soul to anyone else's." Hayner said, looking a little green. "And Sora's the Keyblade Master, for Christ's sake. Of the pure souls she could go after, he's probably the only one who could actually stand in her way if she _doesn't_ take his soul."

"I think René's wrong." Riku said suddenly, giving René a glare that rivaled me at my worst.

"I'm not wrong!" René said.

"How would you know? You're just some worthless _imitation_! Why should we listen to _anything_ you say?" Riku demanded.

"I am _not_ an imitation, you narcissistic jerk!"

"What're they talking about?" I asked Hayner as the two silver-haired teens went at it with minimal resistance from anyone else in the room. Actually, Aerith was the only one who tried to stop them; everyone else acted like it had happened before and they were sick of it and of trying to stop it.

"Apparently, one of those Organization XIII guys created a replica of Riku. They think René's him, even though Riku says he destroyed him." Hayner said. "They've been arguing like this at every opportunity." He looked at me out of the corner of his eye. "They're worse than we were."

"Similarity breeds contempt." Merlin remarked with a soft chortle.

"And the only similarities between _us_ are stubbornness and short tempers." Hayner said. "Those two are exactly alike."

"We aren't anything alike!" Riku and René yelled at him in unison, then growled at each other angrily, "Don't copy me!"

"Alright, that's enough!" Cid snapped, grabbing their collars and separating the two. "Both of you sit down and shut up!"

"He started—" They said.

"I don't care who started it, I'm finishing it!" Cid said, practically throwing them into the nearest two empty chairs. "Got it?"

"Got it." They mumbled.

"Now…" Cid turned to Hayner. "Since you're apparently the leader around here, what do you propose we do?"

Hayner gaped at him, kind of like a deer caught in the headlights of a car. "Ah…" He glanced at me.

"What're you looking at me for? You're the leader, remember?" I said, smirking at him as I leaned back in my chair.

"I'm not a leader." He hissed. "An instigator, maybe, but not a _leader_. How in the hell am _I_ supposed to know what to do?"

"She's your mother." I reminded him.

He blanched. "Seifer…"

I rolled my eyes. "Fine." I said. "I kind of have a plan anyhow: All of you guys stay here and keep Hayner, Kairi, and Sora safe. I go kick ass. End of plan."

"What? You can't go after her by yourself!" Hayner screeched before anyone else had time to react. "She'll kill you!"

"I can take care of myself." I said.

"Unless she sends your father after you!" He retorted.

I punched him. "You leave my father out of this! Look, I've got this thing, right?" I held up the hand with the ring on it. "Persephone said that once I've found what I'm looking for, I'll know what to do."

"What you're looking for?" He asked. "I thought you were on a mission for her?"

"It's complicated." I said. "Just…trust me. Once this thing's led me to…to the _item_ , all of this will be over. I think."

"That ring only works when you're touching me." He said. "So I have to go with you."

I grabbed his shoulders and pulled him out of his seat, ignoring the way the ring on my finger burned. "Listen up, lamer, because I'm not damn well gonna say this twice: You. Are. Staying. Here. I don't know why the Queen is still after you—"

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?" He asked.

I snapped my mouth closed, inwardly cursing my slipup. "Shit, Hayner, just…just stay here. Stay _safe_. Okay?"

"No, not okay!" He said. "I'm the leader, remember? And I say I'm going, so I'm going!"

"Oh, but chickenwuss…you aren't a leader—you're an instigator! That's what you said earlier; you can't just change your mind now because you don't like my plan." I said. "And since you put _me_ in charge, _I_ say you're staying here. So guess what, lamer? You're staying the fuck here!"

"Fine! I'll stay here, you overbearing jackass! But you're not going by yourself if I have to smuggle Jiminy Cricket into your pocket!"

"No."

"Yes." He hissed, grabbing my wrists to keep me in place when I tried to pull away. "So pick someone before I send Leon after you."

Squall made a funny noise in the back of his throat that made me think he wouldn't be 'sent after me' of his own volition, but the look in Hayner's eyes left no room for argument.

"Alright." I said, glancing up for a split second. "René can come with me."

" _Him_?" Riku asked. "For all we know, that stupid copy is working for the Queen!"

"All the more reason for him to come with me." I said before René could start. "Get him away from the two souls the Queen wants the most, right?"

Riku scowled and glared at me; I glared back.

"You'll need a pilot." Cid said, standing as he spoke with a smug smile on his face.

I made a face, but nodded. It was true, after all. Then I looked back at Hayner, just then realizing how close our faces had gotten. He seemed to be thinking along the same lines, as his face turned a bright red color. I'm pretty sure I saw his eyes flicker toward my mouth, too.

Pursing my lips, I leaned forward, pressing our foreheads together.

"No matter what happens…" I began hesitantly. "No matter what anyone says…just remember that I'm taking care of everything, alright?"

"What're you talking about?" He asked. He definitely looked at my mouth, that time.

"Just promise me you'll trust me." I said.

He frowned. "Okay. I trust you."

"Good." I released him, motioning at René and Cid and pretending not to notice how the beam of light from my ring immediately went away. "Let's go, you two."

René mumbled something that I don't think anyone caught, though Riku sneered at him for good measure.

I rolled my eyes, wondering vaguely if it was the souls I was saving from René, or everyone else's last nerve.


	17. Defluo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Defluo (to flow away, disappear, be lost, to flow down, waste, disappear.)

_"Look into my eyes; now you're getting sleepy. Are you hypnotized by secrets that you're keeping? I know what you're keeping, I know what you're keeping. Got a secret, can you keep it? Swear this one you'll save. Better lock it in your pocket, taking this one to the grave. If I show you then I know you won't tell..." - The Pierces, 'Secret'_

Maybe it was the start of some fucked up tradition, I supposed as I opened the door to once again find something ominous waiting for me.

Well, alright, it hadn't been _waiting_ for me, per se. It had appeared almost as soon as I pulled the door open, though: this creepy portal thing. Black and swirling, with purple and blue streaks here and there. And a man straining to step out of it, but anchored by some invisible hold on one of his arms. He looked like some sort of wannabe pirate or something—he had an eye patch and a scar and his black and gray-streaked hair was pulled back into a low ponytail. But he obviously had a wardrobe problem, since he was wearing a friggin' black trench coat.

"Seifer?" He questioned, looking at me.

But I didn't have time to answer and Sora shoved his way past me, followed by Donald, Goofy, and Riku, all of them pointing their weapons at the man.

"Xigbar! What are _you_ doing here? You're supposed to be dead!" Sora growled with more malice than I would have given the normally cheerful boy credit for.

"I don't have time for you, shorty!" The man, Xigbar, said, looking past Sora at me. "You're Seifer, right?"

I glared at him, unsure as to whether or not I should answer a man who _Sora_ , of all people, had a problem with.

"I came to warn you." He said, struggling harder against whatever was holding his arm. "You have to stay with the prince! The Queen has to have _all_ of him! She won't settle for just—" He was cut off suddenly by a sharp jerk on his arm. "Shit, she was supposed to be gone longer!" He cursed before looking back at me, his uncovered eye wide and wild. "Just _stay_ with him! You can't leave him alone or she'll—"

"Xigbar, she's coming! Luxord can't give you any more time!" Another man's face, which I very vaguely recognized, appeared in the portal. His green eyes peered out at us from beneath spiky red hair, sweeping over us and lingering on Sora for a little longer than they did anyone else before a hand—the man's hand, I assumed—grabbed the back of Xigbar's coat and yanked him back. A moment later, both of them had been swallowed by the darkness, and the portal disappeared.

"A…Axel…" Sora said, an odd gleam in his eyes as he stared at where the portal had been.

"Well, gawrsh…I thought we got rid of those guys." Goofy said uncertainly.

"What guys?" I asked.

"The Organization." Donald said. "Organization XIII."

"No. The Organization is _gone_." Riku said, firmly. "At least one of us saw all of them fade away!"

"Axel's…alive?" Sora whispered. But it wasn't Sora's voice, it was…

"Roxas, back off. Let Sora go." Kairi said, putting a hand on Sora's arm.

Sora jumped a little, blinking a few times as his eyes and demeanor returned to normal. "Huh?"

"The Organization is back, Sora. I don't know how, but they're _back_." Riku said.

Sora didn't answer, his eyes taking on a far-off quality. "I don't think they were dying when they faded away." He said rather dreamily, with the voice that wasn't quite his. "You guys weakened them, and then…before they could die…the Queen used a spell to capture them."

"Sora, snap out of it." Kairi said, shaking him a little.

He did, blinking furiously like he had the first time. "I think Roxas is right." He said, looking at me. "Seifer, that means she _does_ have the first twelve souls. You were right."

"But why would they come to…to _warn_ us? Why not escape?" Hayner asked. "If that guy can make a portal to another world…"

"There was something holding him back." Aerith said. "Like…a chain, maybe? And it sounded like the Queen must be keeping a close eye on them. That…Luxord fellow distracted the Queen, and Xigbar was able to create the portal and…warn Seifer."

As one, they all turned to look at me.

"Who's the prince?" Hayner asked, an odd edge in his voice as his eyes narrowed.

I shrugged. "I don't know any…oh." My jaw clenched together as I realized what…or rather, _who_ Xigbar had been talking about. Hayner was the son of a queen, after all… _the_ Queen.

"Oh?" He pushed, crossing his arms over his chest. "What 'oh'?"

"Hayner," I said sternly.

"Tell me." He said.

"You're the son of the Queen, remember, lamer?" I asked.

Whatever strange emotion had been his eyes was replaced by surprise, and then understanding.

"Oh." He said softly. "So… _I'm_ the prince."

"Apparently." I drawled.

He was quiet for a moment. "Well, I did tell you I had to go with you." He said triumphantly.

I just snorted instead of retorting like I normally would have—my mind was beginning to buzz over Xigbar's frantic words.

"He's thinking again." Kairi giggled.

"Someone stop him before he overheats." Leon murmured with a little smirk.

I shot him a glare, but couldn't hold it as the events of the past few minutes once again came to the forefront of my mind. My eyes slid past him, and I put a hand over my mouth thoughtfully.

"Seifer?"

I had gotten drawn so deeply into my thoughts that I wasn't sure who had spoken. Instead, I ran a hand through my hair.

"Jesus, she's still after him." I muttered, scratching my head as I began pacing. "I don't get why she's still after him when she already has what she needs." I sighed heavily, putting my hands on either side of my head. "Think, think, think, Seifer!" I stopped pacing suddenly and dropped into a crouch, drawing a sketchy outline of the diagram for the ritual. "Alright, so…let's assume that she _doesn't_ have everything she needs from him."

"Seifer, you're creeping me out." Someone said. "What're you mumbling about?"

"Twelve souls here." I said. "And the thirteenth soul here…the fourteenth with the Queen…what else does she need? Fourteen souls, the body she's in, a cauldron for the potion…a cup? But she doesn't need a specific cup, does she? Shit, what the hell am I talking about? Hayner doesn't even have any fucking cups, don't be stupid. And Xigbar said she needs _all_ of him, so there's obviously something else. Something I'm not thinking of, _Goddammit_!"

"Seifer!" I jumped as a hand touched my back, and looked up at Hayner. "What's going on?"

"Nothing." I snapped. I couldn't tell him. Persephone had said not to, and if I did tell him…if ignorance is bliss for Hayner, enlightenment was death. "I just…need to figure something out."

"What? Seifer, let us help. This involves all of us, you know." Hayner said firmly, crouching beside me so closely that our legs and shoulders touched. The ring glowed as he motioned at the diagram. "What's all of this about?"

"Don't ask me to tell you." I said. "I can't, Hayner. If I do, you'll…well, I can't tell you what you'll do, but it'll be bad."

"I'm your leader, right? The prince, and all?" He asked. "So I'm _ordering_ you to tell me what's going on in that big head of yours." He rapped his knuckles against my forehead gently. "Now."

"No. I swore to keep you safe, Hayner." I said. "I don't break promises."

"Seifer…just fucking _tell me_!" He said.

"No." I said, poking his forehead hard enough that he lost his balance and fell over. I stood, crossing my arms. "I'm not telling you, so you might as well just give up."

"It's his soul, isn't it?"

I looked at René, giving him the fiercest glare I'd ever given anyone. And I once glared at Rai so fiercely he pissed himself, so I know it's a potent look.

"Shut up." I said.

"I'm right, aren't I?" René asked. "The Queen already has Hayner's soul. And for whatever reason, she needs the rest of him, too. That's what that pirate-guy said."

"I said shut up!" I spat, balling my hands into fists.

"I don't…have a soul?" Hayner asked quietly, staring up at me with a look that sent a shiver up my spine.

"No…no, Hayner, please." I said. "I told you I'd take care of everything, didn't I? You said you trusted me!"

"So it's _true_?" He asked.

"I'll take care of it." I said. "I said I would, and I will. The ring Persephone gave me will lead me to it and you'll be fine."

His mouth opened and closed for a moment, like he was trying to say something but couldn't, and then his eyes suddenly rolled back into his head and he passed out.

I turned on René, grabbing his collar and lifting up off the ground. "I told you to fucking shut up, you son of a goddamn bitch!" I shook him. "You couldn't just keep your damn mouth _shut_ , could you, you stupid shit?"

"You mean…he's right?" Aerith said, kneeling beside Hayner's prone form and putting a hand on his forehead. "The Queen already has Hayner's soul?"

"She's always had his soul." I said, dropping René angrily. "Since before she sent him to Twilight Town. He was a heartless before, remember?" I looked at René again, snarling, "And he wasn't supposed to find the fuck out."

"S-sorry." René sputtered.

"Why wasn't he supposed to find out, my boy?" Merlin asked.

"Because now he's going fade away." I said, falling to my knees beside Hayner. "Persephone said that the only thing keeping him safe was not knowing he doesn't have a soul…she said if he ever found out, he would fade away."

"I didn't mean to, Seifer, you have to believe me." René said. And he really did sound sorry.

"How do we know?" Riku asked, jabbing René in the chest. "For all we know, you've been working for her the whole time! I _knew_ we couldn't trust you!"

"I'm not working for the Queen!" René said. "I'm _not_. I swear I'm not."

"We have no way of knowing that!" Riku said.

"Riku, stop it." Kairi said. "We don't have time for this. We have to figure out how to stop Hayner from disappearing."

"That's easy." Cid said, hefting his spear over his shoulder. "We gotta go get his damn soul back!"

"But we don't know where it is." Sora said.

"Sure we do." I said. "Or, at least, the ring that Persephone gave me does. That's why it only works when Hayner touches me."

"Okay, good. So who's going?" Cid asked. "Someone has to stay here with Hayner…"

"Hayner stays with me." I said obstinately. "And I'm going."

"Can't we all go? The Highwind is big enough for all of us, isn't it, Cid?" Aerith asked.

"We can take the Highwind, but it can't handle all of us right now." Cid said.

"Well, I certainly can't go." Merlin said. "I'm far too old."

"Squall and Aerith should stay here, too." I said.

"Why?" Squall asked, frowning at me.

"You're in charge of rebuilding this place, right?" I asked. "You're needed here."

"You idiots might—" He began.

"If we need you, I can Summon you, remember?" I asked, flashing Griever at him. "And Aerith should stay so that when we come back, she'll be ready to patch us up."

"Kairi should stay, too." Sora said.

"No! I'm so sick of getting left behind!" Kairi said, stomping a foot.

"Look, girlie," Cid said. "If we were just traveling around the worlds like Sora did when he first started, I'd let you come along. But we aren't. We're going straight up to the fucking boss of all these things, and you aren't near strong enough to be of any use. You'll only get in the way."

"You don't have to be so harsh, Cid." Aerith said, putting an arm around a tearful Kairi.

Cid snorted.

"I'll stay, too." Cloud said. "Sora can Summon me if I'm needed."

"Alright, then." Cid said gruffly. "Let's go."

"Should we try to wake Hayner up?" Goofy asked.

"Let him sleep." I said, scooping the boy in question up into my arms. I tried to ignore the way Hayner sighed contentedly and clutched onto my shirt, and mostly just succeeded in making myself blush a bit. "Maybe he'll wake up and think it was a dream."

"I hope so." René said. "I really didn't mean to…"

"Yeah, right. We aren't stupid, _Replica_." Riku sneered.

"Both of you shut the fuck up, and let's go." I said, sick of their arguing.

"You mean he's…? He can't come with us!" Riku said.

"He can, and he is." I snapped. "And if you're gonna fucking argue with him the whole way, then you can fucking stay here, got me?"

Riku shut his mouth with an audible snap, though he gave me a disgruntled look and René a suspicious one.

I rolled my eyes, shifted Hayner in my arms a bit, and headed toward the ship.

Somberly, the rest of the 'crew' followed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _A/N: Is it sad that every time Seifer mentioned his promise and stuff, I flashed back to 'Horton Hears a Who'? I can see him now: 'I meant what I said and I said what I meant! A Seifer is faithful, one hundred percent!'_
> 
> … _:gigglesnort:_
> 
>  _:brick'd:_


	18. Eloquentia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eloquentia (eloquence, readiness of speech, fluency, persuasiveness)

" _Belief makes things real, makes things feel…feel alright. Belief makes things true, things like you…you and I. Tonight, you arrested my mind when you came to my defense with a knife in the shape of your mouth, in the form of your body, with the wrath of a god. Oh, you stood by me, belief." –Gavin Degraw, 'Belief"_

I sat in stony silence near the back of the ship, glaring at anyone who came too close. Usually, that meant I was glaring at René, who kept coming back to check on Hayner and I. Or maybe he was trying to apologize again. Either way, my glare had even scared Sora away—and Sora was usually too oblivious to know when people wanted him to fuck off.

But it was two hours since we'd taken off, and Hayner still hadn't woken up. I was beginning to…well, no, I was far past 'beginning to worry.' By then, I was even past 'out of my mind with worry.' Not that anyone but me could tell, unless they knew that I would get crueler and crueler the more worried I became. At the moment, this was only evident by my glare, since so far no one had made the mistake of trying to talk to me.

But no one really gives a fuck about that unless they're the one getting yelled at, right? Right. So let's get back to Hayner.

Hayner had stayed stubbornly unconscious no matter what I tried. And I had gone far beyond the usual smelling salts, slaps, and shakes. I had even tried holding him upright and dropping an ice cube down his pants—nothing. Not even a shiver, the little bastard. Once I had finally given up (about three-quarters of an hour into the flight), I had sat down and laid him out across the couch in the back of the ship, resting his head in my lap so that even if I drifted off (which wasn't likely to happen, but might) I would know that he had woken up. I'm a light sleeper. To amuse myself (because even us stalwart defenders get bored after an hour of sitting), I had taken to mapping out Hayner's face with a finger, drawing it in fantastical situations in my mind's eye. Then I ran my hand through his hair a bit, working out the gel so that his hair wouldn't be too nasty and clunky when he woke up. Maybe that sounds romantic or something, but it wasn't. Since I was still kind of trying to wake him up, I yanked pretty hard through some of the knots and clumps.

And then, finally, Hayner's eyes fluttered open.

And, God, I wished he had just stayed unconscious, because his eyes were so dead they almost looked gray instead of the dusty cinnamon color I knew they were.

He shifted, like he was about to sit up, but seemed to lose the will to do so almost immediately after. Instead, he reached up and put his hand over the one I had in his hair.

"I…don't have a soul." He rasped, looking up at me. The look in his eyes—or, well, the lack of a look in his eyes—sent a shiver up my spine.

"You trust me, don't you?" I asked, grabbing his hand and holding it like I thought that would keep him from fading away. "I told you I would take care of everything."

He closed his eyes and sighed tiredly. "I suppose so."

"No." I growled, squeezing his hand so hard his eyes flew open again and I saw something—some unidentifiable streak of emotion—flash through them. "Don't _suppose_. _Know_. Know that I am going to take care of everything. Know that you can trust me. I swear to God, lamer, if you give up on me I'll fucking kill you."

A tiny grin tugged at one corner of his mouth. "You're so melodramatic."

"Yeah, well, if you disappear, then the only sane one to talk to around here is _Cid_."

"You don't like Cid?"

"Sure I do, but he's porking a _vampire_. If he's the _sane_ one, I'm fucked. And not in the good way, either." I said, glad that he seemed to be livening up a bit.

"Am I any better than a vampire?" He asked. "I mean, I…I don't have a soul, and I used to be a heartless, and my mother…oh, God, my mother is…"

"Chickenwuss, I already gave you one squicky, emotion-ridden pep talk about this. Sort of." I said. Upon receiving a 'look' from Hayner, I sighed. "I only have so many emotional outbursts in me that don't involve me getting pissed off, y'know, so listen the fuck up because I'm not going over this again."

"Well, you're off to a good start." He drawled, sitting up and turning about so he was beside me and could look at me without getting a crick in his neck.

"Don't fucking push me, lamer." I said, eyeing him for a moment before continuing. "Now, look, chick… _Hayner_. All of that shit you're so worried about? It's only _part_ of who you are. Just because you're missing some bits…that doesn't make you a bad person, or whatever. I mean, Roxas didn't have a heart and—even though he pissed me off most of the time—he wasn't a bad guy. And you being a heartless once upon a time? Fuck it, y'know? Sora told me _he_ was a heartless once, and after that he didn't have a soul for a while, and there was never anything wrong with him. Or at least…nothing that hadn't been wrong with him before. As for your bitch of a mother…you can't choose your parents, right? I mean, look at _my_ father! Does him being a drunk asshole make me a bad person? No. Just because our parents _shape_ who we are, doesn't mean they _make_ us who we are. After all, there are homophobes who have gay kids, and religious folks who have atheist kids, and pacifists who have serial killers for kids…and there are downright bastards and bitches out there who have really good kids, like you."

He nodded wordlessly, sniffling loudly.

"Now," I stood up. "I gotta go brush my teeth before all of this sweet bullshit gives me cavities."

He let out a weak, forced laugh, but reached out and grabbed my arm when I turned to go to the bathroom (because, really, I just had to take a piss).

"Seifer, what if…what if I can't tell her no?" He asked. "I mean, she's my mother…what if I go through with this shit for her?" He met my eyes with his. "I don't wanna die."

With a heavy sigh, I sat back down and threw an arm around his shoulders, pulling him close to my chest. That was the second time I'd done that in as many days; epic quests obviously weren't very good for me, making me all emotional and crap.

"That's what _I'm_ here for, fucktard." I said. "Everything happens for a reason, remember? The reason I'm the one going with you on this cockamamie quest is so I can keep your dumb ass out of trouble."

"Seifer?" He pulled away from me a little.

"Don't fucking worry about it, I told you I'd—" I cut myself off with an alarmed gasp as he held up his hand.

Or tried to, at least. Hayner's hand was _gone_.

(PAGEBREAK,Y'KNOW?)

"I didn't think it would start this fast." I said shakily as we all sat around the table, Hayner's arm stretched out so that we could all see its decided lack of hand. "We've gotta hurry this damn quest the fuck up."

"Is it…is it completely gone?" Sora asked, reaching out to poke at the spot where Hayner's hand should have been. "No! No, I can feel it! We just can't see it."

"Here." Cid pulled a pair of gloves out of fucking nowhere and handed them to Hayner. "Put those on for now."

"Has anything else disappeared?" Riku asked as Hayner put the gloves on.

"Not that I know of." Hayner said.

"Go to the bathroom and check. We need to figure out how fast this shit's gonna go." Cid said, jerking him up out of his seat and pushing him toward the bathroom.

Hayner nodded, and I smirked a little when I saw him pull his pants out a bit and let out a sigh of relief just before he disappeared around a corner.

"So…" Sora began awkwardly.

"How much longer d'you think it'll be before we get there?" I asked, looking at Cid.

"How in the hell should I know? I don't even know where we're _going_ , twerp." Cid said.

"You've got a map, don't you? What world are we heading toward?" I asked.

Cid grumbled something that made René, who was sitting closest to him, blush a little. But he still reached up and pulled a map out, rolling it out across the table along with some odd looking tools.

"Alright, look. This is a rough map of the known worlds. I nicked it from the King's ship last time he visited." Cid said.

"You WHAT?" Donald screeched.

"They have more copies, fuck off." Cid waved him away, scratching his head thoughtfully as he looked at the map. "We started here, and we're moving…hm." He fiddled with some of the tools (wish I could be more descriptive, here, but fuck if I know what he was doing. Use your damn imagination). "Alright, well…the way I figure it, and assuming that that damn ring doesn't decide to change course on us, we're heading towards this world." He tapped a finger on the world in question.

"Prydain?" I asked with a frown. "What do we know about that world?"

"I've never heard of it." Riku said.

"Me neither." Sora said.

"That's where Taran's from." René said.

Everyone got quiet and looked at him, and he took on the rather clueless expression of someone who didn't realize how important something they'd said was.

"I met him before those two found me." He pointed at Donald and Goofy. "I was world hopping with this kid named Lewis and his son Wilbur—it's a long story, don't ask—and we ended up on this world called…um…oh, right. India. Duh. Anyhow. So we were trying to help this kid named Mowgli get rid of this huge tiger named Shere Khan, and we found him antagonizing this other kid. Taran. And he said that he had been…launched…from his world, Prydain."

"By who?" Donald asked.

"I don't know, he never said." René shrugged.

"Gawrsh…d'ya think it was the Queen?" Goofy asked.

"Probably." René said. "We could ask."

"What do you mean we could ask?" Riku asked.

"Oh, well…" He pulled a strange looking object out of his pocket. "Lewis and Wilbur were going to take Taran back to his home world. So then I decided to go my own way, and they gave me this phone to contact them if I needed them. I was going to use it after those two tied me up," he glared at Donald and Goofy, "but couldn't, obviously, and then I got caught up in all that's happening and just…didn't see any reason to use it anymore."

"René, you're amazing!" Sora exclaimed, throwing his arms around the silver-haired boy, who flushed and gave him a wide-eyed look. "How do you work it?"

"Oh no!" Cid said, snatching it out of René's hands before Sora could. "You aren't going anywhere near this, sky boy—you'd probably break it."

"All you have to do is open it." René said a little defensively. "It automatically calls them. Sora wouldn't have hurt anything."

"You have obviously never seen him around technology." Cid said, flipping the phone open before handing it back to René. "Here, you talk to them since you know them."

" _Wilbur, give me the phone!"_

" _No! I'm older, I get the phone!"_

" _I'm your father, you have to do what I say. Give. Me. The. Phone."_

" _You aren't my father yet, Lewis! And I'm still older!"_

" _Give me the phone, Wilbur!"_

Cid and I exchanged a glance.

"You guys." René said, chuckling a little. "Just share."

" _René! Hey, René!"_ The voice belonging to Wilbur (at least, I was pretty sure it was) exclaimed.

"Hey, Wilbur. Hi, Lewis." René said. "Say, is Taran still with you guys?"

" _Huh? Oh, yeah, sure. Here we are, worried sick about you since you haven't called, like, at all, and you wanna talk to Taran. Thanks a million, buddy."_

"No offense, Wilbur, it's just that I've been really busy, and…well, there's some stuff going on around here that's…" René shook his head. "Anyhow, I just really need to talk to Taran."

" _Yeah, sure. Make your excuses."_ Wilbur said shortly, though he didn't sound as upset as he seemed to be trying to sound. _"Phone's for you, Taran."_

" _Oh? Oh, um, hello, René. How have you been?"_ A new voice said.

"We kinda don't have time for pleasantries, Taran. I need to know about Prydain." René said.

" _Prydain? Why?"_ The new voice, Taran asked.

"It's a really long story." René said. "Who kicked you off of Prydain, Taran?"

" _I don't know, really. Some woman who called herself the Queen. Kind of odd, if you ask me, because Eilonwy's mother is dead and there aren't any other queens in Prydain."_

"Okay, umm…" He trailed off, looking up at us. "What else do we need to know?"

"Hey, Taran?" I asked. "This is a friend of René's. My name's Seifer. Tell me: are there any clear fields in Prydain? About the size of a big football field?"

"… _What's football?"_

" _Like this, Taran."_ The other voice, Lewis, said.

" _Oh…well, yes. There are several."_

"What about any that are…I dunno, steeped in evil or some bullshit like that? That's where the Queen will do everything, probably." I said.

" _Well...the courtyard in the Horned King's old castle is quite big."_

"Horned King? Ugh." I rolled my eyes at the name. "That's where she'll be, though. And if there's a castle, she'll have a good place to keep the souls locked up."

"… _I'm sorry, but what are you talking about?"_ Taran asked.

"Go ahead and explain it to them, René." I said, standing abruptly and heading toward the bathroom. "I'm going to go check on Hayner."

"Okay." René said, the others gathering around him to look into the odd, futuristic device.

I left the room, knocking on the door to the restroom when I reached it. "Hey, lamer? You okay in there?"

There was a weak, muffled agreement from the other side of the door.

"Can I come in?" I asked.

"Ngh."

I blinked at the door. "I'm…taking that as a yes." I said, pushing the door open.

Hayner was sitting beside the toilet, head in his hands (one gloved, one not), topless, shoeless, and missing one of his socks.

"You all there?" I asked.

He nodded wordlessly, waving the gloved hand as if to say that that was all that was missing so far.

"Are you…sure you're okay?" I asked, entering hesitantly.

"I threw up." He said in a tiny voice.

"You aren't getting sick, are you?" I crouched in front of him and put a hand on his forehead. "That's just what we fucking need…"

"No, I just…threw up." He said.

"Yeah, well," I sat down beside him, "I hope you're not looking to get another damn speech, because I am seriously all the fuck out. At this point I'd just be fucking repeating myself."

He gave me a smile that looked more like a grimace than anything else. "Nah, no more speeches, I promise." He said.

"Ah, shit, you need a goddamn hug, don't you?" I asked. "I _knew_ I was gonna regret not letting Aerith come along."

"You're such an asshole, Seifer." This time he managed to actually smile, and even get out a laugh or two.

I let out a heavy sigh, throwing an arm around him and pulling him to my side.

"It's gonna be okay, lamer." I murmured into his hair.

"I thought you said no more speeches?" He asked.

"That wasn't a fucking speech, it was a sentence." I snapped. "And it's just because it's driving me fucking insane to see you all pathetic and shit."

"'M not pathetic."

"Could've fooled me. I've never seen you more pathetic in my entire life, and I've fucking sent you to the hospital before so I know what I'm talking about."

"You really are an asshole." He huffed.

"And you really are a chickenwuss." I said. "You're supposed to be a prince, for Christ's sake. Suck it the fuck up, man."

"Seifer…"

"If you fucking give up, that's the end, dumbass. Nothing anyone else can do will help you if you don't keep fighting with us."

"But what if…what if fighting doesn't do anything?"

I snorted. "If there's one thing I've learned after kicking your ass over and over again, it's that you're fucking persistent. And eventually, even if it takes you a hundred tries, you get the one up on me and kick _my_ ass. Don't you fucking dare stop being the stubborn little piss ant you are _now_ when it's actually fucking important."

"I think there's a speech hiding in there somewhere."

"God, shut the fuck _up_."

He let out a laugh that almost sounded like a sob, and I curled my other arm around him, too, as he fisted his hands in the material of my coat.

"It's gonna be okay." I said.

I wasn't sure if I was trying to convince him, or me.


	19. Claro

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Claro (to make bright or clear, make clear in the mind)

" _One night I fell asleep and woke up on that sunny street. At first I thought I couldn't but now I see that the shadows kept me hidden from the light that calls my name. All the creatures stood above me, now I'm crawling towards the sun…" –The Hush Sound, 'Crawling Towards the Sun'_

Hayner and I sat in the bathroom like that for a long time. It's a wonder no one came in and checked on us, but I guess they figured that as long as there wasn't any yelling or screaming we must've been alright. I didn't really mind, though.

Or at least, I didn't mind until Hayner opened his damn mouth again—then I wished somebody would show up.

"Seifer…"

"Yeah, lamer?"

"You…you're gay, right?"

Yeah…definitely wish someone had interrupted…

I choked on air, jerking away from him. "The fuck, chickenwuss?"

"Sorry, I guess that's a weird question." He said.

"No, just out of fucking nowhere." I said. "Why in the hell d'you wanna know?"

"Well…I mean, you said as much once…" He said hesitantly. "I was just…curious, I guess."

"About what? I like boys. End of story."

"Well…how did you know? Did you just…wake up one morning and _know_ , or…or what?"

"Why?"

"I just…" He trailed off, blushing. "I just wanted to know."

"I…experimented." I said. "At least, I remember experimenting. It might just be one of those bogus memories or what the fuck ever, but I guess maybe they might be from my…first life, or whatever. Anyhow, what I remember is that one summer at this part-time job I had, this guy I worked with and I came across some gay porn, and figured we'd try it out. He decided it wasn't for him, I decided it was for me."

"Could you be bisexual?" He asked.

"Nah, I tried that, too. Nothing doing." I narrowed my eyes at him. "Why the sudden curiosity? You think you're gay or something?"

He shrugged. "I'm questioning everything about myself, lately. I thought maybe…if you told me how you knew, then I would know, and that'd be one less thing for me to—"

He let out a muffled gasp as I grabbed his chin roughly and kissed him. I was gentle—at least, gentler than I normally was when I kissed someone—and chaste. Partly because it was _Hayner_ , no matter how good he tasted, and partly because we were on the bathroom floor, and that shit is uncomfortable. It wasn't half-assed, though, mind you. I got whatever point I was trying to make across, I think. And no, I wasn't really sure what the point was even then.

Whatever the case, I pulled away a moment later ('chaste,' remember?), releasing his chin and standing. I wiped my mouth on my sleeve, hoping to rid it of the tingling feeling that had come from kissing him, and wouldn't quite look at him.

"There. Now, assuming you aren't so fucking lame that you haven't kissed a girl before, you can decide for yourself which you like better—a kiss from a boy, or a kiss from a girl." I said with far more confidence than I felt. "I'm gonna go try to catch a few z's before we get to Prydain; get my strength up and all that bullshit. You should…probably try to get some sleep, too. Get used to everything that's going on."

"O-okay." He said breathily.

I left the bathroom and headed to the small cabin I'd claimed as my own, fully intending on doing just what I'd told Hayner—sleeping. And I did, sort of.

But while I slept, I dreamed.

(PAGEBREAK,Y'KNOW?)

" _Good morning, star shine." Drawled a masculine voice that I definitely didn't know. "The world says 'hello'."_

 _I creaked my eyes open with a tired groan, and, upon finding myself staring into a purple (yes, fucking_ _**purple** _ _) eye, punched its owner in the nose. And don't give me that look—I'm pretty sure it's been established by now that that's my usual reaction in situations like that._

_Scattered laughter followed, and I looked around with wide eyes to find myself surrounded by ten unfamiliar faces. Well, eleven if you counted the guy nursing his nose on the floor._

" _Who in the hell are you people, and what the fuck are you doing in my room?" I demanded, going for Hyperion—only to find that my trusty gunblade was nowhere to be found._

" _Calm down, man." Oh. So maybe not all of the faces were unfamiliar; this one was that pirate-guy from before._

" _Yeah." Another guy, with blue eyes and a mullet, giggled. "We come in peace."_

" _Technically,_ _ **he**_ _comes in peace." Said a snickering woman with bleach blonde hair (styled into fucking antennas, for God's sake) and blue eyes. Then she looked down at the man on the floor. "Heh, or not."_

" _Would you just answer my fucking questions?" I asked._

" _No need to get violent." Said a man with silver hair and honey colored eyes. "We are known as Organization XIII."_

" _The Nobodies Sora destroyed a while back?" I asked skeptically._

" _Yes." The man said._

" _And…what part of that means I shouldn't get violent, exactly?" I asked, balling my hands into fists._

" _Because we aren't the bad guys this time!" The guy with the mullet said. "We're victims! And we need your help."_

" _Yeah. And I'm supposed to just…take you on your word, there?" I asked._

" _It's true. Xigbar warned you about not leaving Hayner, didn't he? We're good guys." Mullet-Man insisted._

" _Alright, sure. I'll run with it for now." I said as I pinched the bridge of my nose. "The way shit's been going down lately, why the fuck not?" I sighed and looked at the silver-haired guy. "So d'you think I could get your actual names now? Or should I just call you 'guy with silver hair'?"_

_The guy in question chuckled. "No need. I am Xemnas. Number I."_

" _And humble." I murmured._

_He gave me a scathing look. "We are numbered according to our position in the Organization."_

" _Mhm." I said, crossing my arms over my chest and arching an eyebrow at him._

" _Numbers aren't important anymore." Mullet-Man said. "We aren't really the Organization anymore, after all." Then he thrust his hand out at me. "I'm Demyx—formerly number IX."_

" _And the rest of you?" I asked, turning toward the others._

_One of them—the one I punched—opened his mouth to speak, but was cut off by the sound of angry footsteps from somewhere down the hall from our cell._

" _Lie down and pretend to be asleep. Now." Xemnas said, grabbing my arm and shoving me to a corner of the cell._

_I glared at him for a moment, but the desperation in his voice made me do what he told me to do, so a moment later found me curled up uncomfortably in the corner._

_I heard someone open the door to the dungeon we were in, and the strangest sound of a high-pitched squeak or yelp as something skidded on the floor near our cell._

" _But Mother, I felt it! I really did!" A voice—a young voice—said rather frantically._

" _Quiet, you little fool!" Another voice hissed. I assumed it was the Queen, though the voice sounded a bit younger than I would have expected. Then again, I reasoned at the time, she wasn't in her own body anymore._

" _Mother, I—"_

_A slap._

" _I said be quiet! And do not dare to call me your mother again, you little worm, because you are no son of mine!"_

" _But—"_

" _Useless thing, shut up!" A second slap, and I felt my temper rise as I ventured to peek my eyes open._

_On the ground, defiant and desperate and crushed all at once, was a young boy (no more than ten or eleven) with shoulder-length black hair and eyes that were…impossibly, undoubtedly Hayner's. For a moment I entertained the idea of a younger brother or cousin, but I could tell just by looking at his face that he, somehow, was Hayner's missing soul._

_The all-too-young Nobody was looking up with heartbreakingly familiar eyes at a woman I did and didn't recognize. She had short brown hair with a strange outward flip at the end, and somehow the murderous look on her face and in her dull green eyes struck a chord in my heart. It was like…well, I imagine it was something like the feeling I would get seeing that expression on Sora's face—that is, like it was terribly out of place and character—even though I was fairly certain I had never met this girl-who-was-the-Queen._

" _Mo—my Queen…" The boy sputtered, standing shakily. "I'm certain, absolutely certain, that I felt one of the twelve souls shift."_

_I heard Demyx gasp softly as the other former members of the Organization stiffened._

_The woman snorted. "Ridiculous. They're all present, you see?" She waved a hand at our cell vaguely. "Now stop making outlandish claims before I lose my temper, you hear me, boy?" She glared at him for a moment until he finally nodded under her intense gaze, and then turned to leave, muttering as she walked, "I thought I would be rid of children when I took the boy's heart, but instead I got saddled with this piece of trash…"_

_Then she slammed the door shut behind her, cutting off the rest of whatever she was saying._

_The boy plunked back down to the ground, head tilted forward so we couldn't see his face. But we heard the sniffle he let out a moment later, and saw the way his shoulders shook._

" _Little Prince…?" Demyx said softly._

_The boy looked up at him, sniffling again as he stood hurriedly and grasped the bars of the cell in his hands, standing on his tiptoes and peering back into it._

" _Seifer? He's here, isn't he? Seifer's spirit is here?" He asked eagerly, tears all but forgotten._

" _How did you know that?" The Antenna Woman asked, narrowing her eyes at him._

" _My heart knows him." He said, putting a hand on his chest. "So I felt his soul shift. Please, let me talk to him? We have time. Mother won't come back until tomorrow morning, now."_

" _What's that supposed to mean?" Xemnas asked._

" _Mother never believes anything I say. You saw her, didn't you? If I hadn't said something about it, she would have suspected something. That's why I told her I felt his soul shift." He paused. "Well, I said I felt one of the twelve souls shift, but that's only a little white lie, right? And since his soul shifted here, one of the twelve souls_ _ **did**_ _shift, it isn't technically a lie. They switched places."_

" _Why would you do that?" Xigbar asked._

_He shrugged. "I told you: my heart knows him. He's sworn to protect my heart, so…I protect him. Give and get." He looked at the door, an unreadable expression coming to his face. "And besides, it isn't like I hid something from her. It's her own fault she thinks I'm useless." Then he looked back at them, eyes wide with hope. "Can I see Seifer now? Please?"_

" _I'm right here, lamer." I said, standing and pushing my way to the front of the cell._

_He let out a sob of pure relief and sunk to his knees, closing his eyes and resting his head against the bars of the cell._

" _Kid?" I said hesitantly._

" _I'm sorry." He said, obviously crying again. "I just…I'm so happy. I was so scared, but…but you're here now, and I know…I can_ _ **feel**_ _that everything is going to be okay." He buried his head in his hands with a teary laugh. "I thought she was gonna kill me, but you won't let her." He looked back up at me. "You won't, will you? You…you'll keep us safe, right?"_

" _Us?" I asked._

" _My Other and I. My heart and soul." He replied. "Please, promise me you'll keep us safe?"_

_I rolled my eyes. "'Course I will, chickenwuss."_

_He let out a shaky sigh. "Good. I…I was so, so scared I was gonna die." He shuddered. "I don't want to die, Seifer."_

" _You aren't gonna die." I scoffed. "And you wouldn't have to, anyhow. As long as you aren't willing to help her…"_

" _She's my mother. Of course I'm willing." He said immediately, frowning at me._

" _But you'll die." A man with long blonde hair and green eyes said._

_He wrinkled his nose. "I know. And I don't_ _**want** _ _to die, but…I can't just walk away without trying to help her. She's my mother, so…I have to help her, if I can. Even if it means I'll…you know."_

" _Hmph." I snorted, but didn't comment. I was in no position to talk about someone being unable to go against their parents. Instead, I had to ask, "What I want to know is how in the hell you're so young when Hayner is_ _ **my**_ _age."_

_The boy—he still hadn't given me his name, though Demyx called him 'Little Prince'—wiped his eyes with his sleeve. "A person is made up of three parts—body, soul, and heart. The body is the only part of a person that ages consistently. The heart and soul are shaped by the experiences a body has, and the choices a person makes. A certain situation or choice can make a soul age or even lag behind so that it doesn't match the age of the body." He bit his lip, and looked away from me. "Basically what I mean is…when my heart and I were separated from our body…we stopped aging. Or, at least, our aging slowed down considerably."_

_My gaze hardened, remembering what the Queen had said as she left. "How old were you when she…?"_

" _We were eight." He said, still refusing to look at me. "In nine years, I've only aged two. And that's just because Mother…well, it's only because of her."_

" _That bitch." I growled, hands balling into fists at my sides. "Why would you die for her? How could you even_ _ **consider**_ _…?"_

" _Why do you put up with your dad?" He asked. "It's just…one of those things, y'know?"_

" _No, I don't know." I snapped. "It's one thing to let my old man rough me up every once in a while. Plus he's drunk, and he does all of that shit because of my mom being dead. But your mom…she's just doing this for her own sick, selfish plans! She's going to_ _ **kill**_ _you so she can stay in a stolen body!"_

" _It doesn't matter!" He said. "I wish I could just flip a switch and feel nothing for her, but I can't! When Hayner gets here…if and when she catches him and we merge back together, we'll die for her. Even though we don't want to, we will." He bit his bottom lip and looked up at me again through the fringe of his bangs. "But it doesn't matter either way, does it? Because you're here, now, so everything is going to be alright."_

" _Sure, kid." I muttered, uncomfortable with the unwavering trust I saw in his eyes. "Everything will be alright."_

_And then, as the kid smiled at me and I was wondering how in the hell I was supposed to follow through with my promise, it hit me. Suddenly, I knew what I had to do._

_Miss Astor (the Blue Fairy) had been right—now that I had found Hayner's soul, I knew exactly what I needed to do in order to bring this whole mess to an end. It was completely clear in my mind; no doubts or questions or anything._

_I smirked grimly and put a hand on the kid's hair, ruffling it a little as I said, with utmost confidence this time, "I promise, kid, everything is going to be alright."_

_His smile widened and, as if this is what everything had been geared for in the first place…_

_I woke up._


	20. Edoceo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edoceo (to inform fully, instruct thoroughly)

" _I believe in you, and nothing less. I believe in you, can't help myself. You're all the hope, the reason that I need; I believe in you just because I don't need no one to prove your love. For all that I have seen; it's easier for me to believe in you." –Joy Williams, 'I Believe in You'_

As I woke up, I was overcome by the feeling that I was coming down from some incredible high.

' _In fact,_ ' I thought, ' _this feels a lot like—_ '

I opened my eyes, and all thought disappeared as they met with someone else's eyes.

Someone else's _blue_ eyes.

Someone else's blue eyes _attached to a naked body_.

Someone else's blue eyes attached to a naked body _that was attached to mine_.

I, for the first and only time in my life, screamed like a girl.

The eyes shifted, and Sora yelped as they focused in on me, screaming back at me.

I pulled out of him (fucking hell, had I been _sleep-sexing_? Was that even _possible_?) and threw myself away from him, both of us still screaming at each other.

"What the fuck is going—holy shit!" Cid yelled, slamming the door shut almost as soon as he'd opened it.

I finally stopped screaming—though I'm still not sure if it was the sound of Cid's voice or the slamming door that made me snap out of it—and then began scrambling around the room, grabbing my clothes as I saw them. Eventually, after leaving my boxers on the just-out-of-reach fan as a lost cause, I stuffed my feet in my shoes, covered as much as I could with the clothes I had managed to get together, opened the door, and stalked down the hall to my room with as much dignity as I could muster.

"What did you do to Sora, you…you sicko?" Riku asked angrily.

"I didn't do anything to that little pervert! I just woke up!" I snapped.

"You were in his room! Naked!" Riku yelled.

"Well then maybe I was sleepwalking." I snarled sarcastically, then slammed the door shut in his face. "Now fuck off!"

Hushed talking followed. Well, maybe it wasn't all that hushed; I don't really remember. At the time, I had kind of collapsed on my bed, in shock about the whole waking-up-post-coitus thing.

It wasn't even like some Las Vegas-esque, we-got-smashed-and-had-sex-but-don't-remember freak outs. This went _far_ beyond that. For one thing, we were nowhere near Vegas. And for another, neither of us had drunk anything the night before, as evidenced by my glaringly obvious lack of a hangover.

And besides that was the fact that it was _me_. And _Sora_. That's just _wrong_. It would be like…like _Cid_ fucking _Aerith_. 'Wrong' with a capital W-R-O-N-G.

In any case, I was in shock. That was probably why, besides not hearing any of the conversations going on outside of my doorway, I also didn't notice Sora opening the door to my room and limping in until he sat down on the bed beside me.

I jumped a little, opening my eyes and looking at him. Sadly, I wasn't in the position to punch him as I usually would have, so I just sneered at him instead.

"You can fuck off, too." I said before throwing an arm over my eyes.

Sora sighed softly. "It was Roxas."

"Eh?" I peeked out at him.

"He just…confessed." He said. "About what happened…I mean, what we woke up to back there."

I scowled, but didn't say anything.

"He says that you…switched souls, somehow…with Axel. It's some sort of spell that Zexion did." He continued, not looking at me. "I guess they were…that is to say, I guess they must really like each other, y'know? He says Axel came to talk to him, and they got…carried away."

I snorted. "That's a hell of an understatement if I've ever heard one."

"Yeah." He let out a short, bitter laugh that was more than a little out of place coming from him.

"Alright, well…thanks for telling me." I said, feeling uncomfortable. "Now seriously—fuck off."

He didn't move for a moment, but finally stood, hissing with pain and sitting down again.

I rolled my eyes and opened my mouth to say something, but he spoke before I could get so much as a syllable out.

"Do you think I'm gay?" He blurted, giving me an alarmed look.

"…Huh?" I asked. Seriously, two bi-curious guys in as many days? And both of them had decided _I_ was the one to come to with this shit? This had to be some sort of fucking joke, right?

"Well…Roxas is gay, obviously." He blushed a little. "And he's my soul, so…does that mean I'm gay, too?"

"I don't know." I groused, sitting up and scratching my head. "It's not like I'm some sort of _expert_ on this sort of shit just because I'm gay!"

"How did you know you were gay?" He asked desperately.

"I don't fucking know, chickenwuss!" I said. "I just… _knew_ , okay? Other guys talked about girls and tits and shit, and I realized I was more interested in sneaking a peek at _them_ than I was the girls. If you're so curious, why don't you talk to Cid? _He's_ gay, too! I'm not some sort of Homo-expert or whatever just because I happen to like boys. Jesus."

He giggled. "Yeah, okay." He paused, suddenly hesitant. "Say…can I ask you one more question?"

"Sora…"

"Just one more, I swear!"

I clenched my jaw shut and closed my eyes, counting to ten. "Shoot." I finally gritted out. He obviously wasn't going to fucking leave until he asked.

He took a deep breath. "Do you think Riku is gay?"

I blinked. "…Are you serious?"

Sora nodded, biting his bottom lip.

"Aw, hell, Sora, I don't fucking know." I groaned. "I mean…he _looks_ gay, I guess, if you wanna go all stereotypical and shit, but I _don't_ look gay, so…who knows? Why don't you just ask him?"

Sora gasped and turned red. "Eh? No, I couldn't! I'd be too embarrassed!"

I frowned. "So…you like him?"

He pursed his lips, looking down. "I don't really know. I mean, if I did that would definitely mean I'm gay, but I'm not sure of that, either. Riku's my best friend, though…but Kairi's my best friend, too! I'm just…I'm so confused right now…"

"Well…it's not like you have to be in a hurry to figure stuff out, right?" I asked. "Take your time and think about it—which of them do you like more? Or…I mean, the person you like doesn't have to be one of them just because they're your friends. You could like…shit, I dunno…René, I guess, or…maybe…Olette?"

He laughed. "Definitely not Olette. I hardly know her!"

I shrugged. "Yeah, sure. All I'm saying is that you don't need to rush yourself about this."

He grinned widely at me. "Thanks, Seifer." He stood up again, letting out a small whimper but not falling over this time. "You're a real pal."

I rolled my eyes. "Your ass hurts, doesn't it?"

His blush from before returned with a vengeance. "Y-yeah." He squeaked.

I reached into the nightstand next to my bed and grabbed a bottle of ibuprofen. "Take two of these and a hot bath and you'll feel a little better."

His eyes widened. "You mean you…?"

"I…what?"

"You've had sex before?" He asked.

"Me? Sure, but not on bottom." I said as coolly as I could even though I could feel my cheeks heating up a little. "Well, still not on bottom, I guess…but I fight a lot, so I'm used to being sore and having to deal with cramps and sore muscles and stuff. This is…kind of like that, I think."

He nodded wordlessly, then his eyebrows furrowed together.

"What?"

"Roxas says he's really sorry." He said. "To both of us."

"Nah, 's okay." I waved him off. "It just…freaked me out a little." I smirked. "But thanks to them, now I have a _real_ plan."

He perked up. "Really?"

I nodded. "Yeah. The Queen's gonna be sorry she fucked with me by the time I'm finished with her…" My smirk turned feral. "Assuming there's anything _left_ of her by the time I'm finished."

"Oooh, tell me!" He exclaimed eagerly, clasping his hands together like some sort of middle school girl.

I rolled my eyes and stood up, ruffling his hair. "I'll tell everyone."

"Yay!" He cheered, then yelped. "Ooh, oww…"

"Take the pills and a bath." I said, shoving him toward the door lightly. "I'll wait and tell everyone when you're done, okay?"

He nodded enthusiastically, downing the pills even though he didn't have anything to wash them down with (that had to be fucking disgusting) and tried to take off to the bathroom. But after about two steps he let out another exclamation and took it slower.

Looking after him, I sighed a little.

I had promised to tell them my plan, but…

I couldn't, and wouldn't, tell them all of it.

(PAGEBREAK,Y'KNOW?)

"So, so, so?" Sora said as he flopped into a seat beside René, looking as if he had completely recovered from that morning's…excitement.

"So, what?" René asked, startled.

" _Sooo_ , Seifer said he has a plan!" He replied.

"You do?" Hayner looked at me, his expression a mixture of surprise and hope.

I nodded. "But it's going to be really risky. I haven't completely figured everything out yet, and I can't tell you all of it."

"Why?" Cid frowned disapprovingly.

"I don't know that I could pull off what I'm thinking if you guys know everything." I explained. "I think it'll work better if everyone is surprised, including you guys."

"…Fine." Cid said, still frowning at me.

I ignored him. "Alright, well…like I said, I haven't worked out all of the kinks yet, but I'm pretty sure it'll work regardless."

"Okay, okay, whatever! Just _tell_ us!" Sora said impatiently.

"Keep your pants on, lamer." I said, then took a deep breath, mentally preparing myself for their reactions. "Look, so…first, we have to let the Queen have Roxas."

As I expected, there was an immediate uproar, mostly compliments of Riku and René.

"What?" They yelled in almost perfect unison (René was a bit louder).

"Hear me out!" I said. "We can't sit back and wait her out, not if we want to save Hayner and the Organization."

"The Organization?" Sora echoed softly. "So they…they're really back?"

"Yeah." I said.

"All of them?" Donald asked.

"I guess so." I said. "They somehow switched me with one of them, and I saw eleven of them in the cell with me. That's twelve."

"And that Roxas fella makes thirteen." Goofy said.

"And just _why_ do we have to give her Sora's soul to save them?" René asked.

"Because I don't want her to take anyone else." I said. "And because I think they're strong enough to fight against whatever spell she's gonna be using to anchor Roxas down. So what I'm thinking is…"

"How are we supposed to give her Roxas?" Riku interrupted angrily. "Are we just gonna hand Sora over to her?"

"I'm getting to that, if you'd fucking shut up for a minute." I glared at him fiercely for a moment, then looked at Sora. "I remember one of you telling me that Riku can control darkness, right? And he can unlock the darkness in your heart. So I think what we can do is have Riku and you fight for some reason…a big, explosive fight, like maybe…he's pissed about what happened this morning and blows it out of proportion or something like that. Since you can sort of control where your heart goes, give it to one of us so we can give it back to you while Riku takes Roxas to the Queen."

"Excuse me?" Riku asked.

"You're the one getting pissed, so it'll make more sense if you do it. Plus, I'm betting she knows about you giving in to the darkness once already, so I don't think she'll be too suspicious if you do it again."

"Yeah, okay, but Sora won't be able to give his heart to anyone _here_." He said. "He can only give it to Kairi."

"I can give my heart to whoever I want." Sora said with a slight frown, an unreadable expression on his face.

"Sora, everyone here is a _guy_." Riku said, pulling a face. "That'd make you… _gay_ …wouldn't it?"

Sora recoiled a little.

"You got a problem with gays?" Cid asked.

"Not with you guys." Riku said quickly. "But Sora isn't gay! He likes Kairi!"

"How would you know?" René asked. "Sora can like anyone he wants to like, girl _or_ boy!"

"Save the fighting for later." I broke in before anyone else could speak up. "Can you do it or can't you, Riku? Sora?"

They both nodded, neither looking at the other.

Riku looked pissed. Sora looked…kind of heartbroken.

"And…after the Queen gets Roxas?" Cid prompted, frowning at the two sullen friends.

"Well, I'm hoping that Riku will be able to 'join' the Queen, and maybe find out some other loopholes to the spell, if there are any other than the two I'm thinking of."

"Two?" Hayner asked.

"Yeah." I said. "Sort of. Roxas is one of them, since I'm pretty sure he can disrupt whatever she uses on him to get him to create that barrier. And the second…" I trailed off, pursing my lips together.

"And the second…?" Riku motioned at me to continue.

"That's part of what I can't tell you." I said carefully. "But if I'm right about it…well, it might just put an end to all of this bullshit."

"That's fucking suspicious." Cid said.

"I agree." Sora said, giving me a surprisingly stern look. "You can't keep us in the dark if it's dangerous, Seifer."

"Sure I can." I said with a smirk. "Would you guys _trust_ me, already? The element of surprise sometimes works better if _everyone_ is surprised."

"Just so long as you swear you're not going to do something really stupid and end up killing yourself." Hayner said.

I shrugged. "Look, lamer, I can't promise that. We don't know what's gonna happen, or what sort of shit that bitch is gonna have waiting for us. All I can promise—all _any_ of us can promise, for that matter—is that we'll try our best."

He wrinkled his nose, but nodded.

"I just wish we had a foolproof way to get all of the souls out of the fucking way." I said, letting out a frustrated sigh.

" _I might be able to help with that!"_

We all jumped a little as the image of a young boy—somewhere in his tweens, I'd guess—appeared on a nearby screen.

"Lewis?" René blinked.

" _Hey, René! I was thinking about all of that stuff you and your friends told me, and finishing up some of the research on you that I started back when we met, and I'm pretty sure I have a good idea what's going on."_ The boy said. _"So I triangulated the position of your ship based on the signal from the phone I gave you, and we caught up with you, so would you guys let us dock and board? This will be a lot easier to explain face-to-face."_

(PAGEBREAK,Y'KNOW?)

A few moments later we had been officially introduced to Lewis and Wilbur, a father-son combination that was more dysfunctional than any other I'd met, including my own. See, Lewis was Wilbur's dad. Or would be, since he as actually a year _younger_ than Wilbur. Apparently, Wilbur had gone back in time and brought Lewis to the future for reasons too complicated to explain here. The gist of it is that they were searching the worlds for someone they referred to as 'The Bowler Hat Guy.'

Don't fucking ask, okay? I told you it was complicated.

In any case, we had been officially introduced and given a short run-down of their history. Then, Lewis dove straight into the problem at hand.

"Okay, so the first thing I would like to establish is that René, whatever you guys may have previously been led to believe, isn't a copy. Or a replica." Lewis said. "He's a clone."

"There's a difference?" Riku asked with a scowl.

"Yes, and a pretty big one at that." Lewis said. "To be a copy means that you're an _exact_ double of your original, which René most definitely isn't. Actually, there's no such thing as a copy of a person. Humans are too complex to be replicated, and there are too many outside factors that affect what a person is like. Even if we just take the most basic layers of a person, it's not in any way possible to replicate one due to one seemingly simple part."

"Which is…" Sora asked.

"The soul." Lewis said. "Hearts and bodies can be created, that much scientists have known for a while even if not many have perfected the art."

"In your time." Wilbur snickered.

"Shut up." Lewis hissed before returning to his lecture as if nothing had happened. "Souls, on the other hand, are far too unstable to even _try_ to make, much less _replicate_."

"Yeah, he's right. He—well, he as my dad—has tried before." Wilbur said with a sage nod. "Bad week at the Robinson house."

"The toilet?" Lewis asked with a grimace.

"The toilet." Wilbur said.

"I don't want to know." I said before anyone could ask.

"Right." Lewis said. "Anyhow, because of his lack of a soul, René has an advantage."

"Over…?" I asked.

"Everyone else." Lewis said. "René is basically a husk. It's a bad way to put it, but it's true. Most normal humans will disappear after they've lost their soul, like Hayner is. But since René never had one in the first place, he won't. It's like…his body doesn't know what it's missing, so it doesn't know how to react to that. Or…something. Anyhow…now, he's kind of like a soul-catcher."

"You mean…if I went near a soul, I would…like, suck it up?" René asked.

"Yep." Lewis said. "And, assuming that its original body and heart had been destroyed, you would assimilate it into yourself so that it would become your own. Souls _need_ to feel complete, you see; that's why Organization XIII was created and had such a large following of Nobodies."

"Could he accidentally suck up Sora's soul?" I asked. "We're planning on releasing it in order to get closer to the Queen, so…"

"No, no." He shook his head. "I'm pretty sure his soul is safe, as long as his body and heart are still alive. Even if René _did_ try to suck it up, he wouldn't be able to keep it for long, especially if he was near Sora. Once Sora's soul is gone, his body and heart will start calling for it, in a way, so that as soon as they're close enough again they'll merge."

"I have a question." Sora said. "We think that the Queen disrupted our merge, so that even now we aren't completely back together. Is there…I mean, will we be able to be one again someday, now that we've gotten rid of her spell?"

Lewis thought for a moment, then pulled some weird gadget out of the small duffel bag he had brought onto the ship with him. He pointed it at Sora, fiddling with a few of the buttons.

"I _think_ …" He began. "I think that whatever spell that woman was using isn't the reason you and your soul haven't merged together. Now that you're _aware_ of your soul, I don't think you'll ever be able to completely forget about it. And those memories are keeping you from fully merging."

"Oh." Sora frowned thoughtfully.

"But I doubt that's a bad thing, really." Lewis shrugged. "A little inconvenient sometimes, maybe, but it shouldn't affect you."

"Oh." He said again, but this time he had his usual grin on his face.

Lewis started to say something, waving his hand a little, then stopped as the little machine in his hand made a strange beeping noise, like a metal detector that had just passed over a hunk of scrap metal. He blinked at it, then looked at me.

"You…what are you?" He asked.

"The fuck do you mean 'what am I'?" I asked.

"I mean exactly what I asked." He said, adjusting the dials on the machine again. "That's…that's so bizarre!"

"Lewis, make sense when you talk." Wilbur said, rolling his eyes. "And don't leave us out of the loop just because we aren't freakishly smart!"

Lewis gave him a dry look, but explained, "This machine measure the frequency of your body, heart and soul. Each of these dials hones in on one of those frequencies." He paused. "For most people, the frequency stays relatively the same. The only discrepancies usually come from the differences in age—for example, Wilbur's body and my body would have relatively the same frequency, since we're about the same age. But René's body is on an almost completely different frequency from anyone else's since it was created, not born. The same goes for his heart, and of course since he doesn't have a soul the frequency is non-existent entirely."

"Okay, so…?" I asked.

"So your body's frequency is almost the same as René's." Lewis said, adjusting his glasses and giving me a hard look. "But your soul has a frequency similar to Sora's, and your heart is on almost the exact same frequency as Hayner's."

"Well fuck if I know." I said. "I thought I was a normal person."

"But didn't Merlin say that you'd been made younger before you got sent to Twilight Town?" Hayner asked. "Could that be why the frequency is weird?"

"No." Lewis said immediately. "If that were the case, then I'm pretty sure the frequency would just be a little wonky. But right now the frequency is _radically_ different from anyone else's—that's why the machine made that weird sound when I pointed it at him. It was set to the same frequency as Sora's body, which should be pretty close to Seifer's since they look like they're about the same age. So maybe I would get a little beep or two, but you guys heard it. That was an _extreme_ reaction."

"Maybe instead of making him younger, Ansem made him another body and then put his head and soul in it." Sora said. "We don't know what his body looked like back then…maybe it was really sick or wounded or something."

"He was supposed to have found him after his world was destroyed, so it _is_ possible." Cid said.

As the wheels in my mind started turning again, and my plan _really_ started taking shape, I began wondering just how true Hayner's belief in 'no such thing as coincidences' really was.

"Okay, that's perfect!" I said.

"What in the hell are you talking about, dumbass?" Hayner asked.

"Shut the fuck up, lamer." I snapped, then looked at Lewis. "Is there any way for you and cone head over there to find my real body?"

Lewis' eyebrows furrowed together as Wilbur let out an indignant squawk at having been called 'cone head.' "As long as it's still around…I mean, it would have had to have been put under some sort of stasis spell to keep it from disappearing or something without its heart or soul, and if we do find it and release it we'll be hard pressed to get it to you in enough time to keep all of you from disappearing…"

"You didn't answer my question, Lewis. Can you find it?" I asked.

"Well…yeah, probably."

"Good." I said. "You have four days before the Blood Moon—that gives you two days to find it and two days to get it to Prydain."

"Seifer…" Hayner began.

"You trust me, don't you, lamer?" I asked, grabbing his hand and squeezing it. "I'm taking care of things, okay?"

"You don't play fair." He huffed, looking away from me.

I snorted but didn't comment. "Right. So Sora and Riku, you already have your job. Riku, if you can get in a little closer to the Queen and feed us some more information on the ritual, that'd be really helpful. If you can't…well, whatever. Nice try. René, once Sora's reclaimed Roxas, I want you to suck up one of the Nobodies."

"Which one?" René asked.

"It doesn't…" I paused, glancing surreptitiously at Sora. "The one with spiky as hell red hair."

Sora jolted forward a little, giving me a wide-eyed look. I just smirked back at him.

"Spiky red hair, got it." René said, though he was looking between Sora and I strangely.

"Then I'll work my magic, kill the bitch, get my original body back, and all will be well." I said.

"Still sounds fishy to me, you being so damn vague." Cid said.

"Just trust him." Hayner said, smiling at me just a bit. "He's an idiot sometimes, but he usually gets things right eventually."

"Shit, chickenwuss, if you keep this up I might start thinking you actually like me." I drawled.

"See? He's an idiot sometimes." Hayner said, his grin widening.

"Right." Lewis giggled. "Well, we had better go now if we want to find your body in time."

"What about the Bowler Hat Guy?" Wilbur asked.

"This is more important right now. Just come on." Lewis said. "Taran, are you going to stay here with them?"

The third newcomer, who had stayed quiet up until then, nodded. "Yes; if there's someone this evil on my world, I have to help get rid of her."

"You'll only get in my way." I said. "So fuck off, shorty."

"I am not short." Taran said. "And you need me."

"For what?"

"You don't know where the Queen is, do you?" He asked.

"You already told us—the Horned King's castle." René said.

"You don't know where _that_ is." He said. "And besides, you'll need a boat to get there."

"We have the Highwind." Cid said. "I doubt we need a fucking _boat_."

He shook his head. "You'll need a boat. This ship won't be able to get to the island."

"Why not?" Cid asked, bristling a bit at the apparent insult to his beloved Highwind.

"I've seen people try to go to the island that appeared in the Horned Lake in ships like these." Taran said. "They all go out of control, crash, and are destroyed by the monsters in the lake. Not to mention the Gwythaints."

"Gwythaints?" I asked.

He grinned. "You'll have to take me along if you want my help."

"Son of a bitch." I cursed.

Triumphantly, he smiled and waved at Lewis and Wilbur. "See you soon, Lewis. Wilbur. Thank you very much for helping me."

"'S what friends are for." Wilbur said. "Good luck, everyone."

"Good luck to you, too!" Sora chirped.

They left, and Cid stood, looking at me expectantly.

Making a face, I put my hand on Hayner's arm, holding out my other hand, which was the one with the ring on it. The ring glowed, and let out the small beacon of light that always appeared when I touched Hayner.

Hayner reached up and put his hand overtop of mine.

"Let's go."


	21. Devenio

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Devenio (to come to, arrive at, reach)

' _What happened to us? I heard that it's me we should blame. What happened to us? Why didn't you stop me from turning out this way? And know that I don't hate you…and know that I don't want to fight you…and know that I'll always love you…but right now I just don't…' –Relient K, 'Which to Bury, Us or the Hatchet'_

The rest of the trip to Prydain was horrendously fucking quiet, after Lewis and Wilbur left. Tensions grew high in the ship as Sora and I grew surprisingly closer. Or maybe it wasn't so surprising, seeing as how Riku was still pissed at the both of us for some reason, René was mad about the whole 'let's sacrifice Sora' thing, and Hayner just seemed to be confused about everything. And maybe a little put out about not knowing all of my plan. Cid, of course, was keeping the fuck out of it all (the lucky son of a bitch), mostly by pretending to be really busy flying the ship whenever the tensions rose too high for his liking. Every once in a while he would yell at us to sit the fuck down or shut the fuck up or drink the goddamned tea and like it, but mostly he stayed out of it.

Donald and Goofy tried to avoid the brunt of everything, too. They were, I think, more confused than anyone else about what was going on. Evidently, no one in the realm of Disney is gay.

Go fucking figure.

I was pulled out of my thoughts abruptly as Sora plopped down next to me, linking his arms around one of mine.

"Can I help you?" I asked, arching an eyebrow at him.

"This is fine." He replied cheekily as he snuggled closer. Then he sighed sadly. "Riku's getting pissed again. About me hanging around you so much."

"Oh?" My other eyebrow joined the first.

"Says you're a bad influence on me." He nodded.

I snorted and turned my eyes onto the blank sketchbook page I'd been staring at for nearly half an hour. "The fuck's that supposed to mean?"

"Because you're gay…and he thinks that's what's making me so…umm…"

"Bi-curious." I supplied.

He giggled. "Sure. Bi-curious. Anyhow, he thinks it's your fault."

"Right. Because I've been forcing you to have wild, gay sex with me every night since _your_ Nobody and his fuck buddy forced _my body_ to have wild, gay sex with _yours_."

"Axel isn't Roxas'…" Sora's face scrunched up. He didn't like to cuss. "They love each other, Seifer."

"I hate to break it to you, short stuff, but they don't have hearts. Can't love."

"It takes more than just a heart to love someone." Sora insisted stubbornly. "Haven't you ever heard of people loving each other heart and soul? Maybe their hearts don't…can't…love each other, but Nobodies _are_ souls. They can love with what they have."

I rolled the information around in my head for a moment. "Alright, I'll buy that. But either way, those two…soul mates…" I snickered a little at the idea. "Forced our bodies to have sex. So my previous sarcasm still stands."

He laughed again. "Yeah, okay." He was quiet for a moment. I made a few simple, nonsensical lines on the page. "Either way, I don't think all of our argument is gonna be fake. I think he's really angry about all of this."

"If he doesn't like it, he can go fuck himself." I shrugged, tapping my pencil on the edge of the sketchpad thoughtfully, more intent on the shapeless picture than the conversation. "Riku's a control freak, Sora. He's got this big plan all drawn out in his head because he feels like he's gotta overcompensate for being dragged into the darkness, or some psychological bullshit like that. He wants you to marry Kairi and him to marry some other chick from the Islands, and both of you to get nice little yellow houses with white picket fences and a dog and two and a half brats, and for all of you to grow old together as friends, and maybe one of your kids will marry one of his or something. You being gay is _not_ part of the plan."

He gave me a dry look. "Have you been watching some sort of weird documentary or something, Seifer?" He asked, voice only half-teasing.

"I call it as I see it." I said. "Riku's insecure and he's taking it out on you, and you aren't the type to take anyone's bullshit—even if you have been best friends all of your lives—so he's turning into a bitch. So I see this going one of three ways: One, he pulls his head out of his ass and gets over himself. Two, you decide to suddenly become a pussy and let him push you around. And three, you guys argue like hell and go your separate ways. I kinda favor number one, myself, but he's a stubborn son of a bitch, and hopefully you are, too, so I'm thinking it'll probably be number three."

"But…but Riku's my best friend." He said. "I don't want to lose that just because of this!"

"Well, then, you're gonna have to talk to him or some shit, because the problem isn't going to fix itself," I said, making a few more vicious swipes with my pencil. "And I sure as hell ain't fixing it for you—I'm not some goddamned relationship therapist."

"But…"

I let out a frustrated huff of air and turned on him, setting my drawing supplies aside. "Look, Sora, I'm not telling you that you have to go up to him right now and say 'Riku, pull your head out of your ass or we're not friends anymore.' You probably have plenty of time before this thing reaches that point, and there's a lot of shit going on right now, so I doubt you really have the time or the peace of mind to sit down and talk it out with him. Plus, you guys really being pissed at each other will probably help, as much as that sucks right now. You'll have time afterwards to force feed him some big doses of reality. So just relax and focus on what's going on right now, and leave the personal drama for _after_ we kick the Queen's ass. Okay?"

He sighed again. "Okay, I guess. I just…I don't want to lose my best friend over something so stupid."

"It's not stupid." I said. "He's trying to force you into something that you might not want, Sora; that isn't stupid at all, and it also isn't something you should have to deal with, especially coming from someone who claims to know you so well."

"I get it, I get it." He said, putting his hands up in surrender. "I'll talk to him after…everything else."

"Good." I said, picking my art stuff up again. "Now fuck off. I'm trying to draw, here."

He giggled and kissed my cheek. "You'd make a good therapist, Seifer."

"No way in hell. I'd kill somebody within the first half hour. And I meant it when I said fuck off, so _fuck off_."

"You guys look like you're having fun." Hayner said cheerfully as he entered the room.

"I came back here so I could get some fucking peace and quiet—where are you bastards coming from?" I demanded angrily.

"We came from another part of the ship, a-hyuck." Goofy and Donald trailed in behind Hayner.

"Cid says we're about to land." Donald said. "He sent us to round everyone up!"

I looked at Sora, who had gone slightly pale. "You gonna be alright, lamer?" I asked.

He nodded jerkily. "I trust you guys to save me…or, well, to save Roxas."

"Good." I slapped his back comfortingly, then looked at Hayner. "Chickenwuss?"

Hayner smiled thinly. "I trust you."

' _Not **you guys**_ ,' His eyes seemed to say. ' _Just_ **_you_**.'

I returned his smile and grabbed his hand, squeezing it tightly.

"Alright, guys." I said. "Let's go kick some ass!"

o.O.o.O.o

Sora and Riku began bickering just before the door to the ship opened, when Riku saw me holding his hand (I had switched from Hayner's hand to Sora's as we entered the entrance of the ship). Like Sora had predicted, the argument hardly seemed contrived. Riku had started in on us immediately upon seeing us, and I could have sworn I saw actual steam start blowing out of his ears.

I won't go into the particulars of everything that they said to each other—some things are never meant to be said once, much less repeated on paper. Certainly never repeated to anyone who wasn't directly involved. I'm sure your imaginations can fill in the blanks. Suffice it to say, the wounds they tore into each other that day—both verbal and physical—would take a while to heal.

Riku drew his sword first and attacked without preamble; Sora barely had time to summon his Keyblade and block the attack. They fought like animals, in that passionate but sloppy way that people do when they're so angry they can't think. If most sword fights are supposed to be like a dance, theirs (regardless of the fact that they weren't technically using swords) was more like something out of a mosh pit: elbows to the face that weren't in the least bit planned, complete chaos that was only synchronized in moments of pure coincidence…

It was brutal, and watching it I never would have guessed that they'd ever been friends.

And then, in a moment that almost _had_ to have been on purpose because of how perfectly timed it seemed, Riku knocked Sora's Keyblade out of his hands. Sora tripped as he tried to back up and away from Riku, falling flat on his ass and staring up at his best friend (?) with wide, hurt eyes.

"This is it, Sora." Riku said, as if he was just realizing the severity of what he was about to do. Then, before Sora had any time to react or even reply (and before he had time to back out of it, probably), he plunged his sword into Sora's chest, twisting it and causing Sora to let out a shrill scream of pain. A heart appeared above Sora's chest, then disappeared as Sora's body began writhing and changing into a Shadow heartless. A body—Roxas' body—fell to the ground next to it, and Riku grabbed him, throwing him over one shoulder and, with one last glare at us, summoned a portal and disappeared into it.

"Where did Sora's heart go?" Donald asked. "If it went to Kairi, we won't be able to—"

He was cut off as the Shadow scuttled over to René, throwing its misshapen arms around him. It glowed for a moment, then suddenly it was Sora again, sobbing into René's chest.

"He hates me! Riku really, really hates me!" He wept.

"Shh, Sora, it's okay." René said, patting Sora's back awkwardly. "He doesn't hate you."

"He was s-so mad…"

"Sora, calm down." I said. "I know it's tough, but for right now we've got bigger things on our hands. You can cry when the Queen's dead."

René glared at me, but Sora nodded, sniffling loudly and wiping his nose.

"You're right." The normally eternally optimistic boy said. "Let's go."

We all looked at Taran.

"So?" I said.

"This way." Taran said, visibly shaken by what we had just seen. I think all of us were, but like I said: we had bigger things to deal with. He motioned at us to follow him into the forest ahead. "We aren't far away from the lake."

The forest was predictably creepy and ominous. We kept jumping at the slightest noise, and a few times we had to stop and fight some heartless that appeared. Between the eight of us it was damn easy to take care of them. Heartless aren't exactly what I'd call difficult opponents. The closer we got to our destination, though, the bigger and meaner they got. Most of them we had seen in Jiminy's journal, so it was nothing Sora, Donald, and Goofy wouldn't have been able to defeat on their own. But a few of them no one had ever seen before. Those were the hardest, but still nowhere near difficult to defeat.

Taran was, predictably, the weakest of all of us. He wasn't useless, per se, and he didn't slow us down (of course, since he was in the lead he was also setting the pace, so…), but he was still the weakest. Donald followed in a close second, if only because he kept casting the wrong magic on the wrong heartless—like a thunder spell on a Yellow Rhapsody, which _healed_ the little mother fuckers.

But I noticed, as we continued, that the more heartless we defeated, the stronger we became. It was like some weird power-up from a video game or something.

Weird, right? I mean, in real life people don't get all that much stronger during fights—much less get stronger with _continuous_ fighting rather than just getting worn out. But whatever, I guess...just one more thing to add to the list of weird bullshit that was going on in my life.

And then, quite suddenly, the forest just…ended.

Ahead of us was a foggy bog, seemingly endless. We could _just_ make out the tiers of a castle or some other kind of stronghold.

Breathing heavily from a battle that had finished mere moments before, I sat down on a small but conveniently placed boulder.

"It's getting late." I said. "Let's rest here for the night and go across in the morning."

"Good—I have to go get the boat anyhow." Taran said.

"And Donald and me'll go with ya." Goofy said with that annoyingly goofy laugh of his (no pun intended). "So ya don't get bogged down by the heartless."

"Okay, let's go. If we leave now we should get back by midnight." Taran said, and the three of them disappeared back into the forest.

"We should take turns watching the campsite." Cid said as Sora and Hayner started settling down for the night on some little patches of moss. Luckily, it was warm enough that we didn't have to worry about getting cold, since none of us had really thought about bringing anything to sleep on (we hadn't expected for it to take this long).

"I'll take first watch." I said, noticing that Sora and Hayner, the two who were functioning without souls, were the most tired.

"Wake me up when you get tired." René said, flopping down close to Sora.

"And I'll take the last watch. Let those two sleep." Cid said gruffly as he tossed some dry driftwood into a pile in the middle of the impromptu campsite and lighting it with his lighter and some paper he'd pulled from who-knows-where. Then he plopped down near to it, almost immediately starting to snore.

"Got it." I said, pulling my legs up onto the boulder so I could sit cross-legged. I rested Hyperion in the middle of my legs, so it was propped up on my shoulder, and swept my gaze over the murky water of the lake.

The next few hours passed with deceptive quietness (you know, like the 'it's quiet…TOO quiet' bullshit that people always manage to say in movies). It set me on edge at first, but after a while I could feel myself starting to drift off. I was just about to wake René when I heard a stick crack not far away from us. I jumped up off of the boulder and turned toward the forest, holding Hyperion in front of me threateningly.

"Taran? Goofy? Donald? Is that you guys?" I asked, wondering if enough time had passed for them to already have returned.

There was some rustling, and I could feel myself scowling as I registered the fact that Taran and the others would probably be returning on water, since they had left to get a boat. The hair on the back of my neck stood up as the sounds got closer, and I roared (roared, not screamed) with surprise as a small brown blur appeared at the edge of the forest.

The blur screeched and disappeared in a nearby bush.

"Oi! Come back out here!" I said angrily, making a quick slice at the bush. The blur appeared again, scrambling closer to the campsite instead of farther away like you'd think it would. "Get away from there before I slice you in half, heartless!"

The blur screamed again, the sound finally waking up the others.

"Don't hurt Gurgi, Master!" The voice had a lisp, like a child's. "Gurgi saw the fire and thought there might be some munchies and crunchies for Gurgi!"

"What the hell?" I heard René ask as all of us finally got a good look at the dog-like creature rolling around and holding its hands up in a surrendering motion.

"Gurgi!"

We looked out at the lake, where Donald, Goofy, and Taran (who had spoken) were breaking through the fog in a sizeable boat.

"Seifer, don't hurt him!" Taran said as he through out the boat's anchor (which was actually little more than a big rock with a rope tied around it) and leapt out of the boat. "It's Gurgi!"

"Master!" The thing—Gurgi—said, throwing itself around Taran's legs.

"Oh, Gurgi, you're alright!" Taran said, ruffling Gurgi's hair. "I was afraid you might have gotten hurt since I left."

"No, no, Gurgi is very clever! Gurgi takes Master's Princess and keeps her safe from the nasty, wicked lady!" Gurgi said, puffing his chest out proudly.

"Well isn't that sweet? What a happy reunion!"

A shiver ran up my spine at the sound of that voice, and I turned with wide eyes to face the speaker.

"D…Dad?"


	22. Carpe Diem

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Carpe Diem (seize the day)

" _He can't remember the times that he thought: 'Does my daddy love me? Probably not.' That didn't stop him from wishing that he did; didn't keep him from wanting or worshipping him…He grew to hate him for what he had done, 'cause what kind of father could do that to his son? He said 'damn you daddy' the day that he died. The man didn't blink, but the little boy cried: I love you this much, and I'm waiting on you to make up your mind—do you love me too? How ever long it takes, I'm never giving up. No matter what: I love you this much." –Jimmy Wayne, 'I Love You This Much'_

"D-Dad?" My eyes were wide as I looked at him. He was standing at the edge of the forest, leaning against a tree with a bottle of some kind of booze in his hand. "What are you…how did you get here?"

He smirked. "Did you _really_ think the Queen was just gonna let you waltz up to her palace without any opposition but those weak heartless?" He pushed himself away from the tree, trudging closer with hardly any of his normal drunken swaying. "I always knew you were an idiot, but goddamn."

"Dad, you shouldn't be here. It's _dangerous_." I said.

"Stop fucking calling me that. Christ, I've _never_ been your _dad_ , alright? I've always treated you like shit, even before all of this heartless bullshit started up."

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"I don't care what he's talking about." Cid spoke up, pointing his spear at my dad threateningly. "You get out of here before I kick your ass to the Underworld."

Dad waved him off, taking a long swig of his drink and then throwing the bottle away. He glared at Cid. "You couldn't kick my ass if I wanted you to, you fucking bitch. Besides, this has nothing to do with you—it's between me and the boy, here." He motioned at me, turning his eerily dark gaze on me. " _Her Majesty_ ," the title was spat out with surprising malice, "asked me to 'take care of you.' Told me to break you before you became too much of a thorn in her side." He sniggered. "Us Almasy's are good at that." Then his eyes narrowed. "'S the only thing _you're_ good at, though, so I agreed to come and finish the job I started back in that hellhole Twilight Town." He paused, almost thoughtfully. "Shit, I probably started it _before_ that. Before the Queen returned my heart to me, even."

"R-returned…" I repeated. "You mean…you were a heartless, too?"

He shrugged. "I was the one who opened the door for them, back in Balamb Gardens."

I stared at him.

"It felt good, too. That place…" He shook his head. "I was a hero, twenty years ago. And how does that piece of shit world repay me? They _killed her_." Then he snorted. "No. _You_ killed her. All that time spent on the verge of death…all that fighting, and we finally fucking made it out alive, and then she goes and dies giving birth to _you_." For just a moment, his face softened into an expression unlike any I had ever seen on his face. "My poor…poor Sonya…" But the moment passed quickly and he scowled at me again. "And you fucking _killed her_."

"No…I didn't…" I began.

"I wanted to kill you then." He cut me off sharply. "Why should she have to die, when _you_ …the little parasite that'd been leeching off of her for nine months…got to live?" His eyes narrowed. "But I couldn't do it. Because you had my Sonya's eyes, and how could I kill something that looked so much like her? Something that was once a part of her?" He shook his head. "It doesn't matter now, you ungrateful little shit. Sonya's son or not, I'm gonna do what I should've done nineteen years ago, when you sucked the life out of my Sonya!" He took a step closer to me, his eyes turning almost completely black with anger. " _This_ is what I should have done in the first place instead of dropping you off at that orphanage, you useless little leech!"

I took a deep breath, steeling up everything I had. My father or not…this had to stop. Especially if I was going to try to make Hayner go against _his_ mother…

"Fine." I said, picking up Hyperion from where I had let it rest against a boulder. "If you want a fight, I'll give it to you." I looked at the others, who were all poised to fight, as well (except for that dog-thing…Gurgi…it had disappeared at some point). "You guys back off. I gotta…do this myself."

They looked unhappy ( _extremely_ unhappy) with the request, but nodded to show they wouldn't interfere. I guess they understood, or something.

I turned back to face my father, holding Hyperion in front of myself. "Alright, let's go."

"You think you can use _that_ against _me_?" Dad smirked. "You conceited little bitch!" He held one hand out. "Hyperion, come to your true master."

Hyperion quivered once, almost as if it was apologizing, then disappeared in a short flash of light, reappearing in my father's hand. His other hand suddenly held a Struggle bat, as if he'd summoned it like Sora summoned his Keyblade, and he threw it at me.

"There—that should suit you better." He let out a derisive snicker as I caught the bat.

My jaw clenched tightly together, but I tilted my head up and forced my mouth into the arrogant smirk for which I'd always been famous.

"This is all I'll need to kick your ass, old man." I spat out, falling into my fighting stance.

He snorted again, but, instead of answering, attacked. I was immediately forced to defend myself from the onslaught—and I could hardly do that, much less attack. All of my attention was focused on parrying his attacks, since completely blocking them was impossible. A Struggle bat would completely break under the sharp steel of Hyperion's blade. As it was, all of the outer covering was being torn and hacked away, so that only the hard wood in the center of it all was left over. And _that_ was getting nicked and shredded…

This wasn't looking to end well for me.

"You see what being an _artist_ has gotten you?" Dad hissed as he pushed me farther and farther back, so that everyone else had to scramble out of the way. " _This_ is why I wanted you to Struggle, boy! In this world…no, in this _universe_ …strength is everything! And you—you're _weak_!"

"I don't have to be stronger than you to beat you, Dad." I gritted out. The water of the lake lapped up against my foot as I was pushed back another step.

He laughed cruelly, getting past my defense just enough for Hyperion to bite into my arm, leaving behind a deep gash. "Not strong enough, not fast enough—" He let out another wicked cackle as Hyperion thwacked against what was left of the Struggle bat and broke it in two, leaving me with nothing but a handle and a joke of a jagged stump. "And not smart en—!"

I fell back under his weight, the 'jagged stump' of my Struggle bat embedded in my father's chest where I had thrust it. When he fought, he swung Hyperion in wide arcs that left a tiny opening—quickly recovering, but not quick enough to save him from the stab of the bat. Blood seeped around the hilt and onto my hand and clothes, the shallow water of the lake turning a sickly red color around us.

"You…" He coughed, blood spewing out onto my face.

"I did both, Dad. I painted _and_ I Struggled." I said as I shoved him off of myself, hard enough that he flew out of the water and on his back on the shore. I swished a hand in the water and wiped my face of some of the blood. "I might not be stronger or faster than you, but I sure as hell _am_ smarter—why else would I have parried all of that shit instead of just dodging it, huh?" I grabbed Hyperion from where he'd dropped it, hefting it over my shoulder and jutting my chin out stubbornly. "Fucking old man."

He tried to laugh, but just ended up coughing up more blood. "So finish it. Kill me, lamer."

I paused, then sighed and thrust Hyperion into the ground beside him. "Like I could do that." I murmured, falling to my knees beside him.

"The fuck're you doing? Fucking _kill_ —" He froze and stared at me, obviously confused out of his fucking mind, as I started to cry. "What in the _hell_ are you crying for, you stupid shit? You're supposed to kill me, now!"

"Don't be stupid." Hayner said, stepping forward and putting a hand on my shoulder. "You're his _father_. Of course he can't kill you."

"That's why he _should_ kill me. I've always treated him like shit, and…"

"Oh, just fucking stop it!" I snapped, wiping my eyes on my arm. "Did you really think any of that would fucking matter, you fucking idiot? It _doesn't_ _matter_ what you do to me! I've beaten the shit out of guys three times your size and half your age—did you really think I couldn't have beat you whenever I wanted?"

"Then…then why…"

"Because you're my dad. And…and you needed a punching bag, after Mom died." I grimaced. "Or…whatever. I just…you're all I had left. I didn't want to…to do anything to change that. And if you roughed me up some every once in a while…or even every day…it didn't matter. You're my _dad_ , you big dumbass. I'll always forgive you. I fucking love you, Dad."

He stared at me for a moment, then fell back and groaned, putting a hand over his eyes. He shook a little, and I started when I realized that _he_ had started to cry, too.

"You're just like your mother." I heard him say. And it seemed like he wanted to say more, but then…

A portal, like the one that pirate guy had used but much, much smaller appeared above him, a dainty hand shooting out of it and plunging into his chest. He choked on a scream, back arching up, and the hand pulled back, his glowing heart clutched in its fingers.

"Now, since you were apparently having a hard time doing it as an _emotional human_ , maybe you can kill that little brat as a heartless!" A voice—I recognized it from the soul-switch as the Queen's—cackled, then the hand retreated back into the portal, which disappeared.

"Dad, no! No!" I yelled as he shuddered once.

Chains shot out of the hole in his chest, wrapping around him as the area around the hole turned black, spreading to the rest of his body. His eyes glowed the same sinister yellow all heartless' eyes did, and I (along with everyone else who had wandered too close) had to scramble back as his arms ballooned out, so huge and grossly muscled that they were bigger than the rest of his body, which was a little shorter than it had been previously.

He stood on his closed fists instead of his feet, looking at me with the same eerie detachment that all heartless had, and I imagined his mouth would have been twisted into a malicious grin if he'd had one. Instead, there was just a dark, black...void where his face should have been. Shit, it was like looking into his eyes before he was a heartless...

It seemed like we were just going to stare at each other for a while, me in shock and him…well, who knows? But then he lifted one hand high and batted me away with more force than I had realized he could hit me with (gargantuan muscles or not).

"Seifer!" Hayner exclaimed as Cid and Sora both lifted their weapons.

Although I had hit a tree and was seeing more than a few stars, I forced myself to stand.

"Don't! This is still my fight!" I gritted out through the pain, glaring at them until they lowered their weapons again. I'm not even sure that Dad…that Dad's heartless would have fought against them; his attention seemed to be on me, alone.

He turned, coming towards me with surprising speed considering he was walking on his hands, and lifted a fist again.

This time, of course, I wasn't going to just stand there in shock and take the blow. I leapt up as he swung down, landing on his fist with my hands and using my momentum to swing my body around and kick him in the face. He grabbed my feet as they connected with his other hand, swinging me around and tossing me into another tree. This time when he ambled after me and swung, I threw myself under him, not too keen on being thrown into anymore trees.

"Hyperion!" I hollered as he came after me again, but the damn sword wouldn't let me summon it. I threw myself to one side as Dad's heartless took another swing at me, rolling a few times before clambering back to my feet. "Hyperion, Goddammit!"

"Here!" Cid said, tossing Venus Gospel at me.

I had to jump to catch it, dodging the heartless again, and thrust the giant spear into the ground so that I could vault over him, taking the spear with me and slashing the heartless across the back as I landed. Venus Gospel felt ungainly in my hands, forcing me to hold it in two hands in order to use it with any sort of effectiveness rather than one as I did with Hyperion, but any weapon is a good weapon when you have no other choice.

I tried to think of how Cid used it—a spear is _much_ different from a sword, and any mistakes made at that point could…no, _would_ get me killed—but imitation had never been my style. So instead, I moved my grip to just near the bottom of the staff and treated it like a long sword rather than a spear.

"The fuck're you doing with my girl?" Cid screeched. "She's a spear! A _spear_!"

I ignored him and smacked Dad's hand away—well, more like I redirected the blow, really. There was way too much power behind it to do something so flip as to 'smack it away.'

"Why do you always do this?" I demanded, even though I knew heartless were deaf from when I had almost become one. Besides which, they can't talk at all, so even if he _could_ hear what I was saying it wouldn't make any difference. "Just when I'm doing something good…when I'm doing something that makes me _happy_ , you've gotta come along and ruin it! You ruined my life in Twilight Town," I jabbed him in one of his arms, causing him to stumble a bit and fall, "and you destroyed my painting," I stabbed the Struggle bat hilt, which was still embedded in his chest, unable to keep from sneering a bit when the heartless let out a shrill scream, "and now, when I'm finally doing something that actually _means something_ , you're trying to hold me back again!"

I stepped back, watching the heartless with a strange sort of detachment as it struggled to get back up. "Why can't you just let me be happy, old man?" I asked, my voice softer. "I'm not taking the blame for my mother's death anymore, alright? For fuck's sake, Dad, if I can't even kill _you_ , now, after all of the bullshit you've put me through…how in the hell do you think it would have been at all possible…even if it _was_ possible…for me to endeavor to kill my own mother when the only thing she'd ever even done to me was bring me into the world?"

The heartless finally stood again, staring at me once again with those blank yellow eyes.

"Fuck this, Dad." I said, lowering Venus Gospel. "Really? Just fuck it. I mean…haven't you ever even once in your life been…I dunno, _happy_ about me? Like…were you excited to be having a kid? Or did you hate me even before I was born and Mom died? Have I never done _anything_ to make you _proud_ of me?"

It just continued to stare. And even though I _knew_ it couldn't answer—couldn't even _hear_ me—I couldn't help the sinking feeling in my stomach when it just…didn't react at all.

With a quiet little sob (shit, I was crying way too much, lately), I went down on my knees, Venus Gospel falling out of my hands.

"I'm so sick of this, Dad." I said. "If you wanna kill me, just…just _do_ it, okay? I'm sick of fighting."

The heartless stared at me for another long moment, and in a bright flash of light that made me cover my eyes with my arm, my father fell on his knees to the ground in front of me, no longer a heartless.

"Fight me, dammit." He wheezed, blood pouring from countless wounds (from our first fight and, evidently, the one we had just shared with him as a heartless). "Why won't you...fucking fight me?" And then he just…died. Shuddered once and fell backwards and…died. I know this all kinda seems anticlimactic. We were supposed to kiss and make up next, right? And he would say something sappy like 'I'm proud of you' or 'I love you, too' or some other shit, and maybe he'd join us and help us beat the Queen. Maybe not, knowing that stubborn bastard.

Life isn't like that, though. Sometimes, life throws shit like that at us, nails us in the balls, and laughs.

And by 'shit like that,' I mean the fact that that disturbingly dainty hand appeared again, holding my father's heart. I heard a cackle sound from somewhere within the portal, and then the hand squeezed the heart until it fucking burst, spewing blood and muscle all over, even on my face.

' _That fucking bitch of a Queen._ ' That was all I could think, just then. I couldn't see anything but red as I charged toward the lake, grabbing Hyperion as a passed it and the plunging into the icy waters. I disregarded the fact that I didn't know exactly how to get to the castle she was using, and the fact that it would be impossible to reach it if I had to swim and hold Hyperion at the same time. I was too fucking mad to think of anything besides killing that _fucking whore_.

"Seifer!" Hayner grabbed me, pulling me back towards land.

"Fucking bitch! I'll fucking kill her!" I snarled, pulling against him so forcefully that I felt two other pairs of arms wrap around me to help force me back.

"Seifer, you stupid fuck, quit it! You can't go after her like this!" Hayner said.

"I'll rip her fucking heart out and see how she likes it!" I said, hardly able to hear him over the adrenaline rushing through my ears. It hardly registered in my mind that they were friends, not enemies, as I bucked and fought to get away from them.

"Everyone grab him!"

"Fucking let me go!" I managed to shake one of them, but then several people tackled me and the two who were left. Even with my furious, rage-induced strength, I was only able to stay standing for a moment before I crumbled beneath their combined weight.

"Dammit!" I cursed, beating my hands against the ground senselessly. "Dammit, dammit, dammit!"

Held down as I was, my anger was slowly fading into an overwhelming sense of loss as my tears returned, this time gushing faster and harder out of my eyes.

"Fuck it all!" I yelled. "Get the fuck off of me, you fucking assholes!"

They did, although I'm not sure why. They probably shouldn't have, to be honest. But to my credit, I didn't go charging back toward the lake like I wanted to—instead, I dragged myself over to where my dad's body lay. I pulled myself up onto my knees.

"You stupid old man! Fucking useless drunk!" I sobbed and brought my hands down hard onto his chest and stomach, not really caring where I hit him as long as I didn't hit the Struggle bat that was still in him. "You can't die now! You're too fucking hard-headed to die! Dammit! God-fucking-dammit!"

Nobody else spoke, now that I wasn't throwing myself into the lake anymore. They just let me rant and rave at my father's quickly stiffening corpse.

When life decides to nail you in the balls, it really nails you.

(PAGEBREAK,Y'KNOW?)

I didn't stop crying and just generally making an ass out of myself (for understandable reasons, to be sure, but making an ass out of myself nonetheless) until I passed out. When I woke up, I was lying a few feet away from the dying fire.

I blinked my eyes open slowly, wincing a bit as the rising sun burned my eyes. I tried to sit up a little only to be pushed back down into the oddly shaped but strangely comfortable pillow my head was resting on. I looked up, straight into Hayner's somber cinnamon-colored eyes.

"Hey." He said, smiling thinly at me.

"Hey." I said, trying to sit up again—'trying' because Hayner immediately pushed me back into his lap.

"Stay for just a little bit longer." He said, gently caressing my cheek.

I sighed and closed my eyes.

"I'm sorry, Seifer." Hayner whispered after we had been sitting quietly for a while.

I tried not to, but I felt tears welling up in my eyes again, and my chin wobbled no matter how hard I tried to clench my teeth. I finally couldn't help but sniffle loudly, bringing a hand up to cover my eyes in a move unconsciously similar to that my dad had made before the Queen took his heart.

"He's…he's dead." I said. "Stupid old geezer."

"Yeah." Something hot and wet hit my cheek, and my eyes snapped open.

"Wh…why are _you_ crying, you stupid chickenwuss?" I asked.

"I'm crying because _you're_ crying, dumbass." He hiccuped, wiping his eyes furiously.

I sat up, but just leaned against him, grabbing his hand and squeezing it. It's kind of amazing that no one else noticed or commented on it—they were a few feet away, eating breakfast. But maybe they had just all agreed to leave us alone for a while.

Now, I know what you're thinking—what's up with all of this goddamn crying all of a sudden? I mean, I've pretty much established that I'm a tough fuck, one who doesn't cry and all that shit. And now, suddenly, I'm crying my eyes out every five fucking seconds like some kind of fucking girl.

All I've really got to say to that is:

Fuck. You.

Besides, try saying that sort of thing to Yuffie or Aerith. Or, gods forbid, Tifa. Because I can fucking assure you that any one of them could kick your ass for saying that sort of bullshit.

And, anyhow, even tough guys are allowed a moment or two of weakness. This…these…were mine. From then on, I would never do such an unmanly thing again. Ever. Rest assured.

"Hayner, don't…" I bit my lip. "Don't kill your mom. I know this whole time I've been saying that you've gotta go against her and help us kill her or whatever, but…don't. Let us take care of her. Okay?"

He nodded, slipping his arms around me comfortingly. "None of us are in this alone, right? So…so I'll stand up to her, and I'll beat her, and you guys can finish her off for me." He smiled. "I'm not in this alone… _we're_ not in this alone, Seifer."

"Yeah…I guess we aren't, are we?" I grinned back, unable to stop myself as my eyes wandered over to where the others were gathered.

"Nope." We were both quiet for a moment.

"Where…did Dad's body go?" I asked.

Hayner shook his head. "Goofy and Cid buried him over there."

He motioned towards the forest. At the edge of it, I could see a pile of rocks that were probably serving as both a grave marker and a deterrent for scavengers (the Queen included).

I squeezed his hand again, a little harder this time.

"Seifer."

I looked back at him to see him holding something in his free hand.

"We…found this in one of his pockets." He said softly.

Usually I would have scolded him for disrespecting the dead. Instead, though, I took the familiar piece of cloth from him and pressed it against my forehead, almost like I was praying or something.

It was my beanie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _A/N: OH! I think I need to explain something before a lot of people get confused:_
> 
>  _Back in chapter whatever-it-was, when Seifer put his beanie on his 'mom's' grave, it said her name was Edea. THIS PERSON WAS NOT HIS REAL MOTHER! Edea is the mother Ansem put into his memories. He was supposed to get a different father from his original one, as well, but the Queen interfered and messed that part of the plan up. For those of you who have played FFVIII, Edea is the name of the woman in charge of the orphanage Seifer grew up in (known as 'Matron,' thus his comment at the end of the earlier chapter), and also the main bad guy of the game (sort of). Seifer's real mom's name—according to me; this isn't official—is Sonya, as his dad said. Oddly enough, I haven't named his dad. XD_
> 
>  _ALSO: Since a surprising number of people have asked, Wilbur and Louis are from Disney's 'Meet the Robinsons.' I'm surprised at you guys! This is even one of the NEWER Disney movies! 2007! C'mon, guys!_
> 
>  _AND Gurgi is from Disney's 'The Black Cauldron,' just like Taran. This one was a bit more obscure, though, since BC's kinda not as well-known as some of Disney's other stuff. It was the first PG-rated Disney cartoon, though, and it's my favorite! X3_


	23. Fides Publica

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fides Publica (a promise of protection, safe-conduct)

" _Now the son's disgraced—he, who knew his father—when he cursed his name, turned, and chased the dollar but it broke his heart, so he stuck his middle finger to the world, to the world, to the world. And you take your time. And you stand in line. Well you'll get what's yours; I got mine…because when I arrive, I bring the fire. Make you come alive—I can take you higher. What is this, forgot? I must now remind you…" –Kevin Rudolph, 'Let it Rock'_

I stood up and put on my beanie, gritting my teeth together just a bit as I took one last look at my father's impromptu grave. I nodded at it, like I was acknowledging an old opponent.

Which I was, in a way. I guess. Except usually 'old opponents' weren't actually your dad.

But what the hell? I'd never been normal, so why the fuck should I start then?

"Everybody ready to go?" I asked, fitting Hyperion in a sheath across my back.

"Yeah! Let's do this!" Sora said, as unshakably sure of himself (sure of _all of us_ ) as ever.

"Anybody got any last words before we go?" Cid asked, ever his optimistic self.

We all exchanged one long, quiet look. Everyone else's' eyes suddenly zoned in on Hayner, and they looked at each other, a few (Cid and Sora) with tiny smirks, before walking off and leaving the two of us alone again.

Confused, I crossed my arms over my chest. "The fuck's up with them?"

Hayner took a deep breath. "I kissed Sora." He said.

I blinked as the world around me seemed to come to a sudden halt.

"W…what?" I sputtered. Remember how after I had (was forced to have) sex with Sora, I said that 'Sora' and 'sex' didn't belong together? Well, neither did 'Sora' and 'kiss.' Disregarding the creepy-sex factor, Sora had become something of a little brother to me. So…just…ew.

He wrapped his arms around himself, obviously uncomfortable and carefully avoiding my eyes. "I figured I couldn't make a decision on…that…if I'd only ever kissed one guy." He explained, like he really needed to. I mean…it's his life, right? None of my fucking business, right? So I should've just ignored the weird, cinching feeling in my stomach…right?

"Yeah, and?" I asked, feigning a coolness I wasn't feeling in the least.

"And…" Another deep breath. "I don't…think I like boys."

Something in me…broke…

"Alright." I spat out, hiding that suffocating feeling behind irritation. I started to turn away, but his hand on my arm stopped me.

"But I know I don't like girls." He said.

I stared at him.

"And I…I know I…liked kissing you." He blurted. "Or…being kissed by you, or whatever."

It felt like my heart was crawling up my throat.

"So if we…I mean, _when_ we get out of this…when it's all over…can we…try?" He asked.

"Try what?" I asked, my voice breathy and full of far more hope than I wanted it to be.

"Well…" Even his ears were red. "I don't love you yet…but I'm pretty sure I could. So I want to try and…and see what happens."

I tried to suppress the grin that overtook my mouth. Really, I did. But the damn thing wouldn't be suppressed. So instead, I put a hand on Hayner's head and ruffled his hair so that he closed his eyes and didn't see it.

"Okay." I said, not quite trusting myself to express what I was really feeling just then.

He grabbed my hand, looking up at me almost shyly, his grin matching mine.

"If we get out of this." I said, but smirked so he wouldn't think much about it.

His eyes narrowed ever-so-slightly, but he smiled back.

"Let's get this show on the fucking road!" Cid yelled gruffly from his seat at the stern of the little boat Taran, Donald, and Goofy had brought. "I'm ready to kick some ass!"

"Alright, battle formations." I said as we all got into the boat. "Sora's at the front with me and René—he'll take out Roxas first, then René can take out Axel. "

"The one with spiky red hair." René said, for confirmation.

I nodded as Sora blanched ever-so-slightly.

"Donald and Goofy," I turned to the two anthro…things (Goofy saluted), "your job is to make sure that Hayner doesn't get _anywhere near_ the Queen. No matter _what_. I don't care if you have to tie the little son of a bitch down, he doesn't go anywhere near her."

"Hey!" Hayner protested.

"In accordance with that, you guys are going to stay near the back and make sure none of the Heartless try to flank us. Or anyone else, for that matter."

"You got it, a-hyuck!" Goofy said.

"We'll take care of the back." Donald nodded.

"Taran and Cid, I want you guys behind René, Sora, and me." I said. "After they've disrupted the shield spell and, hopefully, knocked the Organization out of it, I want you to get them and the Organization out of there. We don't know how any of this is going to affect them, so it's better if they're as far away from the action as possible. Once they're out of the way, you can come back and help fight—but you have to be _absolutely sure_ that they'll be safe. We can't take any chances that the Queen will abduct them again in case she somehow escapes."

Cid and Taran nodded wordlessly.

"Are you…going to try to take on the Queen by yourself?" Hayner asked, going slightly pale.

"…Something like that." I said.

"What do you mean, something like that? You either are, or you aren't!" Hayner said. "I'm getting really sick and tired of you being so secretive, you damn idiot!"

"I don't have to tell you everything! I know what I'm doing, alright?" I snapped. "I thought you trusted me?"

"But you don't trust me!" He snapped back, jaw clenching tightly.

I stared at him.

"You don't, do you?" He pursed his lips together. "You're always going on about it, but…you don't trust anyone, Seifer."

"I told you I'd take care of it." I said instead of answering.

"I don't want you to take care of it." He said. "I want _us_ to take care of it." He waved a hand at the others. " _All_ of us."

"I'm the only one who can do this, Hayner." I said.

"Why? And for fucks sake, _what_?" He demanded.

"Because…" I pressed my lips together for a moment, squeezed my eyes shut, and started to answer…to tell him the reason for everything…

But then a strangled, gurgling scream interrupted me. We all turned in the boat to stare at the scene unfolding in front of us:

Riku, the one who had screamed, was fumbling in the water, blood seeping out of the corners of his mouth and several cuts on his face. Diving at him from above were two huge, horrendous creatures, like dragons but somehow more imposing. Their eyes glowed an angry red as water and blood made their scales shimmer gruesomely in the dim light of morning.

"Riku!" Sora yelled, throwing his Keyblade at one of the monsters.

"It's the gwythaints!" Taran said. "They're attacking him!"

The monster screeched shrilly as the Keyblade connected with one of its wings, causing it to fall ungracefully to the water. It struggled for a moment, wings flapping wildly before they finally caught enough air to take off again.

The other monster dove at Riku, picking him up in its claws at tearing at him viciously with its fangs.

"Let him go!" Cid roared, launching his spear at it.

It twisted to get out of the way of the projectile, dropping Riku in the process, and Hayner jumped into the water after him.

"Hayner!" I yelled, then cast a fire spell at one of the gwythaints as it dove toward him. "You stupid fucking…FIRAGA!"

"Just stay on the boat and cover him until he gets Riku back!" Taran said, casting a thunder spell.

"Like hell I will!" I threw off my jacket, jumping onto the (all too small) prow of the boat and then at the gwythaint that was going after Hayner again. I landed roughly, eyes widening at the sharp pain in my groin (goddamn spikes fucking _hurt_ , even if they'd only just grazed me). Forcing myself to recover as the monster twisted its neck to try and attack me, I brought Hyperion down and stabbed the area where its neck met the back of its skull. Well, I stabbed _AT_ the area. Fucking thing's scales deflected most of the attack, though I managed to get in a deep gash along the side of its neck.

It shrieked and somehow grabbed my leg in its maw, tearing me off its back with a vicious jerk of its head. I hit the water with a giant splash, unable to stop myself from gasping at the cold, stinging sensation of it. Choking and fighting to get to the surface (not to mention keeping my hold on Hyperion), I could feel more and more water entering my mouth, my nose, my _lungs_ , and I started seeing spots in front of my eyes.

And then someone had grabbed the back of my jacket and was yanking me back onto the boat, slapping my back roughly as I hacked up all of the water I swallowed.

"No matter how much water you drink, you ain't gonna lower the lake none." Cid's gruff voice stated dryly. "Dumbass."

"Did I at least kill the fucker?" I gasped out when I had finally managed to expel most of the water from my lungs.

"Injured it bad enough—Donald finished it off." Hayner's voice was rather close to my ears, and I blinked as my vision cleared.

We were back on the boat—Hayner had evidently just finished using my jacket to dry off (dammit, I'd taken it off so it _wouldn't_ get wet!) and started using it to dry me off. Sora and Donald were casting cures on Riku, who was getting some color back in his cheeks (not that that was too hard, as pale as he always was). His lips were still a little blue from the cold of the water, though. René was doing the same for Cid, who was giving me that annoyed glare of his that really just meant I'd managed to worry him out of his mind. Which, of course, made me feel bad. A little.

"What about the other one?" I asked.

"Took off after we killed its partner." Cid said, lighting a cigarette angrily. "Hit the fucker with the Venus Gospel and it fucking took off with 'er stuck in its side! How in the fucking hell am I supposed to fight if I don't have my goddamned weapon? Didn't even get any fucking tea this morning, and I've only got three fucking cigarettes left—ain't that the fucking limit! No weapon, no tea, almost no smokes! Bullshit's what it is! Bull. Shit."

I couldn't help but laugh at him, though I tried to stifle it when he glared at me. But then I jolted forward a bit, realizing that I wasn't sure where _my_ weapon was, either.

"Where'd Hyperion go?" I asked.

"It'd serve you right if you'd lost it, you stupid son of a bitch!" Cid said, even as he pointed at where Hyperion was laying a little ways away from me. "Fucking _jumping_ the damn thing! Stupidest shit I've ever seen, and I have seen some _really stupid shit_. You give _Reno_ a run for his money, and that little mother fucker was batshit insane!"

"Okay, okay, I get it. Damn." I said, putting my hands up in an 'I surrender' gesture.

Cid snorted and muttered darkly under his breath as he rotated his previously injured arm.

"Is everybody alright?" I asked, gaze sweeping over the other occupants of the boat.

"Riku's got the worst of it, of course, but a few cures and we'll all be ready to fight again." Sora said, sitting next to his best friend and looking a bit paler than usual.

"What about _you_ , you stupid shit?" Hayner asked sternly.

"What _about_ me, lamer?" I retorted. "Do I _look_ hurt?"

"Yeah, actually, you do. You're fucking bleeding." He pointed down at the leg the gwythaint had grabbed.

I looked at it, feeling suddenly dizzy as the sight of the torn flesh extinguished all of the adrenaline still left over from the fight.

"Oh, shit." I said.

Hayner huffed a little before putting his hands over my leg and muttering a healing spell.

"Not like you don't deserve it." Cid said, still fixing me with that glare.

I glared back at him for a moment before rolling my eyes. "Whatever, I'm fine now. But if that beast gets back to warn the Queen about us—"

"She already knows we're here, remember?" Hayner asked. "Your dad said so last night."

My jaw clenched at the memory.

"It doesn't matter either way." René said. "She's only got one chance to do this spell, right? Or, at least, it'll be quite a while before she can try again. So all she can do is throw a bunch of Heartless at us and hope they'll slow us down long enough for her to complete it."

"And she has to have Hayner to do it, too." Sora pointed out.

"So her hands are mostly tied." Hayner concluded, doing a very good job of not looking (or pretending not to look) at his own disappeared hand.

"Right." I said, pinching the bridge of my nose with my thumb and middle finger. "Okay, well, we all know what we're supposed to do, so…I guess now all that's left to do is to…do it."

"We…gotta hurry." Riku choked out, struggling to stand up. "She's not…not just using their souls to boost her power. She's _hurting_ them. There was this little boy with her that looked like he was near death—"

"A little boy?" I grabbed his collar and jerked him close to my face. "Looks maybe ten? Black hair?"

"Y-yeah." He said, giving me a startled look (everyone was, and I suppose with good reason). "He's not one of the Organization, though, so I don't know why he's there."

"Of course he's not one of those damn Organization assholes." I snarled, not entirely sure why I was getting so overprotective, Hayner's soul or not. "You said he looked close to death—was he bleeding? Hurt? Fucking answer me, dammit!"

"Let him go, then!" Hayner said, putting a hand on my arm.

I did—probably rougher than I had to, though. "Well?"

"He wasn't hurt as far as I could see." Riku said as he straightened his still-wet clothes. "But he was sitting next to the Queen—on the floor next to her throne thing—and he looked like he could barely keep his eyes open. Pale, too…paler than I've ever seen any kid." He paused for a moment, thinking. "Actually, I think there might have been some bruises on his face. He had on something with long sleeves, so I couldn't see the rest of him…"

"Why's it important?" Sora asked curiously.

"He's the Little Prince." I said, feeling the anger I already felt towards the Queen triple. "He's Hayner's Nobody."

"There's no way." Riku said, eyes widening as everyone else gaped at me in surprise. "He hardly looks half Hayner's age, he can't be—"

"The Nobodies don't age like we do." I said. "Once they're separated from their body…they age only according to what experiences they have. Little Prince told me that he had only aged two years since he was separated from Hayner, and that that was just because of the Queen." I pursed my lips together. "She's at least as bad to him as my father was to me."

"But…you said he was only ten." Sora said. "You mean she…she made Hayner a Heartless when he was…?"

"Eight." I finished for him. "Her own son, and she stole his heart when he was only eight years old."

We all looked at Hayner, whose hands were covering his mouth as he stared at the floor of the boat with tear-filled eyes.

"I…I remember." He said, one hand dropping down to clutch his chest. "She said…she told me my heart couldn't get any older, yet, because older hearts aren't as attached to their parents as young ones are. She…she said it would take a few years for everything to be ready, and…and she couldn't take any chances that I would stop being willing to die for her."

Sora threw his arms around Hayner, and I put a hand on Hayner's arm as he started crying.

"I hate her." He said. "I hate her so much! How could she…I'm her son, and she still…"

"Hayner, if you hate her, and you aren't willing to go through with this spell anymore, then…" I began.

"Don't be stupid!" He said. "Of course I'm still…" He shook his head. "It doesn't matter how much my head says I hate her…my heart says differently. I can't…my heart can't hate her…I want to, but I can't."

"It's okay, Hayner." Sora said determinedly. "No matter what happens, we're gonna take care of it. _All_ of us—I promise."

"Yeah. We won't let the Queen use you anymore." René said.

Hayner looked at me out of the corner of his eye, and I sighed.

"Haven't I said it enough already?" I asked, though I was more amused than anything else. I sat up, grabbing Hyperion and positioning myself on one knee, with Hyperion in front of me. I bowed my head. "You've been my leader this whole time, Hayner—my prince, if you want to put a fine point on it. And I swear on Hyperion that I'll do whatever it takes— _whatever it takes_ , no matter what that entails—to keep you safe and alive and as far out of the Queen's clutches as possible."

"I'd swear on the Venus Gospel, if that fucker hadn't flown off with 'er." Cid said, going onto one knee as well. He was closely followed by everyone else, all murmuring their own pledges (except for Goofy and Donald, who, of course, had already given their pledges to King Mickey).

Flushing, Hayner awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck.

"Ah…umm…thanks, you guys." He stammered. "You can…stop that…any time now…"

Sora giggled. "Guess that makes us your knights!" His grin turned mischievous. "Isn't that right, Your Highness?"

"Shut up, Sora." Hayner said, his cheeks still stained a bright crimson.

"Ah, man, we have to call him 'Your Majesty' and stuff, now?" René asked teasingly.

"I'll call him 'Your Royal Lameness,' but that's as respectful as I can manage." I said.

"Fuck you guys." Hayner said, bottom lip jutting out. "Assholes."

"Now, now, Your Majesty, that ain't no way to talk." Cid said.

"Not you, too, Cid!" Hayner said. "Come on, you guys, quit it!"

Though I think that even Hayner knew we were only joking like this to keep our minds off of the castle that was looming closer and closer to the ship, and the battle looming farther and farther over our heads, we didn't let up until we had landed on the island.

This was it.


	24. Fortuito

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fortuito (by chance)

" _In the night I hear 'em talk, the coldest story ever told: somewhere far along this road he lost his soul to a woman so heartless…how could you be so heartless? How could you be so heartless?" –Kanye West, 'Heartless'_

There is no such thing as coincidence.

Hayner had been saying that from the beginning, and I was becoming more and more convinced of the idea as our adventure neared its end.

Why us? It had been the two of us from the very start. Before we had met, even. Hayner's reasons for being around were more straightforward—he was the Queen's son, integral to the entire plot. But me…

Why was _I_ the only other person who remembered Roxas? Why not Pence or Olette, or, shit, even that Setzer freak?

That one was easily enough answered: I was the only other person in Twilight Town who didn't belong (besides Rai and Fuu, of course, but they don't quite count…).

But why was I in Twilight Town? Well…that was because Ansem found me, convinced me to help him with that weird pet project, erased my memories, replaced my real body with a fake one, and put me there…but why me? Why was I the one he found that day? The only person besides Squall to escape the destruction of Balamb Gardens? And why was it me, instead of Squall, who Ansem found?

Those questions were kind of easy to figure out, too. Kind of. I _had_ to be the one to escape, because it was my…guilty conscience, I guess, that made me agree to Ansem's plan. If Ansem had found Squall…well, I didn't know or remember much about Squall, but I knew enough that I was sure he wouldn't have been able to keep his distance like I had. Squall was a jerk, but he tended to attract people to himself like flies—as evidenced by Aerith, Cid, and the others in Radiant Garden. And in order for Ansem's plan to work, the person in question couldn't get close to _any_ of the locals, beyond normal contact.

And, thinking back, I hadn't gotten close to any of them. Hayner and Roxas were the only two I'd ever really had much contact with outside of my group. But then again, there was Vivi…

But whatever. That wasn't important.

What _was_ important was that all of that…everything that had happened to me so far had been in preparation for this battle. Someone had to come along for the ride, to make sure Hayner stayed safe and to keep him from letting the Queen go through with her plot. And I, of course, was the only person who _could_ come with him. The only person who could remember Roxas…who was strong enough to keep Hayner safe…the only person who had _two bodies_ …

The only person who'd been half in love with him since as far back as my 'real' memories (the ones I had made in the year since Ansem put me in Twilight Town) stretched. And…well, you know what they say: 'love overcomes all.'

Yeah…love was as integral to stopping the Queen as Hayner was to her succeeding, I was absolutely certain of it.

There's no such thing as coincidence.

(PAGEBREAK,Y'KNOW?)

The other gwythaint was lying dead on the beach where we landed, Venus Gospel protruding from one side.

"Knew my girl'd kill the little bastard!" Cid smirked triumphantly as he tore his weapon out of the thing's carcass.

I grabbed Hyperion as I noticed shadows beginning to pop up from the ground ahead of us. "You had better hope she's still in a killing mood, Cid—we've got company!"

With mixed battle cries, we threw ourselves into the fray. The distance between the 'beach' and the castle seemed endless, especially since we had to fight tooth and nail for every step we took.

Luckily for us, the Heartless weren't very strong—mostly just Shadow Heartless, with a few Neo-Shadows and other higher-level heartless mixed in. Nothing like the Behemoths and the like we had faced in the forest.

We instinctively bunched up around Hayner and Sora, who were at the moment the weakest out of all of us. And becoming weaker, the longer they were separated from their souls.

And, eventually, we reached the castle. It was both more and less difficult to fight in the castle—less because fewer heartless could come at us at once due to the lack of space, and more because we also didn't have as much space to attack in.

But finally—fina-fucking-lly!—we made it to the colossal courtyard in the center of the castle grounds.

And, sure enough, the preparations for the ritual were already nearing completion. Roxas was standing just a few feet away from us, surrounded by a golden glow. About a hundred feet away from him, the other members of Organization XIII were spread out in a huge circle, all of them looking to be in great pain as their various elements danced around them and made a glowing line for the huge cauldron in the center of them. Next to the cauldron sat the Little Prince, looking completely worn out and hardly able to keep on his feet. And behind him…

"S-Selphie?" Sora shrieked.

"Selphie Tilmitt?" I gaped—the name had popped into my head like Squall's had, and I suspected it was for much the same reason.

"Oh, my, you're already here." The girl…woman…Queen said, crossing her—well, Selphie's—arms over her chest and giving us a detachedly irritated look. The actions looked so incredibly out of place with the wistful, flipped-up hairdo and bright yellow sundress… "I thought those heartless would be able to delay you for another few minutes, at least."

"You…the body you took…was _Selphie's_?" Sora exclaimed, outraged.

The Queen gave us a saccharine smile that, although it should have looked perfectly normal on Selphie's face, still sent a shiver up our spines. "If it's someone you know, you're less likely to attack it, don't you think?" She asked sweetly. "You wouldn't want to kill your dear childhood friend, would you, Sora? Riku? And you, Seifer…can you kill one of the only other survivors from your planet?"

Sora, Riku and I looked at each other, all equally confused by this new turn of events.

"Don't worry, you little fools." She sniffed daintily, her haughty sneer finally overcoming the false smile. "Soon it won't matter." Her expression softened. "Hayner, darling, come to Mother."

"M-Mother." Hayner said, taking a hesitant step forward.

I grabbed him and pushed him behind myself. "You stay where you are, chickenwuss." I glared at Donald and Goofy, who were watching the scene with dumbfounded expressions on their faces. "You two are supposed to keep him away from that bitch, remember? Do your fucking jobs." Then I turned back to her. "As for _you_ —Hayner's not going anywhere near you, got that? And I don't care whose body you've stolen, I'll fucking destroy my own mother if it means keeping Hayner safe from you and stopping you from getting a new body."

And the bitch fucking _ignored me_.

"Hayner, I said come to Mother, love." She said, her voice and expression hardening slightly.

"Stay back!" Little Prince spoke up suddenly. "Please, my heart, stay away! Seifer, you have to keep him away from her!"

"I am!" I snarled, shoving Hayner back when he tried to go to the Queen again. "I told you to stay the fuck put, lamer."

"Seifer, I can't." Hayner said. "I…I have to…I have to…"

"You have to _stay put_." I said.

"Hmm, you _have_ chosen a very demanding little friend, haven't you, Hayner?" The Queen asked with a slight giggle. "But you are a prince, and a prince does not listen to such common filth. Come to your mother _now_ , Hayner."

"N…no." Hayner forced out, letting himself be pushed behind Donald and Goofy. "Mother, no. Seifer isn't…he isn't common filth and…and I won't die for you!"

Instead of looking outraged or even at all surprised at his statement, the Queen _laughed_.

"Oh, Hayner. Foolish, foolish child." She said, still laughing. "Do you really think it's as easy as all that?" She shook her head, patting Little Prince on the head like some sort of fucking pet. "If _all_ of you isn't unwilling, then it might as well be that all of you _is_ willing."

"I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry." Little Prince whimpered.

"Why did you think I didn't return your soul when I gave back your heart, hmm?" The Queen asked with malicious glee shining in her eyes. "Foolish child."

Hayner choked on a sob behind me.

"Well, fuck that." I murmured, then spoke louder. "Just because she isn't surprised doesn't mean anything else has changed—let's go for it!"

The Queen tittered, and too late I realized that while we had been talking, another wave of Heartless had appeared.

 _There is no such thing as coincidence_.

(PAGEBREAK,Y'KNOW?)

Although the battle seemed to have been dragging on for hours, the truth is that it probably hadn't lasted all that long at all. It was sheer numbers, more than anything else, that was bogging us down—the heartless were almost pathetically under-strength. Somehow, we managed to break through long enough for Sora to tackle and absorb Roxas.

But then the Heartless closed in around us again, and René couldn't get to Axel. And the Queen somehow managed to snatch Hayner right out from under Donald and Goofy's noses, sucking him into the middle of the circle of Nobodies and integrating him and Little Prince.

"Are you ready to die, my son?" The Queen asked, her voice cruelly indifferent as she raised a dagger high above her head.

"Yes, Mother." Hayner said, his voice soft and sad and completely unlike the Hayner I knew and lo—well, you know.

"Hayner!" I yelled.

Suddenly overcome by an influx of strength and adrenaline, I grabbed René by the collar of his vest and threw him bodily at Axel, following close behind and easily cutting through all of the heartless in my path. Although startled, René held his arms out and grabbed Axel just as he smashed into the taller man, barreling him over with a bright flash of crimson light that signified Axel's absorption.

I leapt over the writhing boy—absorbing a Nobody that didn't actually belong to you (even if you didn't have one to begin with) was evidently _very_ painful—and tackled the Queen, gasping as the dagger stabbed me instead of just flying out of her hands. Dizzy with the pain coming from my left shoulder—even if she hadn't hit my heart she had still hit something vital, I was sure—I stood up, glaring down at the Queen.

"No more." I said. "It's over, lady."

"No it isn't!" She hissed. "The spell is nearly complete! All I have to do is kill that wretched son of mine and throw his body into the cauldron, and then none of you will stand a chance against my power!"

I smirked, seeing her falter just a bit in surprise at my reaction.

"Yeah, but you see…that's the funny thing." I said. "You haven't killed Hayner. You've killed _me_ …or at least, I'm probably gonna die soon. And I read all about this potion of yours—if the wrong person gets sacrificed, the backlash will destroy you—your soul, your magic, _everything_. Gone forever."

Her eyes widened. "W-what?"

My smirk got bigger, and then I turned, and with the last vestiges of my strength, I jumped.

"Seifer, NO!" Someone—Hayner—screamed.

And then I hit the surface of the potion, and everything went black.


	25. Finis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finis (end)

_"'Would you do the whole thing all over again, knowing what you know now, knowing what you knew then?' And he smiled, like the old pumpkin king that I knew, then turned and asked softly of me, 'Wouldn't you?'" –Nightmare Before Christmas, 'Closing'_

My eyes fluttered open lazily, although for some reason I didn't really feel like I was waking up so much as going to sleep—a strange sensation, to be sure. The view that greeted me was misty but bright, like I was up in the clouds on an all-too-sunny day.

"Seifer."

A hand was offered to me, and my eyes drifted from it up to the face of the person to whom it belonged. I couldn't make the face out very well; between the fog and the sun (which was, conveniently enough, right behind them) it was nearly impossible to make anything out.

"You still have work to do, Seifer." The voice spoke again, slightly muffled for some reason. The hand motioned insistently at me to take it. "No time to laze about."

Hesitantly, I reached my hand up and placed it in theirs. The clouds immediately faded away, and I finally got a good look at the other person's face: a gentle, but obviously strong woman with long, flowing brown hair and kind eyes that looked very much like mine.

"I'm so proud of you, Seifer." She said, bringing my hand to her face and nuzzling it with her cheek. "You've grown up into such a wonderful man…"

"Mother?"

(PAGEBREAK,Y'KNOW?)

I jumped a little, startled awake by the ruler that had just been slapped down on my desk.

"Mr. Almasy, two demerits for falling asleep in class." Instructor Aki (how did I know that name? I'd never seen this guy before in my _life_ ) practically snarled.

I heard stifled laughter from several other students in the classroom I was in (why was I in a classroom? Where were Hayner and the others?). I sat up straight, not bothering to try and hide the confusion-induced scowl that settled over my face.

"Don't give me that look, boy." Instructor Aki said, obviously not aware that I wasn't actually directing the look at him. "I'll never understand why Headmaster Kramer is so confident in your abilities when you can't even keep your eyes open in a class!"

More stifled laughter, this time stopped short by Aki's fierce glare as it searched out the culprits. Unable to locate them, he turned and returned to the front of the classroom to continue his lecture on…whatever he was lecturing about. Or at least, he _tried_ to, because just then a loud bell rang to signal the end of class.

I stood, grabbing the bag draped over the back of my chair and moving rather mechanically toward the exit.

"Jeez, Seifer, what kept _you_ up all night?" A teen with light blue-green eyes, ridiculously spiked blond hair, and a tattoo taking up the majority of the left side of his face asked crudely, snickering at his own innuendo.

"Shut the fuck up, Zell." I snapped, struggling to hide the surprise I felt when the name sprang out of my mouth of its own accord.

The boy—Zell Dincht—gave me a confused look. "What? Not gonna call me chickenwuss today?" He asked tauntingly.

I just snorted and pushed past him. "Fuck off before I get pissed, lamer." I said. Chickenwuss was a name reserved for Hayner, only.

Well, maybe it wasn't, exactly, but I'd be damned if I called a complete stranger that.

Zell caught up with me quickly, eyes narrowed a bit. "Y'know, Seifer, you don't look so hot. You need to go to the infirmary? That cut Squall gave you might have gotten infected."

My eyebrows furrowed together. "The fuck are you talking about?"

Zell blinked. "Umm…yesterday you and Squall got into that stupid fight and cut each other's faces open?"

I stared at him.

"Dude, you _really_ need to go to the infirmary."

"Just fuck off, lamer. I'm fine." I said, deciding that I was way too confused to care, at the moment, what exactly was going on.

"Who the _fuck_ are you? And why do you look like me?"

My head snapped up, meeting eyes identical to mine that were set in a face identical to mine, except that it looked older and kind of strange, sans beanie, and with my blond hair slicked back like that.

"I'm Seifer Almasy—who the fuck are you?" I asked as a small crowd began gathering around us. Then I jerked back, finding Hyperion suddenly pointed at my face.

" _I'm_ Seifer Almasy." The man-who-was-me said. "And you aren't even a _good_ doppelganger, if that's what you are."

I summoned _my_ Hyperion, mirroring his stance by sticking it in his face. "Listen up, fuck-weed: if I was a fucking doppelganger, I sure as _hell_ wouldn't be yours, because you're a fucking retard if you think you're anywhere near skilled enough to beat me. And that intimidation bullshit you're trying to pull only works on chickenwusses and idiots, so don't try it with me."

"They're _both_ Seifer, if we're going by who's the bigger asshole." I heard Zell say.

"What's going on here?" I blinked as a man who was Squall but _wasn't_ Squall pushed his way to the front of the crowd, looking between me and the other guy with a carefully neutral expression.

"None of your business, puberty boy." The other Seifer sneered. "I've got it under control."

"If 'under control' means 'about to get my ass kicked.'" I said. "And when the fuck did you cut your hair, Squall?"

Everyone in the crowd turned to stare at me.

"Wow, Seifer, you _did_ get yourself stuck in quite a mess." The crowd turned again, this time with me included, and this time to look at the person who had spoken. I scowled, recognizing him as that black-haired guy from the semi-finals way back in the Coliseum.

"And who are _you_?" Squall asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

The guy grinned widely, looking kind of like Sora but…goofier, if that was possible. "I'm Zack Fair. I just came to pick this guy up." He motioned at me. "Can't believe you got into this much trouble after only a few minutes, Seifer."

" _He_ isn't Seifer. _I_ am." The other me said.

Zack giggled. Like a girl. "Well, technically, you're _both_ Seifer. Only he's from the future. And younger. And…well, at the moment he's kind of mostly dead."

"He's _what_?"

"I'm _what_?"

"The _hell_?"

"It's a long story." Zack said. "But…see? He's not really completely here." And with that, he stuck his hand _through my face_. "Don't worry about it—the Lifestream's trying to get him back to his original body, since he went and destroyed the one Ansem gave him, but it got a little bit confused. It doesn't do this sort of thing very often. So it sent me to fetch him and take him where he was _supposed_ to go."

"This is really confusing." Selphie, looking older and decidedly not possessed by an evil tyrant, said.

"Don't worry about it—you're going to forget all of this ever happened in about…now."

(PAGEBREAK,Y'KNOW?)

"What…in the fuck…was _that_?" I hissed as I suddenly found myself in what seemed to be a small house. It reminded me of Aerith's place back in Radiant Gardens.

Zack rolled his eyes. "I told you—the Lifestream was trying to get you back to your original body, and kind of…missed."

"It…missed." I repeated, my voice deadpan.

"Yeah. It does that sometimes." He shrugged. "Now c'mon—we gotta get you back in your body before anybody comes to check on you."

"Why?" I asked.

"Because seeing you in creepy-ghost-form might freak somebody out." He replied simply, like it should have been obvious, tiptoeing into another room. I followed, not tiptoeing but keeping my footfalls quiet anyway. "Okay, there ya go!"

I looked at the figure in the bed. It was definitely me, alright, but it looked more like the me from the place Zack had just spirited me away from. Slicked back hair, stick-in-ass expression (even asleep!), long-sleeved jacket, lack of beanie…

"I look like an asshole." I murmured, scowling.

"Seifer, you _are_ an asshole. That was established, like…years ago. And I don't even know you that well…or, at all, actually…" Zack said. "Just go. And don't worry—your memories will come back to you slowly, so it won't overwhelm you. Oh! And Persephone worked it out so that you'd be able to tell the difference between them and the ones Ansem gave you, since you'll essentially have both."

"Persephone did?" I asked.

"Yeah. She says you're finally the hero she always knew you'd be, and that you should take it easy for a while so your body can get used to…y'know, being alive again."

I gaped at him for a moment. Opened my mouth to say something. Thought better of it. Decided I didn't really give a fuck.

"So how do I…" I motioned at my body.

"I suggest doing a canon ball." Zack said sagely. Then, seeing my incredulous look, he sighed disappointedly. "But…once you touch it, it should just absorb you, so I guess it doesn't matter."

"Right." I said, reaching out.

"Oh! And Seifer?"

"Yeah?"

"Tell Cloud…and Aerith and Yuffie and Cid…and Vincent if he'll answer his stupid cell phone…wait, does he have a cell phone? Never mind…just tell them I said 'hi.'"

"Yeah, alright." I said, chuckling a little. Then I touched my (well, by body's) shoulder, and everything went black.

(PAGEBREAK,Y'KNOW?)

' _Fuck, my head hurts._ ' Was the first thought I had as I slowly came back to the land of the living. I blinked my eyes open, seeing Zack's ghostly figure give me a huge grin and thumbs up before disappearing. Blinking my eyes rapidly to rid them of the sleepiness that lingered there (how could _any_ of me be tired, now?), I swung my legs over the side of the bed and stood.

Bad idea.

' _Very bad idea._ ' I decided as I immediately fell back onto the bed, my legs weak. Frowning stubbornly, I forced myself to stand up again, ignoring my still-wobbling legs in favor of going to the door and opening it. Luckily, whatever stasis spell Ansem had used was a good one, so by the time I reached the bathroom (turns out I _was_ in Aerith's house, unless we'd gone somewhere else with the exact same floor plan) my legs weren't shaking anymore. Mostly.

After I'd finished taking a leak, I followed my nose to the kitchen (there's no mistaking the smell of pancakes, and my stomach was growling like crazy). Everyone immediately stopped talking and looked at me (I suspect they heard my stomach).

"Uh." I said intelligently. "Hi?"

"Seifer!" Sora hollered, jumping up out of his seat before anyone else could react. But instead of tackling me with that big, goofy smile of his like I'd expected, he scowled at me. Fucking _scowled_ , like he was…y'know, _angry_.

We had obviously spent far too much time together. I was a terrible influence on him, if he could actually _scowl_.

"Seifer." He said again, more subdued this time. Forcibly subdued, in that creepy way that people do when they're beyond pissed but are desperately trying to stay clam. "Do you see this face?" He pointed at his face.

Slowly, I nodded.

"This is _not_ a face that I make." He said. "Ever. Because I'm Sora, the Keyblade Master. The resident ball of everlasting sunshine who never, _ever_ gets this face and always… _always_ smiles, no matter what." He grabbed my collar, somehow managing to seem almost intimidating despite being several inches shorter than me. "And if you _ever_ make me make this face again, I am going to rip off your balls and _feed them to you_." He went up on his tiptoes. "And the whole time I do it, I'm gonna _smile_."

In spite of myself, I gulped and nodded.

He released me and fell back on his heels. "That being said…" This time, he tackled me, bursting into tears and wailing, "Don't ever scare me again like you that you stupid jerk-face cuz you're like a brother to me and then you went and threw yourself into a _cauldron of poisonous potion_ and I thought you were dead and _everyone_ thought you were dead and we could've found another way to kill the Queen _without_ you dying, you big dummy, and why didn't you warn us that your plan was so _phenomenally stupid_ so that we could _stop you_?"

As he continued babbling, losing more and more coherency the further into his rant he got, the others swarmed us.

And by 'the others,' I mean: the Radiant Gardens gang (minus Squall, of course, the antisocial bastard…and that blond guy, Cloud), Selphie (Queen-less once again, thank God), Riku, Kairi, Donald, Goofy, Wilbur, and Louis.

Yeah…'swarmed' is a _really_ good word for it.

And yes, you read right: Hayner was (as far as I could see) nowhere to be found, as was René. So as soon as everyone had mostly calmed down, I asked,

"Where the fuck are the lamer and René?"

"And wouldn't you deserve it if we didn't tell you?" Riku asked, scowling at me.

"René hasn't woken up, yet." Sora said, shushing Riku. "Roxas thinks he and Axel are having a hard time merging."

"Not really—my body just had to adjust to it."

We all turned to find René standing in the doorway, yawning. This time, nobody swarmed the newcomer—we were all too busy staring at him.

He hadn't been kidding about the body adjustment thing, you see. He had actually, somehow, gotten taller than he already was (and he, being Riku's clone or whatever, had been pretty damn tall to begin with), and skinnier, too (also quite a feat). His hair was shorter, though it looked less like changes due to the merge and more like he had just taken a kitchen knife or some shitty scissors and sawed away a few inches. It was messy in that 'I just got out of bed and couldn't be bothered brushing' way, and fell into his face so that you could hardly see how his eyes had thinned out into the catlike shape that Axel's had, and lightened into more of Axel's lime green eye color and less of Riku's blue-green. They were still a little blue, though.

He stretched, his back cracking so loudly that even Squall flinched a bit, then ran a hand through his hair as he looked all of us over. He arched a thin eyebrow at me, nodding, then his eyes fell to Sora, who was still kind of mostly attached to me.

We could all see the change in his face—his eyes lightened to even more of that acidic green color, and Axel's tattoos appeared on his face.

"Roxas!"

"Axel!" Sora—well, Roxas, if the lighter hair and eyes were anything to go by—exclaimed as the lanky man scooped him up and away from me. He sounded a little annoyed, but he was obviously mostly just ecstatic seeing as how his grin was wide enough to split his face in two.

I crossed my arms over my chest, smirking smugly. Mission Accomplished.

Oh, come on. We already established that Riku was straight, right? And anyone with two eyes could see that René was completely head over heels for Sora—and unless they were just really exuberant fuck buddies, Axel felt the same way for Roxas.

Then again…judging by the look on Riku's face, maybe he wasn't so straight…

I guess that makes sense, seeing as how René is definitely a fruit. Oh, well.

But enough of that mush.

"Oi. As sweet as all this shit is, my dentist is all the way back in Twilight Town." I said. "So would somebody tell me where Hayner is before I get a cavity?"

"Ah…well, actually, my boy…" Merlin said. "We aren't entirely sure where Hayner is, at the moment."

My gaze hardened. Everyone around me took a step back. "Excuse me?"

"He was here for a while." Aerith said. "He stayed by your bedside for a few days and wouldn't move at all, even to eat. You've been asleep for over a week, Seifer." She paused. "And then, yesterday, he just…left. We didn't even realize he'd gone until I took up lunch."

"Then why in the _fuck_ are you all here instead of out looking for him?" I demanded.

"We're eating breakfast." Cid said, giving me that no-nonsense look of his. "And don't you take that fucking tone—you think we haven't been looking? We gotta sleep and eat, ya dumb shit. Vincent's still out looking, since he ain't gotta rest and shit like the rest of us. We were gonna go out soon and start looking again."

I snorted. "Fine." I said, turning to leave. My stomach chose that exact moment to growl, though, and I yelped a little as Cid grabbed me by the forehead (yeah, the _forehead_ ) and shoved me into a chair, slamming a cup and a plate of food in front of me.

"Eat, twerp." He said.

"No." I said, standing back up. "I have to find Hayner!"

Hands on my shoulders, Cid forced me back into the seat. "Sit your ass down in that chair and eat your goddamn breakfast!"

"But—mph!" I nearly gagged as he speared a pancake and shoved it into my open mouth.

"Now fucking eat!" He said.

Giving him the best glare I could manage, I began eating, hardly able to stop myself now that I'd started—I hadn't eaten in a week, and this body hadn't eaten in over a year.

"Look at him go!" Sora giggled, snuggled pretty cozily in René's arms.

"I bet fifty munny he makes himself sick." Yuffie said.

Ignoring them, I stuffed the last pancake into my mouth, chewed, swallowed it down with the help of the cup of milk I'd been given, and wiped my mouth, turning a now much more potent glare on Cid.

"Happy now, mom?" I asked. "Can I _go_?"

Surveying my empty plate with a suspicious eye, Cid nodded triumphantly.

"Sure—Hyperion's by the door. If you get lost…well, good luck with that." He said.

"'M not gonna get lost." I muttered, snatching up Hyperion, and left.

(PAGEBREAK,Y'KNOW?)

Okay, so I was a little, teensy bit lost.

Who knew such a… _quaint_ little place could be so fucking confusing?

Luckily, there weren't any heartless around—that was a load off _my_ mind, since it meant that Hayner couldn't have gone and gotten himself killed by the little bastards.

Anyhow, by this time I had wandered out of the still-being-rebuilt town, and into the crags and canyons that made up the surrounding area. The whole place was a fucking _maze_.

But somehow I made it to that Crystal Fissure place, which I was pretty sure led to the Great Maw. And from there I wandered over to the Dark Depths, where Sora and Cloud had evidently fought against this guy named Sephiroth. Tifa seemed to think that, since Cloud was back again, he had finally defeated that Sephiroth fellow. Cloud himself didn't seem so sure of it.

There he was, though, the little chickenwuss. Sitting curled up like he had way back when this whole mess had started, looking at the portrait of Roxas that I had done. Roxas' portrait wasn't out here, of course, so he was just…staring out into the Depths, a rather forlorn expression on his face.

Without announcing my presence, I walked over and plopped down beside him, leaning back on my hands and looking at him.

"You okay, lamer?"

He looked at me, a little startled, but didn't seem all that surprised by my appearance otherwise. He just sighed and rested his head on his knees, though he was still looking at me.

"I couldn't stand it anymore." He said, his eyes filling with tears. "I tried everything I could think of and you just…wouldn't move. It was like you were dead, and I couldn't…I couldn't take it. So I left and came out here."

"And you look like you're about to freeze, you idiot." I said, shrugging my coat off and draping it over his shoulders. "I didn't almost die so you could go and freeze to death, dumbass."

He shook, not from cold but from a big sob that overtook him just before he threw himself into me, knocking us both over.

"I was so…so scared." He whimpered into my chest. "You just…jumped, and I…" He hiccuped, shrugging. "Well, after I thought about it I guess it was kind of obvious that you were going to do _something_ idiotically heroic like that, you fuck-tard, but a warning still would've been nice. And then I realized that that's why you sent Louis and Wilbur after this body, so I wasn't as freaked out or sad as everyone else when we came back here. But then…it was a whole week, and you still didn't even twitch. And I started to think that you…that you were…"

"I'm sorry." I murmured into his hair. God, I'd missed this. I hadn't even realized how much until just then. "Apparently, the Lifestream _missed_ a little when it tried to put me back in this body."

Sniffling loudly, he peered up at me with an incredulous expression on his face.

"That's what I thought." I sighed. "But I ended up back in the past, before my home world was destroyed. I got to meet some of the people from there…saw Selphie and Squall and…and the old me. And then Zack—you remember the guy from the semi-finals at the Coliseum, right?" He nodded. "He came and got me and brought me here. And…well, here I am."

Still not looking like he completely believed me (hell, _I_ didn't completely believe me), he nodded hesitantly before sighing and closing his eyes and leaning into me again.

"Just never do it again, okay?" He asked softly.

"Hey, the Queen's dead, right? And this is the only body I've got, now. So unless you decide to do something really… _really_ retarded, I'm not going anywhere. Think you can manage that, chickenwuss?"

I could feel him smile into the crook of my neck. "Yeah, I think so."

"Good. Being dead is _weird_." I said. "I think I met my mom, too, but I don't really remember. And Zack stuck his arm through my _face_. Crazy stuff, man."

"You're so _stupid_." He laughed.

I laughed, too. And, as everything that had happened finally got to us, we both laughed ourselves into hysterics for a long time, the sound reverberating through the Depths and making us laugh even harder, until there were tears in our eyes and we had let go of each other in favor of holding our sides together. Until finally, falling onto our backs, our sides sore, the laughter faded away into a comfortable silence.

I snagged him around the waist and dragged him closer, kissing his forehead.

"Sorry for taking so long, lamer." I said. "I didn't mean to—"

He grinned up at me, cutting me off. "That's Your Royal Lameness, to you." He said, wrapping his arms around my neck. "And as your Sovereign Chickenwuss, I _order_ you to shut the fuck up and kiss me."

Chuckling, I did.

And we lived happily ever after.

…

"Ow! You fucking _bit_ me!"

"Serves you right, jackass!"

Well, we didn't kill each other, at least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _A/N: It's OVER! :faints: FINALLY! I never in a MILLION YEARS meant for this to turn into such a long, confusing, involved story. Ever. I mean, it started out with them looking for Roxas, and…jeez, it's come SUCH a long way since then. It's insane. But…well, I'm really relieved that it's finally drawn to a close. Sad, of course, because it's turned into my baby, but still relieved._
> 
>  _(And before anyone asks…yeah, I've been planning to set up René and Sora for a LONG time. Almost since René showed up, actually…hopefully now that it's happened it doesn't seem too out of left field. I've been hinting at it for a while…it's just that everyone expected Riku/Sora, so…eh. It was really amusing to me to read all of the pro-Riku/Sora stuff, though, lmao.)_


End file.
